why stay in crappy marriage (wife, female, call, couple)
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-I was scared to be alone (I can admit this)
-I was hoping I *could* change him (dumb, I know)
-Getting divorced would mean that I failed. My goodness, I did not want to fail
-I was scared I'd end up homeless (didn't happen)
We eventually parted ways and my only regret is that I didn't leave sooner. Ah well.
There is nothing like the voice of experience - glad you posted!
Why do people stay in bad marriages, when it is clear the spouse is a deadbeat.
Is it really that bad going thru divorce when it is ruining your life.
#1 - It's not clear that the spouse is a deadbeat. There are good things about the spouse, despite the bad.
#2 - A complex mathematical formula in the mind is performed repeatedly regarding comforts (not only monetary) and things don't seem that much better on "the other side".
I want to add this quote, which I copied and saved from someone a while back...I'll do a quick search to find the original author but it was someone from this board.
I think the sentiment definitely applies to this post...
"I believe in commitment. Probably to my detriment most of the time. But, when commitment becomes so one-sided, I wonder about the mental state of those who would stay.
When I get crap kicked in my face, and stay because I'm "committed", who becomes the fool then? I guess I could then stand on my pedestal and proclaim that I'm "committed", but I would expect to be asked "at what mental hospital?"."
Perhaps fear that things could be even worse? I stayed too long in my first marriage, probably because I had hopes that things could change. Well, they didn't, and when I finally accepted that reality, I moved on. I learned not to hold false hopes or view marriage idealistically. Now, I'm a realist, and doing well, thank you!
If not for financial support, many chicks would be on the streets or close to it.
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