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Old 07-18-2012, 07:15 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,950,522 times
Reputation: 20084

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If she brought it up she probably isn't too freaky about that stuff. If she hadn't mentioned it and you dug up her info that would be different.
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:29 PM
 
23 posts, read 43,642 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Congrats on a good first date. WHo cares if you sent her a friend request. Dont feel the need to explain yourself to someone you barely know. You'll come accross as weak and insecure, not exactly masculine traits. just forget about it and go on about your business. Its her choice to accept or not.
*sigh* OP who cares. I brought up the post above because what he said is exactly right. You are the prime example of what is wrong with most men these days. You fall into this trap of doing everything the opposite sex tells you to do in order to get a date. If the date was as successful as you thought it was, she would not mind at all and accept the request. If not its up to you to find an answer or to see if there will be a second date. Regardless just remember the cardinal rule "a women would make herself available to a guy if she is interested". No matter what. So if I were you I would set up a second date now, not two or three days from now. Just initiate contact by phone or text. If she is interested she will respond promptly, if she does not respond at all chances are the date did not go as well as you thought and she really is not interested in you.

The reason why she might have lost interest could be a number of things, but it wont be because you sent her a facebook friend request right after the first date. Men like you need to stop worrying about being creepy and pushy. Most women who date actors or professional athletes would love to have them text them right away for a second date or send them a friend request immediately on facebook. Just follow the cardinal rule, and if she does not respond try to find out why and move on.
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:32 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,634,793 times
Reputation: 10384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Ace View Post
I had an excellent first date Monday night. At the end of it she mentioned how her Facebook is restricted and impossible to find but mentioned something about how I'll get to see something "when I Friend you." I found her Facebook on my own and hit Send Friend Request, thinking it would bring up some options. Instead it just sent her a request and now I feel funny. I wanted to just send her a message along the lines of "Ha! Found you!" and am thinking of maybe texting this to her. If I repeal my request, she'll probably be confused since chances are it went to her email already.

I feel like a fool. I'm not sure how to handle it now... Maybe I should call and leave a message explaining that I did it my accident?
You sent "send friend request" and now are baffled that FB sent her a friend quest as a result? This is very strange to me.

Any way, nothing more for you to do. Do nothing at this point. Ball is in your court, own your actions, let the chips fall where they may. To try to downplay via text will make matters worse.
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:35 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,634,793 times
Reputation: 10384
Quote:
Originally Posted by RCCCB View Post
Try:
Hi, I looked for ten seconds through google and found you. Have a good one, enjoyed the date and of course I left you a propper Friends request. Thanks.
Best answer of the thread. This is your best chance, OP.
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:42 PM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,582,134 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Best answer of the thread. This is your best chance, OP.
Terrible advice...lol.. For one he is trying to come up with excuses and explain himself which is a first misstep. THen he is telling her that he's googling her after first date, that comes accross stalkerish and creepy as he11. Do nothing and downplay it if she brings it up.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,824,062 times
Reputation: 16642
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Terrible advice...lol.. For one he is trying to come up with excuses and explain himself which is a first misstep. THen he is telling her that he's googling her after first date, that comes accross stalkerish and creepy as he11. Do nothing and downplay it if she brings it up.

I agree here, if she brings it up just act like you did it and it was 100% normal.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:07 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,634,793 times
Reputation: 10384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Terrible advice...lol.. For one he is trying to come up with excuses and explain himself which is a first misstep. THen he is telling her that he's googling her after first date, that comes accross stalkerish and creepy as he11. Do nothing and downplay it if she brings it up.
I disagree. They went out on a date and he needs to follow up. If he doesn't, she will think he isn't interested.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,824,062 times
Reputation: 16642
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
I disagree. They went out on a date and he needs to follow up. If he doesn't, she will think he isn't interested.
You don't follow up on facebook though. I would ignore the fact of facebook completely and not even bring it up. Talk about something else.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,928,712 times
Reputation: 964
Are people really this uptight about friend requensts?

Heck, my profile is completley open (and I don't post crap I don't want found in the first place, since there are always ways around privacy settings if the looker is dedicated enough) and I've friend requested various women I barely knew or didnt know at all and have made good friends (in the real world, not just online) and set my best friend up with his wife that way.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:16 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,634,793 times
Reputation: 10384
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
You don't follow up on facebook though. I would ignore the fact of facebook completely and not even bring it up. Talk about something else.
The facebook part is already done, no point in dwelling on the fact that he shouldn't have done it.

Yes he should bring it up, on his own terms, casually, and with stones in his sack. If he likes her, this isn't a "hold your breath and cross your fingers" weak male situation. He needs to convey interest and re-frame the conversation asap.
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