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If a girl puts out on a first date, she most likely does that with every date. You must be young because when you grow up, you'll most likely choose the good girl to stick around...If a girl doesn't call you, it should be crystal clear, she isn't interested in hooking up with you.
Apparently BJones doesn't care about that b/c he just wanted to get laid in the first place. So, according to the BJones school of thought, if she flakes, she'll never hear from him again, and if she likes him enough to hook up with him, she still probably won't hear from him again. Whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw
The ones that are flakey are those that think they can do better than most of the men they currently have on hold hoovering around them. Those women all have a preconcieved view of what their "perfect guy" would and should be and in the absence of meeting him, regulate any and all guys that do not meet the criteria for their perfect guy to just clowns that have to deal with their issues, which includes being flakey.
When a woman like that finally meets the perfect guy (based on her own subconscious and often flawed perceptions of life, love and her delusional reality) - she absolutely knows it and is never flakey. After all, she actually wants him and maybe on some level even early on convinces herself that she "loves" him. That guy will get what all of the other guys that entered her world before him did not get which is:
the respect that as individuals they deserve, a certain amount of attention, genuine interest and the sex starts way sooner. Until that magic guy enters the picture, some women either due to being oblivious to their own behavior or indifferent to how they treat other men, will always put the rest of the guys in a box and be flakey. After all in their own minds, they have a right to since not every guy meets their expectations for the ideal version of what they think they should be with.
It is the responsiblility of men out in the world to set the standard for what they expect from women like that and it requires bailing out at the first sign of her being flakey. There is no need to reward her behavior and way of treating others in an attempt to be the one she wants to be with and spend time with. Women know almost right after meeting a guy if they will want to be with him (sexually too) and if they do not act in a manner that is consistent with that early on, for the guys that play her game - they are just wasting their time.
By wasting time on flakey freaks, you are expending finite resources like time, effort and money on someone that is not worth it.
People have a preconceived view of what they do and don't want in a partner--ain't just women dude. And if she's not into you, she's likelier to flake. If she is into you, she won't. Simple as that. If she flakes without calling first, she's not into you and you should walk after the first time. Because honestly, in this day of cellphone communications it would be really hard to believe that there wasn't some way to get hold of you. And me--I'm really forgetful about doing stuff, but I would not forget to go on a date with someone I really like. Just sayin'. Now if she calls first and something came up, yes a second chance would be appropriate.
I'm with MsAnnThrope: we, men and women, waste way too much time on folks who are throwing out signals that they're not totally interested and then we get the impression that those of the opposite sex are a bunch of douchebags. Stick with the ones who are into you and you'll have fewer dates but more sanity.
People have a preconceived view of what they do and don't want in a partner--ain't just women dude. And if she's not into you, she's likelier to flake. If she is into you, she won't. Simple as that. If she flakes without calling first, she's not into you and you should walk after the first time. Because honestly, in this day of cellphone communications it would be really hard to believe that there wasn't some way to get hold of you. And me--I'm really forgetful about doing stuff, but I would not forget to go on a date with someone I really like. Just sayin'. Now if she calls first and something came up, yes a second chance would be appropriate.
I'm with MsAnnThrope: we, men and women, waste way too much time on folks who are throwing out signals that they're not totally interested and then we get the impression that those of the opposite sex are a bunch of douchebags. Stick with the ones who are into you and you'll have fewer dates but more sanity.
Yes, if someone is interested, you will KNOW it.
And the idea of lashing out and putting people in their place for flaking, or for not conforming to whatever unspoken standards you have... If you have that much rage on the inside, I'll bet it's visible to others on the outside...
I do not understand the logic about getting angry with someone who has already blown you off. Hint: they don't care. You won't make them feel bad, they will only feel more comfortable that they dodged a bullet.
My troubles lately have come from flaking. I'm at about a 50% date flake rate not to mention the countless phone numbers that go nowhere that could be considered flakes. I've tried a lot of things to reduce flaking but the conclusion I came with is that female flaking is their nature. Whether its from meeting her up at a bar, club, online, they flake out at the same rate. Even meeting them in the daytime when they are sober doesn't work. You will get a phone number that will lead to nowhere. At this point i don't even listen to the ridiculous excuses the females make to rationalize their flaking. Common ones include long day at work, overtime, their friend has a "crisis" (really popular one), they forgot, their friend/sister/mother just came into town.
It's almost sad that I have easier time seducing a girl on a date to have sex than I do actually getting a girl to meetup with me. My friends solution to it was to always double book dates because almost always one of them flakes. If both don't, he just cancels and reschedules her to another day (according to him, ironically flaking on her sometimes makes her more attracted to him). I'm considering using that option. Another tactic that doesn't apply to me unfortunately due to my location, is to setup dates at a spot walking distance to you like a bar or restaurant. Then stay at home and only leave when she calls you to tell you that she arrived.
I want to know how you guys respond to flakes. Its a lose lose situation. If you call her out, you look like you are a butthurt loser. If you let it slide, you tell her that you are chump that will let her get away with flaking.
I absolutly agree with you. Women do seem to flake alot these days. I think that a lot of women set something up until something better comes along. Remember that with facebook, twitter, text messaging etc that women always are getting hit on and asked out.
I found out that giving women my number and instructing them to call me or text me at a certain time works best For example if you meet a cute girl at a bar or store, say "You seem pretty cool, down to earth, here's my number, call me at 9 and we'll continue this conversation." The majority of time they will call or text at around that time. Try it. Meanwhile just continue on with your day not worrying about it.
I do not understand the logic about getting angry with someone who has already blown you off. Hint: they don't care. You won't make them feel bad, they will only feel more comfortable that they dodged a bullet.
Apparently BJones doesn't care about that b/c he just wanted to get laid in the first place. So, according to the BJones school of thought, if she flakes, she'll never hear from him again, and if she likes him enough to hook up with him, she still probably won't hear from him again. Whatever.
People have a preconceived view of what they do and don't want in a partner--ain't just women dude. And if she's not into you, she's likelier to flake. If she is into you, she won't. Simple as that. If she flakes without calling first, she's not into you and you should walk after the first time. Because honestly, in this day of cellphone communications it would be really hard to believe that there wasn't some way to get hold of you. And me--I'm really forgetful about doing stuff, but I would not forget to go on a date with someone I really like. Just sayin'. Now if she calls first and something came up, yes a second chance would be appropriate.
I'm with MsAnnThrope: we, men and women, waste way too much time on folks who are throwing out signals that they're not totally interested and then we get the impression that those of the opposite sex are a bunch of douchebags. Stick with the ones who are into you and you'll have fewer dates but more sanity.
Reading body language is a good tool that you can have at your disposal. Also pay attention to what they are saying when you first meet them. Alot of people will tell you a lot about themselves when you are having a casual conversation (jobs, kids, likes & dislikes etc) , you have to pay attention and read the signs. I wouldnt be mad if a women flaked on me, i just move on to the next one. But in the end it all boils down to Liking someone who likes you.
I know a lot of this goes against what people say about women, but one thing I've noticed is that the girls that flake on me are the ones I really am not excited about going out with myself. It happens if I'm talking to more than one girl at the time. My guess is that it's possible the ones that flake are because you're putting more attention into the other girls and not really doing as much to keep her interested.
Obviously I'm not saying to put her on a pedestal, it's the last thing I'd say, but women DO need their attention. If a girl flakes.. are you typically relieved or dissapointed?
W.T.F
Why would you ask a girl out you're not excited about?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????
American style dating is absolutely inexplicable to me.
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If you have that much rage on the inside, I'll bet it's visible to others on the outside...
