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I see a lot of threads on here about meeting or talking to women. Here are some tips:
1. Be well groomed. Comb your hair, brush your teeth, clip nose, ear hair. Wash up. Do the basics.
2. Have a way to earn money. Dont sit at home with mom with no job, feeling sorry for yourself, expecting to meet a quality women.
3. Be in decent shape. You dont have to spend money on a gym membership. Run laps around your neighborhood, get a bicycle, or run around your local high school track.
4. Pay attention to current events. When breaking the ice with strangers its always a good thing to talk about current events. i.e news, sports, entertainment etc..
5. Be presentable. This goes with rule 1. Make sure when your out in public that your clothes are ironed, no holes in clothes or wearing old worn out clothing. Go to Old Navy or similar stores to get cheap brand new clothing. Make sure your shoes are in decent shape as well.
6. Build your confidence. If your confidence is low then do some activities to get your confidence up. Such as hobbies, exercise, sports etc. Also try to visualize yourself being successful and try to think positive. If you look good (in your mind) then you can feel good.
7. Be a good listener. When meeting with women for the first time, pay attention to what they are actually saying. A lot of women will tell you all you need to know about them during the initial conversation. (jobs, kids, boyfriend etc) Alot of men just want sex so they dont actually HEAR what the women says. Making critical mistakes later.
8. Be a little mysterious. Dont brag about everything all at once. Most guys will tell there whole life story to people when they first meet them. Save some things for later.
9. Have fun. Make sure when you go out that your actually having fun. A lot of people bring their outside problems (work, school, kids etc...) with them that they give off negative energy.
10. Be socialable. While out & about talk to everyone. Talk to men as well as women, dont be the loner in the bar/club looking like a loser. This is where # 4 comes into play.
Following all or some of these tips will help you meet people. After that then its up to you. So men get out in the field and meet women. I want progess reports lol
Not even close to enough.
#1 and #3 aren't sufficent to be attractive. You need to either have a very good looking face/hair and style or a muscular, built body. Being in normal shape with an average face isn't going to attract a random woman.
6 and 10 isn't something you can really change. Confidence and sociability are vague terms that mean different things to different people. Most people can be socially competent enough to date someone. Few are extroverted enough to talk to everyone naturally, and that is a base personality trait that cannot be changed. They can fake it, but it will not come naturally and charismatically. There are also millions of modest women out there who don't neccesarily want the alpha male life of the party. The ones that do, merely talking about current events, looking normal and wearing modest clothes is not enough.
This sounds like advice to get a hookup. Yes, the guy will have to be very attractive and alpha and look in bars to do that. Most guys just want a quality relationship, and they should look to social contacts or recurring activities/friendships instead of trying to fake themself into an extroverted alpha male trying to pick up women in bars.
#1 and #3 aren't sufficent to be attractive. You need to either have a very good looking face/hair and style or a muscular, built body. Being in normal shape with an average face isn't going to attract a random woman.
6 and 10 isn't something you can really change. Confidence and sociability are vague terms that mean different things to different people. Most people can be socially competent enough to date someone. Few are extroverted enough to talk to everyone naturally,
I respectfully disagree. First of all, if women are practicing #10 and being sociable, they will chat with anyone, including average guys. I do, in the grocery store, or wherever. As #10 recommends, I chat with anyone. And secondly, #10 is precisely about changing one's behavior over time. As one becomes accustomed to chatting casually with random strangers, it becomes easier, and eventually, one is comfortable chatting with women. People can change, if they want to. We've even had a couple of members here who had an epiphany, and realized that talking to women is no big deal, if you don't make it a big deal. You can't meet women if you don't talk to them. You have to actually TALK to women in order to get a date, even a casual chat over coffee at the grocery store or coffee shop. You need to open your mouth and use your vocal chords to generate recognizable speech patterns. This is what #10 is suggesting. It becomes easier with practice.
I see a lot of threads on here about meeting or talking to women. Here are some tips:
1. Be well groomed. Comb your hair, brush your teeth, clip nose, ear hair. Wash up. Do the basics.
2. Have a way to earn money. Dont sit at home with mom with no job, feeling sorry for yourself, expecting to meet a quality women.
3. Be in decent shape. You dont have to spend money on a gym membership. Run laps around your neighborhood, get a bicycle, or run around your local high school track.
4. Pay attention to current events. When breaking the ice with strangers its always a good thing to talk about current events. i.e news, sports, entertainment etc..
5. Be presentable. This goes with rule 1. Make sure when your out in public that your clothes are ironed, no holes in clothes or wearing old worn out clothing. Go to Old Navy or similar stores to get cheap brand new clothing. Make sure your shoes are in decent shape as well.
6. Build your confidence. If your confidence is low then do some activities to get your confidence up. Such as hobbies, exercise, sports etc. Also try to visualize yourself being successful and try to think positive. If you look good (in your mind) then you can feel good.
7. Be a good listener. When meeting with women for the first time, pay attention to what they are actually saying. A lot of women will tell you all you need to know about them during the initial conversation. (jobs, kids, boyfriend etc) Alot of men just want sex so they dont actually HEAR what the women says. Making critical mistakes later.
8. Be a little mysterious. Dont brag about everything all at once. Most guys will tell there whole life story to people when they first meet them. Save some things for later.
9. Have fun. Make sure when you go out that your actually having fun. A lot of people bring their outside problems (work, school, kids etc...) with them that they give off negative energy.
10. Be socialable. While out & about talk to everyone. Talk to men as well as women, dont be the loner in the bar/club looking like a loser. This is where # 4 comes into play.
Following all or some of these tips will help you meet people. After that then its up to you. So men get out in the field and meet women. I want progess reports lol
Why is it that people believe that loners are losers. There's nothing wrong with being alone for christ sake's besides your post didn't tackle the number 1 problem "fear of rejection". I suggest counseling.
I respectfully disagree. First of all, if women are practicing #10 and being sociable, they will chat with anyone, including average guys. I do, in the grocery store, or wherever. As #10 recommends, I chat with anyone. And secondly, #10 is precisely about changing one's behavior over time. As one becomes accustomed to chatting casually with random strangers, it becomes easier, and eventually, one is comfortable chatting with women. People can change, if they want to. We've even had a couple of members here who had an epiphany, and realized that talking to women is no big deal, if you don't make it a big deal. You can't meet women if you don't talk to them. You have to actually TALK to women in order to get a date, even a casual chat over coffee at the grocery store or coffee shop. You need to open your mouth and use your vocal chords to generate recognizable speech patterns. This is what #10 is suggesting. It becomes easier with practice.
Women can talk to random strangers a bit easier than men can. Men typically are all ears when a woman starts talking with them and women are comfortbale talking with other women. If a guy tries talking to a woman, she is on creep alert if she's not attracted and a guy isn't intersted talking to another guy unless they have a strong common interest.
Some people are good looking and charismatic enough to pull this off, but they are few and far between.
And my point is that the whole idea of meeting random women to get dates is the wrong idea in the first place. It's a lot better to use an exapnded social network or talk with someone over time at a recurring activity like a volnteer club/school or even work rather than futilitily trying to turn on the charm on a random woman to get a date in the 30 seconds of idel chat before they move on.
Just look at all the threads... "I dont go to the gym to get hit on, I don't go to the grocery store to meet men" etc etc.
Fact is that except for a very small segment of the male population that is very attractive and charismatic, women tend to not be comfortable with random men and prefer to date people they get to know over time (school, work, common interest, even back and forth online messaging) or through their social circle.
#1 and #3 aren't sufficent to be attractive. You need to either have a very good looking face/hair and style or a muscular, built body. Being in normal shape with an average face isn't going to attract a random woman.
6 and 10 isn't something you can really change. Confidence and sociability are vague terms that mean different things to different people. Most people can be socially competent enough to date someone. Few are extroverted enough to talk to everyone naturally, and that is a base personality trait that cannot be changed. They can fake it, but it will not come naturally and charismatically. There are also millions of modest women out there who don't neccesarily want the alpha male life of the party. The ones that do, merely talking about current events, looking normal and wearing modest clothes is not enough.
This sounds like advice to get a hookup. Yes, the guy will have to be very attractive and alpha and look in bars to do that. Most guys just want a quality relationship, and they should look to social contacts or recurring activities/friendships instead of trying to fake themself into an extroverted alpha male trying to pick up women in bars.
agreed with a lot of this, i know a bunch of my friends that are single that are very good quality men, they arent the guys that ur gonna see hit on tons of women out at the bar, that are gonna come off super confident or anything like that.
Personally i get fustrated in the bar/club scene. I'll go to hang out with friends and to hang but i'm not gonna fake a personality or go around thinking im the s#% to attract women. These places dont let your natural personality shine through.
Fact is that except for a very small segment of the male population that is very attractive and charismatic, women tend to not be comfortable with random men and prefer to date people they get to know over time (school, work, common interest, even back and forth online messaging) or through their social circle.
its a lot easier and less awkward , i've met women gone out on a few dates and we didnt have much to talk about.. chalk it up to not knowing each other much or not having a good enough connection but i think we would be able to talk more had we met and waited a bit to go out and got to know each other better
And my point is that the whole idea of meeting random women to get dates is the wrong idea in the first place. It's a lot better to use an exapnded social network or talk with someone over time at a recurring activity like a volnteer club/school or even work rather than futilitily trying to turn on the charm on a random woman to get a date in the 30 seconds of idel chat before they move on.
I believe in doing both; talking to random people and networking through friends, activities, clubs, etc. It can't hurt to do both.
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault
Just look at all the threads... "I dont go to the gym to get hit on, I don't go to the grocery store to meet men" etc etc.
I saw few comments of that nature, mainly on just one thread. There have been countless threads, however, with people advocating doing just that--talking to people in stores and the gym. Women have posted they'd be flattered if someone chatted with them in the grocery line, then invited them to sit down for coffee. So there's all kinds; some who don't want to be bothered while shopping, others who go to the store open to meeting someone, or at least just open to passing the time in line being neighborly. Funny how some posters here see the cup as half empty ("no one wants to be bothered at the gym"), while others see it as half-full ("that's one reason we go to the gym/store/concert/coffeehouse!"). I've met a couple of good guys hanging around the cool coffeeshop or teahouse in town, and at the grocery store. Some neighborhood hangouts/coffeeshops/bakeries are known for being places to mix with singles. Some gyms are like that.
Just for clarification, I didn't take #10 to refer exclusively to being confident in bars. I took it to apply more generally; being confident enough to chat with people anywhere. Maybe the OP could clarify how #10 was intended. Guys might be surprised how many women don't drink, and so would never be found in a bar.
Why is it that people believe that loners are losers. There's nothing wrong with being alone for christ sake's besides your post didn't tackle the number 1 problem "fear of rejection". I suggest counseling.
I worded that wrong. There is nothing wrong with being a loner. Dont be the guy hidden in corner of the club alone.
I would say "Don't be a douche" but that apparently has a better success rate than any approach I've ever done. lol
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