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Because being a parent is an experience they'd like to have?
Not everyone wants this experience. Obviously, they should do everything within their power, then, to ensure that this doesn't happen. Sadly, though, too many people who don't want kids fail to take the initiative to ensure that they don't end up with any.
As mentioned previously, I know a parent all too well who never wanted kids, and doesn't want the kids he has. I wouldn't wish that kind of parent be inflicted on any child.
easy question easy answer.
have seen the damage done by rotten mothers.
have seen the CPS reported irreversible damage to kids.
have seen the miserable lazy coward hide behind motherhood and then mess up their own kid's lives and then take the old man to the cleaners in divorce court and call him a child molester to boot.
i have had enough
prenup dont leave home w/o it.
It was your delivery. Using words like "owe" and "nihilistic" did not help your cause.
You may have been curious, but you were also judgemental.
Hah, in all fairness, phrases like "breeding sow" (give me a break!) being subbed in for "parent" aren't exactly devoid of emotional charge. There is more than one person in this discussion being intellectually dishonest, judgmental, and manipulating by using charged words for shock value.
Most of the people I know who don't want kids, like kids. They just don't want to raise their own. My sister,oldest daughter and step-son aren't married and don't want kids. They won't date someone with minor children.
I never wanted anything more than to have a child with the woman I love. I believe all of my experiences (good and bad) are a lesson for my future children. I want to be there when their eyes open, when they take their first steps, when they say their first words, and eventually help them if they come to me with relationship problems. I will never see them as "mini me's" as they are their own person and I will be proud of every achievement they make as well as help them if they happen to take a negative path. Yes I know it will be difficult and not all sunshine. I know there will be times where I'm practically broke paying for braces or stress because my child is stressed, but that is the life of a parent. Just to here my child call me dad will uplift me and get me thru anything.
So far so good for me. I have a beautiful wife who loves me very much and wants to have children with me as much as I do with her. We're waiting a little because we were recently married and want to travel a little first. I consider myself very lucky and I can't wait to meet my kids.
I can't understand why this topic keeps making it's way to the forum.
It's really quite simple, if you want kids and can offer them a good life, have them. If you don't want kids, don't have them.
It's not "one size fits all" and there are so many variables for every couple. You could sit here ALL day and keep going in circles about the "why" and "why not" but you will never come to any kind of conclusion.
Whether you had kids or not, people are always looking to justify their choices. Birth control made becoming a parent a choice instead of something that just happened. That's a huge change. Becoming a parent is no longer an inevitable consequence of a sexual relationship.
I still remember my grandmother commenting that she ended up pregnant every time my grandfather hung up his pants on the bed post!
I never wanted anything more than to have a child with the woman I love. I believe all of my experiences (good and bad) are a lesson for my future children. I want to be there when their eyes open, when they take their first steps, when they say their first words, and eventually help them if they come to me with relationship problems. I will never see them as "mini me's" as they are their own person and I will be proud of every achievement they make as well as help them if they happen to take a negative path. Yes I know it will be difficult and not all sunshine. I know there will be times where I'm practically broke paying for braces or stress because my child is stressed, but that is the life of a parent. Just to here my child call me dad will uplift me and get me thru anything.
So far so good for me. I have a beautiful wife who loves me very much and wants to have children with me as much as I do with her. We're waiting a little because we were recently married and want to travel a little first. I consider myself very lucky and I can't wait to meet my kids.
You know you have to actualy make your kids not just meet them, right? =)
You have a great attitude about being a parent and seem sensible about it. But then again, no one is judging you for it or telling you that its selfish for you to feel one way or the other. All we really want is an open minded discussiona and mututal respect, which includes those who choose not to have kids. Just becasue it is a path less taken, doesnt mean its wrong.
You know you have to actualy make your kids not just meet them, right? =)
You have a great attitude about being a parent and seem sensible about it. But then again, no one is judging you for it or telling you that its selfish for you to feel one way or the other. All we really want is an open minded discussiona and mututal respect, which includes those who choose not to have kids. Just becasue it is a path less taken, doesnt mean its wrong.
I only have a problem with BAD parenting. Those who choose not to have children are fine as long as they don't make it more difficult for those who do (unless their asking for it ofcourse).
Oh and I'm not worried about the making part. That's the best part of parenting. No need to take or use anything. Anytime, anywhere all the way. Umm sorry if I offended anyone.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
Only reason why i wouldn't want kids, is if I couldn't afford them.
The way things are going the only way most US citizens are going to be able to afford children is to either be real rich, real poor, or emigrate to Europe or Canada for free healthcare.
Because being a parent is an experience they'd like to have?
Not everyone wants this experience. Obviously, they should do everything within their power, then, to ensure that this doesn't happen. Sadly, though, too many people who don't want kids fail to take the initiative to ensure that they don't end up with any.
As mentioned previously, I know a parent all too well who never wanted kids, and doesn't want the kids he has. I wouldn't wish that kind of parent be inflicted on any child.
Try being a young woman seeking a doctor to perform a tubal ligation.
Good luck with that.
Apparently we'll change our minds or we're too stupid to know what we want.
I had mine done in Europe in 1977. Never regretted it at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
Hah, in all fairness, phrases like "breeding sow" (give me a break!) being subbed in for "parent" aren't exactly devoid of emotional charge. There is more than one person in this discussion being intellectually dishonest, judgmental, and manipulating by using charged words for shock value.
When people tell us that's what we're born for, our purpose in life, then they are looking at us as breeding sows.
I'm not here for that at all and absolutely resent the implication.
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