Older women, younger man...or vice versa? (dating, wife, married)

[dreamofmonterey]

what is the cut-off point...It is not unusual to see a 20 year old with someone 30 years older, (older Man), but it seems there is still a double standard, for example if the woman is over 35 and the man under 25.


What is everyone's opinion?

sunny

[GoddessofRandomThoughts]

Yes, there is still a double standard.

I think that as long as the younger man is of legal age, I know that's supposed to be 18 but I think 21 or so is better, then what can you say.

I've dated older and younger men , no one has ever commented on the older men even if they could have been my father. Hmmm... okay , I've never dated anyone quite that old. LOL But, I did date a guy that I could have had if i had had children at around 17 or so which does happen. There were a few looks but so what, we had fun and parted as friends.
I don't know if there is a cut off point.

As long as neither person is trying to take advantage of the other, it's all good.

[Mathguy]

I was 25 when I got married to my (32 year old) wife. I think we both got a good deal.

[Roaddog]

I think it all depends on what you want from that person, if your just dating or having a good time the cut off time will be up to you, if your after a relationship it's going to depend on if you can relate to each other, if a woman is in her late 30's and wants a family may want to pick a guy that wants the same thing instead of partying of playing video games while working at 7-11
Don't mind me I don't really know, I wouldn't have much in common with someone very much younger than me.

[lorraine1]

I prefer older men,Hubby is 4 years older then me,

[Huckleberry3911948]

Originally Posted by sunnyhelena

what is the cut-off point...It is not unusual to see a 20 year old with someone 30 years older, (older Man), but it seems there is still a double standard, for example if the woman is over 35 and the man under 25.


What is everyone's opinion?

sunny

i responded but you did not list me.
i am hurt.
stephen s
san diego ca

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by sunnyhelena

what is the cut-off point...It is not unusual to see a 20 year old with someone 30 years older, (older Man), but it seems there is still a double standard, for example if the woman is over 35 and the man under 25.


What is everyone's opinion?

sunny

Eeeeeeeeeeeew, it's not? Okay, sorry. Just had to get that out. Definitely you see a lot of older men with younger women, and you'll even see paunchy 40-year-olds daydreaming that they're going to go on eharmony and find a 22-year-old, but a 20 and a 50? I have honestly never known a 20-year-old woman to go out with a 50-year-old man. I'm sure it must happen, but...ughhhhhhhh, bleah. When I was 20, if 50-year-old approached me I'd literally have felt a little sick...someone five years older than my father wishing to get nasty with me? That is so not right. (ETA: To me. I'm sure there's somebody on here who met a 48-year-old when she was 18 and they're happy now and all that...)

As far as the double-standard, yes, I agree that it exists! And it's ridiculous.

As for me, my first husband was six years older than I. My second husband is four years younger than I. I didn't pick him specifically because he was younger, though. It just worked out that way. But in general, I'm sure if you took a poll of the entire population, there are far more 45-year-old men wiggling their eyebrows at 20-year-old "women" (their daughters' friends, I guess?--or kids their daughters used to babysit...yar har!) than the other way around.

I think this *originally* started because of two factors: 1. It used to be the men who made the money--so a man had to be established with a job and perhaps even a home before he got married, placing him much older by then than a girl just out of high school and looking for a husband; and 2. In relationships where children are desired, guys obviously have a whole lot more playing room with that than women--a man really can sew his wild oats until he's 40 and not worry about marrying and then thinking about "starting" children five years from that point.

[dreamofmonterey]

There is definitely a change, you are right in that women are now the breadwinners (if they are 10-20 years or so older) it seems all good as long as its an honest relationship- there was a show on We channel though, the women were maybe 50, good looking, but with younger men- I am not talking 5-8 years- it was more drastic than that.

[Mathguy]

Originally Posted by JerZ

Eeeeeeeeeeeew, it's not? Okay, sorry. Just had to get that out. Definitely you see a lot of older men with younger women, and you'll even see paunchy 40-year-olds daydreaming that they're going to go on eharmony and find a 22-year-old, but a 20 and a 50? I have honestly never known a 20-year-old woman to go out with a 50-year-old man. I'm sure it must happen, but...ughhhhhhhh, bleah. When I was 20, if 50-year-old approached me I'd literally have felt a little sick...someone five years older than my father wishing to get nasty with me? That is so not right. (ETA: To me. I'm sure there's somebody on here who met a 48-year-old when she was 18 and they're happy now and all that...)

As far as the double-standard, yes, I agree that it exists! And it's ridiculous.

As for me, my first husband was six years older than I. My second husband is four years younger than I. I didn't pick him specifically because he was younger, though. It just worked out that way. But in general, I'm sure if you took a poll of the entire population, there are far more 45-year-old men wiggling their eyebrows at 20-year-old "women" (their daughters' friends, I guess?--or kids their daughters used to babysit...yar har!) than the other way around.

I think this *originally* started because of two factors: 1. It used to be the men who made the money--so a man had to be established with a job and perhaps even a home before he got married, placing him much older by then than a girl just out of high school and looking for a husband; and 2. In relationships where children are desired, guys obviously have a whole lot more playing room with that than women--a man really can sew his wild oats until he's 40 and not worry about marrying and then thinking about "starting" children five years from that point.

I agree that it's creepy to some extent.

You are forgetting point #3, that some women like older men in that they can be stable and responsible and they are looking for that "father figure".

[Rance]

I am not 48!