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The truth is there is nothing fair about dating and the field is in no way level. On that field we all do the best we can with what we have to attain the best possible partner. It would be disingenuous to say otherwise. The OP wants and feels that she can land a childless man, whether this is the case or she will need to lower her standards will be proven in time. The way she came off in her post though leads me to wonder how much luck she will have...
I've had a number of guys with children approach me and I am very upfront in saying thank you, but no. I am not interested in a relationship that involves children.(although I have two children myself) Why do they need to e-mail back and get nasty about it? I wasn't putting you down for having them, they just aren't meant for my lifestyle.
Well if they knew that you have kids before you rejected them then they see you as a hypocrite. No one likes hypocrites.
Makes me glad that I'm a woman. I have never seen this type of hyprocracy with single dads.
What in the heck are you going on about? This thread isn't about childless single people not wanting to date those with children.
No. this thread is on a single mother only wanting to date men without children. The responces are from men who do not want to date single mothers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SingleMommy1087
..................That whole post was full of generalizations.
Forgive me of my ignorance here *sarcasm*, but isn't it the job of the parent to put their children first? If you didn't, wouldn't you be saying that person is a bad parent? There's the catch 22 of that.
If you don't want to date single parents that's fine. But don't blame that on the fact that the parent must put their child first. I don't know about you, but putting your kids first tells me that you would make a wonderful parent. Just saying.
Everyone is only going to give you generalizations, that is what a forum is all about.
Their parenting is not to blame, it is the reason! No judgment on parenting skills.
The single man is dating for one reason first - booty. A woman's parenting skills are not even considered.
Do you think a man actually looks at a woman and says "I bet she would be a good mother", a man looks at a woman and says "I want to hit that!"
The arguments against this are only empty reasoning by single parents trying to fight their new status. Single but not datable.
The OP who will remain a one post pony has the same in common. She does not want to date a man with children because his attention will be divided. She wants undivided attention paid to her and her children.
Maybe single moms should stop worrying so much about dating and put that energy into raising their children. The kids are already dealing with a less then optimal situation.
I was gonna say this too, but usually when you do, you get your azz handed to you........
I've been a single mom since before my youngest was born, men without kids had no issue dating me. It is always 'my' issue when they want to take the next step and ask to meet my children. Although I must be most excellent booty...I think their intentions were deeper than that. Lol
I've had a number of guys with children approach me and I am very upfront in saying thank you, but no. I am not interested in a relationship that involves children.(although I have two children myself) Why do they need to e-mail back and get nasty about it? I wasn't putting you down for having them, they just aren't meant for my lifestyle.
I can completely relate to what you posted here. When I was single, I took the same stance. I have kids myself also (well, now they are adults) but then they weren't. You're right, men get very bent out of shape when you say "no thanks" and try to explain why. I think the reason is comes down to self esteem / self confidence issues. I think they are the ones who are still bitter about their circumstances and feel that their quality of life has been directly affected by having kids therefore they get peeved when a woman turns them down directly because they have kids.
I count myself lucky for saying no and having those men have those reactions, it just proved to me at the time that I made the right decision based on how they took the news.
Keep doing what you do and keep to your likes and dislikes. Not only will you find men that don't have kids and don't mind that you do, you'd be surprised how many there are.
No. this thread is on a single mother only wanting to date men without children. The responces are from men who do not want to date single mothers.
Everyone is only going to give you generalizations, that is what a forum is all about.
Their parenting is not to blame, it is the reason! No judgment on parenting skills.
The single man is dating for one reason first - booty. A woman's parenting skills are not even considered.
Do you think a man actually looks at a woman and says "I bet she would be a good mother", a man looks at a woman and says "I want to hit that!"
The arguments against this are only empty reasoning by single parents trying to fight their new status. Single but not datable.
The OP who will remain a one post pony has the same in common. She does not want to date a man with children because his attention will be divided. She wants undivided attention paid to her and her children.
You can be a single parent and datable. To say otherwise is not only absurd, but it's just to defend a stance why you think single parents shouldn't date.
As for guys, are we talking younger guys like 19-28 then yeah I would agree. Hence I why I date guys in their 30's. They tend to be more ready to settle down and more mature than guys in their 20's. At least that's my experience.
You also have to keep in mind, a good single parent who isn't looking for just sex or booty calls put dates to the test by making them wait. I usually will make a guy wait at least a few months before I even think about progressing it to that level. This weeds out the guys who are not looking for anything serious, or just talking to me and buttering me up for booty. I have figured out very good ways around that and thwarted it on many occasions. I want more than sex, I want a good solid man that I trust, my child trusts, and cares about me and him.
Responsible parents who date also know that you don't introduce the s/o and kid until at least 6 months in.
We are datable though. Again just because YOU wouldn't want to date one of us, doesn't mean we are "undatable" on the market
I've had a number of guys with children approach me and I am very upfront in saying thank you, but no. I am not interested in a relationship that involves children.(although I have two children myself) Why do they need to e-mail back and get nasty about it? I wasn't putting you down for having them, they just aren't meant for my lifestyle.
You want a man to be interested in you and your two children yet you are not interested in a man with children. Hmmmm.... kinda like the overweight person refusing to date overweight people.
I would only consider it if he only had one child same age or older than my own and he was sterilized.
There is a lot of drama involved in being a blended family and sometimes the best solution is just to avoid the situation altogether. I'd rather be single a thousand times over than be involved with a man with 3 kids and a nutball ex. Love doesn't conquer all.
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