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I think that I am relatively normal. I am luckier than most people, I would think.
I just have some bad habits..
I was wearing shorts and he saw part of my scars but he looked really unsure of what they really were. It looked like he was going to ask me but hesitated.
I don't cut really.. anymore. I used to though. I am going to have to show more to myself to him anyway, in the future. At least I think I am.
How do I just tell him about the scars rather than have him see them blantantly?
How long have you two been together? I wouldn't reveal self-harm issues when you're just getting to know someone, but after a relationship has been established. Your scars are nothing to be ashamed of, but they can be a potential deal-breaker for some people.
If the two of you have been together for a while, you can bring up something like, "So, I saw you looking at my thighs and you seem kind of concerned. It's okay to ask me questions." And then talk about how they were from a time in your life where you weren't so secure, but it's over now and it has been for some time. You're not directly saying that you used to cut, but you're not lying about it, either.
Last edited by silverbelles; 07-26-2012 at 06:52 PM..
Reason: added more
I used to cut. I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't except me for me and everything that comes along with that. I'm as honest as I can be, as early as I can be. If he runs for the hills, I just watch him go. Life's too short to hide. Wear them as a sign of where you came from and how far you've come.
Just take off your shirt...he won't be looking at the cuts any longer...seriously...I have some scars....I am not ready to talk about them..so...if anyone asks...I just say...not now....and that is okay. Sometimes people don't want to hear a big emotional discussion about psychological baggage...the issue is...do you want to discuss it or not...you decide that first.
Tough to reveal stuff about one's past to a present mate. If he's a good guy, he'll feel empathy and understanding. If it scars him off, he's not right for you. Let him bring it up and ask, though. I think that would be easiest. Not really sure what advice to give, but wanted to give you a virtual hug
Just follow through if it or something similar comes up one day and talk about it with him. He probably won't turn a hair, I've had people tell me all sorts of wild stuff, cutting is nothing! The shame is the worst part you know. Lots of really smart wonderful people do stupid things when they are young.
Remember this, always -
If they care they don't matter, and if they matter they don't care.
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The shame is the worst part you know. Lots of really smart wonderful people do stupid things when they are young.
