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She was being honest. They are divorced. She waited until my sister turned 18 and left. She was unhappy and miserable their entire marriage(according to her) and only dealt with it because he was a good provider. She was a single mom, got pregnant by a deadbeat that never paid an ounce of child support, had an abusive mother who tried to kill her on multiple occasions, no father, etc, etc. At the time she just wanted stability and financial security. She stated she's always like "finer" things, and growing up poor she just didn't have the access. Once she married my dad she did.
Sunkisses87, this happens all the time. Not sure, why people think it doesn't. My girlfriend was thinking about leaving her husband -- thought again. Why would she leave with three kids. She's there, but doesn't want to be.
Some could be with someone settled for him/her.
I have a friend with 4 children at 27. She got married young, had children right after the next. Long story short, the father is pretty complacent and has gotten abusive in recent years. She won't leave. No one understands why she is still there, even she admitted she doesn't love him. But she's afraid to be a single mom. Has even said "what guy would date someone like me with 4 kids." So she stays. Figures it's better than doing it on her own.
My mom said everytime she tried to leave my dad, she would think about being poor with children and staying seemed like the better option.
I'm not saying that most marriages are like the above, but there are plenty of people who get married and later on admit to themselves that they could have done better or that they wish they chose better.
Kind of careless, isn't he? (Not that we're not glad you're here! )
What do you want me to tell you? He's not a perfect person, no one is.
And me messed up a few times. He actually has 3 kids including myself. 2 of them want nothing to do with him, but part of it is not his fault, but there mothers.
But, that's a little too personal, and not a story I will share with anyone.
Yes she did what she felt she had to do. Now she has since said that if she would have known what she knows now about marriage, about money, etc, she would have went for a better paying career(she was a sahm and before that a teacher) and just took care of my brother by herself, and married for love OR not married at all. So obviously that says something about her decision to marry a man for his money. She has pretty much stated that she never wants to depend on a man or any person for money EVER again. Now she didn't go deeper and explain why, but something tells me that the saying "marry a man for money and you earn every penny" was probably true for her. My dad was terribly controlling and verbally and emotionally abusive.
Yes she did what she felt she had to do. Now she has since said that if she would have known what she knows now about marriage, about money, etc, she would have went for a better paying career(she was a sahm and before that a teacher) and just took care of my brother by herself, and married for love OR not married at all. So obviously that says something about her decision to marry a man for his money. She has pretty much stated that she never wants to depend on a man or any person for money EVER again. Now she didn't go deeper and explain why, but something tells me that the saying "marry a man for money and you earn every penny" was probably true for her. My dad was terribly controlling and verbally and emotionally abusive.
I live in an extremely high-income area where every third man is a wall street money manager. Then the wife shows up and she is 1000 times more dazzling than him. And what lies behind is what you just described - security.
I don't have an own....the girls that are of my kind are so rare that I've only ever met like 5. Two of those are my sisters.
It's hard being a biracial African (Kenyan) who grew up in both Kenya and America...Being "not black" but "not white" and "black" in America and "white" in Africa and not being "American" or "Kenyan"...but both (or niether?)...lulz, I'm a mess. A mutt...as another biracial Kenyan/American put it.
But, honestly, wouldn't have it any other way. It makes for an interesting life.
My joke was always that I was going to form an Mexican/Swedish society, but I couldn't finad anyone else to join.
I live in an extremely high-income area where every third man is a wall street money manager. Then the wife shows up and she is 1000 times more dazzling than him. And what lies behind is what you just described - security.
Yep. My mom was very attractive as well. So it was an equal trade off. But she wasn't happy. Maybe those women are.
IMO, no matter how perfect someone is for us, there are some compromises needed no matter how minor. In that sense, we ALL settle. I "settled" for my ideal match, as she's as perfect a match for me as anyone can be, to the extent of my knowledge and ability to discern this. And yet, she is not and cannot be "perfect."
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