Is this the real you posting here? (guy, engagement, feeling)
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In October 2011, I fell in love with a co-worker that I spent basically every day of the last three months with. She rejected me brutally. It's well documented in my posts here.
That sent me on a downward spiral where I...
1) Got a rebound girlfriend
2) Became an overnight misogynist who could only see the bad things women have done to me
3) Reduced my own self-esteem to the size of a peanut
4) Went gung-ho about the idea of dating and getting women to the point of thinking of hitting on 20 women a month, etc, etc.
The real Jobaba doesn't care about dating all that much and doesn't really belong on this forum. To wit...
Threads started at City Data Forum regarding dating after October 2011: ~70
Threads started at CD regarding dating before October 2011: zero.
I'm ALMOST over my co-worker and the real me is almost back. I'm spending more time on ESPN.com. I'm spending more time playing music. It feels good to have the real me creeping back.
I see some bitter stuff posted here that sometimes makes me wonder if those people are even real. For others, is this your real base personality that is posting here or did some messed up issue draw you to this dating site (as is often the case)?
it's not customary for people to go around shooting their mouths off on others' relationship dramas and things of that nature. I mind my own business and if people want to run around making a mess out their lives over another person, wouldn't be anything new, would it? So no, IRL I do not express my opinions to people on these matters because I'm not asked. IF someone asked me I would surely tell them what I thought and the reasons why. I have had people get 'mad' in the past b/c they asked me my opinion on their love situation. Oh well... As far as my depression/anxiety issues, I tend to keep my problems to myself excusing a therapist. I don't see what telling some outside person is going to do.
I came here initially looking for info on moving back to NYC, then saw there was a lot more to the site. I chip in my two francs if I think I can help somebody. Going through some tough family health challenges, I should start a medical practice, so this is a good break for me.
I've never really seen the point of creating a character or using the anonymity of the internet just to be confrontational and stir things up, so yes, it's the real me.
I think Datafeed has a valid point. (And no, CD is not liable, read your TOS.)
But Datafeed may be a pot stirrer, and thus very direct, but I absolutely benefit from someone stirring the pot, and opening the discussion to opposing views. As an analogy, when one stirs the pot, the bay leaf gets exposed, and therefore does not end up in my bowl to choke on it.
Some issues need to be turned upside down so you can see them from a different perspective.
You may not like his/her term (Stirring the pot), but the excercise is most valid.
This is the real me. On the internet, I can discuss things with anonymity that I would not be comfortable with IRL (See my first thread started in this forum). I get a lotof value from all responses, even the ones I argue with the most vehimately.
There is a difference between discussing opposing views and being an outright jerk. Some people can't tell the difference. It's unfortunate.
In October 2011, I fell in love with a co-worker that I spent basically every day of the last three months with. She rejected me brutally. It's well documented in my posts here.
That sent me on a downward spiral where I...
1) Got a rebound girlfriend
2) Became an overnight misogynist who could only see the bad things women have done to me
3) Reduced my own self-esteem to the size of a peanut
4) Went gung-ho about the idea of dating and getting women to the point of thinking of hitting on 20 women a month, etc, etc.
The real Jobaba doesn't care about dating all that much and doesn't really belong on this forum. To wit...
Threads started at City Data Forum regarding dating after October 2011: ~70
Threads started at CD regarding dating before October 2011: zero.
I'm ALMOST over my co-worker and the real me is almost back. I'm spending more time on ESPN.com. I'm spending more time playing music. It feels good to have the real me creeping back.
I see some bitter stuff posted here that sometimes makes me wonder if those people are even real. For others, is this your real base personality that is posting here or did some messed up issue draw you to this dating site (as is often the case)?
Dating site?
5 pages in and I'm surprised only one poster so called you on that. This is NOT a dating site. Many who post here are in good relationships.
Yes, I am real. I detest lying. I do not understand why some make up stories on here just for attention.
He does? That giving advice is potentially harmful, so we're all wasting our time here? What?
He may (?) be being a jerk about it, but yes, it's a good point. He said that someones good intentions can lead to bad consequences. I don't know about you, but I think that giving someone relationship advice carries a bit of responsibility. Case in point, there is a thread on here asking "should I leave my spouse?" There is a relatively short discription of what a jerk the spouse is, and most people jumped in and said "leave him, life is too short". You don't see that as potentially harmful? How about stirring the pot a little. Asking the OP to look at themselves and see if they are part of the problem. It's constructive feedback, and absolutely has a place on a forum like this if it is to be "NOT" a waste of time.
I have not read enough of his posts to know if he's a jerk or not. I do know that some people are devisive, but they have good points and valid contributions. I choose to overlook someone being a d-bag, and see if they have a contribution or not. It's all subjective, but I think he has a point. (Clearly, you are free to disagree.)
Quote:
Usually, that's called trolling. On a forum already prone to misogyny, that doesn't help.
Trolling is posting JUST for the sake of pissing people off and starting an argument. If someone is stirring the pot for the sake of exposing an opposing view, that is not the same. Again, I don't know datafeed's history, maybe he could have a better delivery. But rather than wasting your energy on being angry about his delivery, why not see if you can gain from his post, even if opposing.
Hell, I learn more from people I vehimately disagree with than those that share same or similar opinions. (I wish I could spell vehimately!!!).
Trying to keep it positive, I hope my response helps explain my POV.
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