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You're right. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've seen a single childless woman tip over to a single dad rather than to a single unmarried childless male, albeit handsome, because of the virility factor associated with having procreated. It really seems to do it for some women. That's cool. I couldn't relate to a woman who viewed it that way anyhow.
You're right. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've seen a single childless woman tip over to a single dad rather than to a single unmarried childless male, albeit handsome, because of the virility factor associated with having procreated. It really seems to do it for some women. That's cool. I couldn't relate to a woman who viewed it that way anyhow.
It's probably less due to 'virility' and more due to being in a similar situation. Just like I'd prefer to date a childless man as opposed to a man with children because we'd be more likely to be at a similar place in life.
If virility was so important, single Moms (especially those with multiple children by multiple men) would be taken off the market quickly.
My brother is a very hardworking single father. His wife ran out on him and the kid because she got married too young and never had a life So now we, his family, get to pick up the slack by baby sitting my niece while he works double shifts 6 days a week to put food on the table. He's a hell of a guy.
If virility was so important, single Moms (especially those with multiple children by multiple men) would be taken off the market quickly.
But the double standard is at work. Single mom's children are viewed as a ball and chain. A single dad's children are viewed "wow, he was man enough to step up to the plate and procreate."
This is my interpretation. I've heard so many women almost coo, when talking about their single Dad boyfriend and the upcoming weekend, in that dumb sing-song manner "...and he's got his kids." Barf-bag, please.
But the double standard is at work. Single mom's children are viewed as a ball and chain. A single dad's children are viewed "wow, he was man enough to step up to the plate and procreate."
This is my interpretation. I've heard so many women almost coo, when talking about their single Dad boyfriend and the upcoming weekend, in that dumb sing-song manner "...and he's got his kids." Barf-bag, please.
Oh, absolutely. It's sad that society sees being a Father and sticking around to raise them as such an incredibly rare and novel thing. A woman does the same thing (working 2 or 3 jobs) and she's made mistakes, is obviously a sluut and is neglecting her children because of working so much. They also rarely bring the Father into it because it was obviously her fault for choosing to procreate with a 'loser'.
But the double standard is at work. Single mom's children are viewed as a ball and chain. A single dad's children are viewed "wow, he was man enough to step up to the plate and procreate."
This is my interpretation. I've heard so many women almost coo, when talking about their single Dad boyfriend and the upcoming weekend, in that dumb sing-song manner "...and he's got his kids." Barf-bag, please.
Perhaps that's because in many communities and age-groups in this nation, many "fathers" don't bother sticking around at all, much less make an attempt at raising the kid on their own.
Oh, absolutely. It's sad that society sees being a Father and sticking around to raise them as such an incredibly rare and novel thing. A woman does the same thing (working 2 or 3 jobs) and she's made mistakes, is obviously a sluut and is neglecting her children because of working so much. They also rarely bring the Father into it because it was obviously her fault for choosing to procreate with a 'loser'.
Agreed with your first point, but you lost me on this. I've known a few deadbeat dads, and no-one praised their name.
Agreed with your first point, but you lost me on this. I've known a few deadbeat dads, and no-one praised their name.
I know a few as well, and there are many men who praised them for 'getting away while they could'. There are also support groups out there where men help each other dodge child support payments. They're given pats on the back for hiding their assets and avoiding any type of responsibility because they're 'young and don't deserve this'.
So yeah, it happens.
I don't think deadbeat dads are given nearly as much negativity as single Moms are.
50/50 sounds good, but from a practical standpoint, it can be difficult, especially for the child if the parents live in different communities and different school districts. Maybe it works out OK if the parents live near each other.
A friend just married a man who has a 50/50 custody arrangement with his ex, and they're mandated by the state to live in the same school district. Just from what she says about their arrangements, 50/50 may be fair for the parents, but it's hell on the kids. They live out of suitcases, spending a couple of nights with dad, then a couple with mom--the parents' whole non-work schedule is centered around picking them up and dropping them off. Throw in school and sports and other activities, and I feel bad for the little dudes.
All of my friends who have had children with a former wife or sweetheart are very present in their children's lives. 99/100 times, danish courts award joint custody and the father has his children come live with him on a regular schedule, agreed to by the partners.
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So now we, his family, get to pick up the slack by baby sitting my niece while he works double shifts 6 days a week to put food on the table. He's a hell of a guy.
