U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-02-2007, 09:06 PM
 
13 posts, read 844 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

I am new to this board. I was just left by my husband. I thought I was doing everything right. Even gave up my friends for him because he did not like them. (For no reason.) I am getting older and it is hard to find nice men. I can't believe I was blinded by his bull. I am also in debt now. Does anyone have any thoughts are similar situations?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-02-2007, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Missouri
5,933 posts, read 14,947,765 times
Reputation: 4561
Do whatever it takes to get rid of the debt. If he left any possessions behind, I would sell them ASAP and swear on a stack of Bibles that I had no idea where they went.
It can be hard to find a good man...but is it really necessary for you to be in a relationship? If Mr. Right comes along eventually, great. But focus on living life for yourself, following your values, renewing lost friendships and creating new ones.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-02-2007, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
8,434 posts, read 14,348,484 times
Reputation: 10661
I disagree with Christina. I believe you should amass as much cash as possible and put it someplace safe where the STBX can never find it. It's quite possible he may get the bills in a divorce. Cash is king for you right now. And don't be telling anyone you have it!

Get some good advice from people who aren't emotionally involved. You probably aren't capable of making good decisions right now. Protect yourself the best you can.

Try to remember things will get better. You will be happy again and life will go on. Don't worry about new men. Worry about getting rid of the loser who just dumped you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-02-2007, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
2,919 posts, read 7,319,036 times
Reputation: 2521
I think it's harder when you're the one who was left. Personally, I tossed mine out. He did completely clean me out of a substantial sum and all assets but didn't leave me in debt.

Sit down, take a deep breathe, and yell out "yeah for me!" and pat yourself on the back. You're rid of the bum now. Don't you realize how lucky you are?

Don't worry about getting older, you can still have fun as long as you're breathing. I did an do. Rejoin your friends, take up activities you've always wanted to, get out and see things. I've dated more men in my 50's than I ever did when younger. They're out there.

You can work on the debt, they don't shoot debtors anymore. Just put together a budget and assess your situation to see if you need to downsize, which I highly suggest. The worst part for me was filling out forms when I had to put down who to contact in an emergency, that took quite a bit of pondering.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2007, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Plano, TX
223 posts, read 544,762 times
Reputation: 154
I think you should consult a lawyer ASAP and go from there. Good luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2007, 10:43 AM
 
141 posts, read 419,327 times
Reputation: 124
Depending on what state you live in (community property or not) will really determine how much debt you will have after the divorce. In a community property state you will divorce each other but not the debt. If one files Bankruptcy, the other is left with everything, regardless of what the decree says.
I would say to hide as much cash as you can as well.
Time to reinvent yourself and take this opportunity to live YOUR life, not his!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2007, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,177 posts, read 10,198,022 times
Reputation: 1165
You don't need a good man to be happy - get your life and finances together.

Be happy with who you are before comitting to any other relationship. The best times of my life were after a divorce when I was not with anyone for nearly two years.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2007, 05:21 PM
 
13,752 posts, read 12,291,789 times
Reputation: 7830
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylor400 View Post
I think you should consult a lawyer ASAP and go from there. Good luck.
Yes, seek out legal advice, then a good professional counselor...go to a church and ask a pastor for a good counselor...not one that tells you to pray to God to fix it, but one who will actually tell you like it is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2007, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Capitan, NM
7,088 posts, read 12,028,682 times
Reputation: 3377
Pull yourself together by getting back together with your friends and have fun.
Don't worry about being in another relationship right now. That will come with time and there are a lot of people right now in your age group dating.
Above all, get out of debt and be happy he left you. He's a loser.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2007, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Missouri
5,933 posts, read 14,947,765 times
Reputation: 4561
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
I disagree with Christina. I believe you should amass as much cash as possible and put it someplace safe where the STBX can never find it. It's quite possible he may get the bills in a divorce. Cash is king for you right now. And don't be telling anyone you have it!
Much better idea, I completely agree.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top