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Old 08-02-2012, 06:38 AM
 
489 posts, read 383,227 times
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Hi all, I have a girlfriend who was telling me that she met a nice young man but she does not want to have a relationship because she thinks he is too young for her. I told her that if he is nice and mature I dont' see a problem. The way I see it there are 40 year old men who are committment phobes and very immature so if she finds a 25 year old who she likes what is wrong with that. She keeps saying he is the same age as her younger brother. I really think she is worried about what other people will think. What do you think, is a 15 year age difference a big deal?
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:40 AM
 
1,328 posts, read 2,339,135 times
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She should just have a fling or FWB with the dude and leave it at that. A relationship with a 25 year old will not work in the long run and she's just setting herself up to get hurt.
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:41 AM
 
Location: NY
8,990 posts, read 14,187,334 times
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The age difference is just a number. The telling factor is whether there is a big maturity difference or not, and whether these two in a relationship are going to be compatable from the standpoint of life goals and objectives. If that is the case, there shouldn't be a hangup with a relationship. I have known couples with a 15 year spread in ages that were very happy and content.
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
The age difference is just a number. The telling factor is whether there is a big maturity difference or not, and whether these two in a relationship are going to be compatable from the standpoint of life goals and objectives. If that is the case, there shouldn't be a hangup with a relationship. I have known couples with a 15 year spread in ages that were very happy and content.
How many involved an older woman with a guy 15 years younger, though?

I'll tell you right now that this dude will eventually stray as she gets older. She may look decent at 40, but when she turns 50 and he's only 35 (and has the option to date women as young as 25-27), he'll likely start looking for someone younger.
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:48 AM
 
5,368 posts, read 5,716,781 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
She should just have a fling or FWB with the dude and leave it at that. A relationship with a 25 year old will not work in the long run and she's just setting herself up to get hurt.
This. For the most part younger guys want older women for flings
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:53 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,227 posts, read 11,754,597 times
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I think that older men can leave just as quickly as younger men, so she should date him if she wants to.
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:02 AM
 
1,328 posts, read 2,339,135 times
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Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I think that older men can leave just as quickly as younger men, so she should date him if she wants to.
Of course she can pursue something with him, but there will likely come a time when he desires someone his own age or younger. The second she starts to slow down in the bedroom or starts losing her looks, he'll start looking elsewhere.
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Canada
8,694 posts, read 7,768,401 times
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I think she should make a decision based on how she thinks and feels and not how she will be perceived. However, a 15 year age gap is a big difference, growing up at different times, stages of life, etc.

She is likely established in home and career, where he's just starting out. She's at the end of her reproductive cycle and he's at the age where people are starting to consider long-term relationships, marriage, kids. 15 years is essentially a separate generation.

My ex-husband was 12 years older than me, and although he was young and trendy in spirit, dress, manner, he always felt like the "old guy" around my friends, because he'd 'been there and done that' with a lot of life experiences.

Love and attraction aren't enough, there has to be more there to sustain a long-term relationship, compatibility on all levels. I, at 40, would never even consider a 25 year old, but that's just me. It does work for some people.
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:08 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,876 posts, read 7,232,979 times
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I dated someone 16 years younger than me.

Based on my experience, no, the age difference doesn't make any difference whatsoever if it's the right person.

Just take a little extra time to make sure it is actually the right person before throwing everything into it.
Many younger folks are still evolving and maturing, and their wants, needs and goals can change much quicker than the older folks.
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:09 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,227 posts, read 11,754,597 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
The second she starts to slow down in the bedroom or starts losing her looks, he'll start looking elsewhere.
Yes and I'm saying that older men also do this so there are no guarantees.
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