Those of you in dating mode, how often are you seeing the same person? (how to, girl)
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I've been on a lot of first dates...online dating is tricky. You never know how many other people the person may be seeing. If I'm dating more than one person it can be awhile before I have time to see someone again. Maybe once a week or even a little longer. If I'm having 2 or 3 dates a week, seeing friends or running errands, work stuff, etc. plus I like to leave one or two nights at home to relax and clean, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. It can take awhile to get something going even if you like someone. But when you really like someone then I don't think you wait that long. You make the time.
I went out with someone last Wednesday and saw him again already on Sunday. We really clicked and I would honestly probably cancel another date or other plans to see him. If he wanted to see me every night of the week I'd be okay with that! When you meet someone you REALLY like then you can't make enough time to see them!
You see each other as often as you please and/or as often your schedule allows. Recently I dated a girl and we went on 10 dates in the first 2 weeks of meeting, some of them were day long. THe woman im dating now, we see each other once a wekk, because of the schedule conflicts. Do whatever the hell you want, there is no magic formula.
I agree with others if you are interested in someone, you make the time to see them. If I'm in a spell that is really busy and am asked to make plans for a specific day I'm not available, I will tell that person I have plans already and will suggest a time that does work for me to show that I really do want to see them.
We went on a date 1 about 3 weeks ago. She didn't follow up with "thank you I had a good time" text or call. In fact, I had to contact her to establish further communication.
I don't think you should be expecting her to text/call you to thank you for the date. Some women think that saying thanks at the end of the date is enough and they expect YOU to follow up if you're interested. Especially when they're just getting to know you.
Regarding date frequency, I prefer to have dates on weekends, so if I'm interested in a guy, I would make time for him at least once a week.
I don't think you should be expecting her to text/call you to thank you for the date. Some women think that saying thanks at the end of the date is enough and they expect YOU to follow up if you're interested. Especially when they're just getting to know you.
Regarding date frequency, I prefer to have dates on weekends, so if I'm interested in a guy, I would make time for him at least once a week.
Interesting perpective. Lately, the last few woman I had a pretty good connection with, they have texted me before I texted them. But, that is only with the few that I had a pretty good connection with. I don't think I have had a OK connection, or not so good connection with someone, and they have texted me before I contacted them. I was thinking there was a correlation there.
As far as dating frequency, I noticed a correlation there also. As others have posted, it seems if there is a good connection, and both people want to give the good connection a chance, they make time to get together.
I personnally think online dating is extremely complicating dating, but the truth is, without online dating, I would not meet woman very often. haha.
With all this online dating, or however you are meeting the people you date, how often are you dating the same person if you decide to give them a 2d or 3rd or etc. date?
For example:
I while back I knew a woman who explained their 6 man rotation to me. She dated a couple guys during the weekdays, usually first time dates. Then there would be a 2nd or 3rd date with the same guy on a Friday or Saturday. She would spend the other weekend evening with friends. Then a sunday lunch or dnner date with some other first time date. Sometimes a guy would wait 2 weeks for that 2nd or 3rd date.
I recently went on a couple dates with a woman. There were not fireworks by any means, but both dates were a good time. I took her out both times, and kept it a little casual, as I am learning that the first few dates with online dating need to be just that, casual.
We went on a date 1 about 3 weeks ago. She didn't follow up with "thank you I had a good time" text or call. In fact, I had to contact her to establish further communication. Then date #2 happened last friday night (a full 9 days ago). Again, we had a good time, but nothing great. And again, she didnt follow up with a text or call until Tuesday during her lunch break at work. And even that was a text, then I responded, then 10 minutes later she responds, then I responded, then 15 minutes later she responds, and so on. On Thursday I contacted her, and we talked and I set up a date for today (sunday). She seemed interested in a 3rd date, and even offered to buy me dinner since I had won the game of mini golf we played on date #2.
She basically flakes out on the date today. I texted her around 2pm, and just said "hi, looks like we won't be meeting up today." She responds with "yea, sorry, the weekend went by quick for me."
IMO, she wasn't very interested, cause if she was, she would have texted or called me more then the 2 or three times total. I am OK with this. I pretty much have my mind made up that although she said she was interested, and we made plans, her actions didn't match her words. I texted her back saying it didn't seem like she had much time for dating, and I wished her well.
How many of you that are just dating are on a schedule like this? I tend to think that if you are sincerely interested in someone, you will put in more effort and energy into seeing that person again. Or, has dating become THIS casual? Or is this more of a trend more exclusive to online dating?
This scenario and others are hard to pin point as to what is actually the “norm” since everyone is different, thinks differently, has life going on that differs from person to person.
All I can supply is my opinion and how I behave in these situations and perhaps respond in the name of close friends that also do the online thing, I would like to state that I have been online dating free for over 1.5 years.
When I was participating yes there were times when I did have 2 dates in one weekend ( I never do weekday dates, I work too much and have a son)
If I had a first date and went well, the guy was nice, respectful, and so forth but there were no sparks I always stated thank you and I was on my way.
I am never the type to text first or call first so keep that in mind, someone women do NOT do this.
If the guy text me about another date or small talk I would think about it and decide whether or not to give it another try.( Sometimes it takes one or 2 dates).
If I was not interested after the second date and the guy stated he wanted more I would be honest.
Then there are some dates where you meet a guy and you know that you want this to go somewhere and any text is returned and a dialogue is created. Like I stated there are some women that will not initiate texts or calls but rather wait for the man to make contact.
I am like this, I want to make sure the guy is interested and I am not throwing myself at them and if they text or call after I get home from a date with them? I know he likes me. And I will respond asap.
If he does not? I am thinking he is not really interested in me and I start responding to other’s request to take me out.
No sense in crying over spilled milk, there is always someone out there for someone.
I thought what she did was rude though. I feel if a date is arranged and one does not “really” like someone like this and something else came up with friends, family or possibly another date? This person should text or call the person out of common courtesy and state that they will not be able to make it.
That woman's schedule makes me tired just reading it.
Everyone is different. I have a hard enough finding someone I want to date, when I do, he gets all of my attention. He gets a text by the next day.
If the situation were reversed, and the man I dated treated me like the woman you were dating.... well, I wouldn't continue dating him.
I dated very little (I screen like a mo-fo before dating), but they all set-up the next date within two days. Anything much outside of that I would consider disinterest.
But I would rather have bamboo under my finger nails than date a bunch of guys I have little interest in. I'd be much happier home, reading a book.
I think that woman read the book..."The Rules"...-and is living it. She wants a man to chase her.
Personally...maybe it is my generation...but I don't like texts...it says to me, that I am not worth calling...forget it. You want a date with me...please call me.
I think if you really like someone...I focus on that person. I don't date more than one person at a time...that is too much for me.
I think that woman read the book..."The Rules"...-and is living it. She wants a man to chase her.
Between "The Rules" for women and "The System" for men, I have no idea how anyone ever gets together. Personally, I'm not interested in someone who's following written guidelines. The last guy I dated was like that. He learned rather quickly I didn't get the memo I was supposed to be sitting by the phone waiting for him to call.
I try not to follow rules but after a date I like the guy to follow up later that night or the next day. I've wasted time with guys who showed only half assed interest and I like to be sure that the guy really is interested. If/when he does follow up I always answer the phone or text back pretty fast assuming I'm interested as well. After a few dates, then I'm fine contacting him or asking him to do things first.
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