Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-12-2012, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,163,225 times
Reputation: 22276

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Yes and i made a guess, that a bad boy or a jerk would have a better chance of being more dominant in the bedroom. Do you think i was guessing wrong? Do you disagree?
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY View Post
i'm not even referring to the OP anymore. i put my opinion of that right on page 1 complete with citations of his contradictions

somehow i'm getting lumped in with him though despite about halfway agreeing with a lot of the female sentiment in this thread and providing an alternate perspective. even giving a friggen thumbs up

it's degenerated into the typical CD-relationship nonsense about nice guys versus bad boys and each gender calling each other clueless. Next!

The thing is - I AM referring to the OP. He's too mean. I wouldn't want to date someone who was too mean. And I wouldn't have high hopes in the bedroom for someone who was too mean either. Like I said - it's one thing to have someone who can take control and it's another thing to be with someone who doesn't give a crap about you. I would think that someone who is too mean would fall in the latter category. As for the rest of this stuff - I could care less. I know - you guys want to feel like you are kings in the bedroom. Well - sorry to say - no stranger on the internet can really help you out with that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-12-2012, 01:04 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,427 posts, read 3,983,480 times
Reputation: 2300
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I think women tend to assume that any touch in that area will do the trick, like, it's all good
yes this is a common mistake

and usually the most constructive and tactful way to correct is with a slight hand correction, or shifting your weight, or adding some lube to the mix, or whatever

often stopping things for a q/a will just embarrass the woman. or at least delay the mood

there's a time and place for asking, often it's not during the act
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 01:10 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,203 posts, read 107,859,557 times
Reputation: 116113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Ruth, we may disagree often, but i like and respect you. Do you see the irony in the bolded part? Do you realize that if men did not go around propositioning women our civilization would cease to exist?
um...misunderstanding, maybe? I meant, propositioning strangers, or near-strangers, or casual friends. (i.e. people one isn't dating, like in the OP's case) I thought women took the lead on this, anyway, via signals, at least, if not making the first move overtly. Propositioning usually isn't necessary, is it? Oh well. Never mind. I'll go back to my own planet now... :s
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 01:16 PM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,604,039 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
The thing is - I AM referring to the OP. He's too mean. I wouldn't want to date someone who was too mean. And I wouldn't have high hopes in the bedroom for someone who was too mean either. Like I said - it's one thing to have someone who can take control and it's another thing to be with someone who doesn't give a crap about you. I would think that someone who is too mean would fall in the latter category. As for the rest of this stuff - I could care less. I know - you guys want to feel like you are kings in the bedroom. Well - sorry to say - no stranger on the internet can really help you out with that.
It doesnt matter if he is too mean or too nice. The only thing that matters is sexual attraction and it's either there or it isnt. Its not like its a conscious choice or anything. "oh, he is too mean. I just wont be sexualy attracted to him then".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,163,225 times
Reputation: 22276
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
It doesnt matter if he is too mean or too nice. The only thing that matters is sexual attraction and it's either there or it isnt. Its not like its a conscious choice or anything. "oh, he is too mean. I just wont be sexualy attracted to him then".
Maybe for some people - but if I don't like someone's personality - I'm not sexually attracted to them. That's how I work.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 01:30 PM
 
2,729 posts, read 5,369,387 times
Reputation: 1785
Quote:
Originally Posted by BJones2 View Post
But she says she has feelings for me. What should i do next in order to have sex with her? Should I just be more aggressive, because obviously she is attracted to me, she just won't date me.
How about leaving her alone?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 01:38 PM
 
1,259 posts, read 1,835,746 times
Reputation: 1141
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY View Post
certainly not 100%

but neither is asking. people lie/exaggerate/are secretive all the time

as you pointed out with the thing about lube

so why the hell would i 100% rely on asking, either?

like any mature adult i use either approach (and others) as appropriate and constructive

and if i don't need to ask i don't bother
Asking, observing, AND having basic knowledge are skills required in life period to be successful at anything --be it work, sports, sex, or a relationship.

I never said 100% rely on asking questions--and to be quite honest I have a feeling you already know this. But, perhaps you truly did not read my post clearly. I incorporate asking questions (listening to others), observation, AND common knowledge to reach my maximum potential (best) in any situation. Who'da thunk you could use all three? If someone lies, that has nothing to do with me. I get a huge satisfaction out of life knowing that I put my best foot forward in whatever I do. If it's not good enough for someone else be it a boss, boyfriend, acquaintance, whatever, there is no self esteem loss or hard feelings. I walk away with the knowledge that I can't please everyone even when giving it my all. The same core lessons I will teach a child. But I am sure not going to not ask questions bc some people lie. You can never make it to the top of anything with that attitude.

Needless to say no point in going back and forth--at this point its getting to a level of needing to be right and Im not about that. Again agree to disagree. I've moved on from this discussion.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 02:44 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,203 posts, read 107,859,557 times
Reputation: 116113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
If you've got it all figured out - why are you asking our advice? I mean - if you are so irresistible that women are throwing themselves at you, even married women, then why are you spending your time asking questions on CDF?
Because they're not. They're telling him he's not bf material, while (allegedly) telling him they have "feelings" for him. I'd say, possible creeped-out feelings. Whatever.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 02:48 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,203 posts, read 107,859,557 times
Reputation: 116113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Actually - I thought it was awesome that I had slept with more people than my friends when I was younger. Then I met my husband and they were all still single so they passed me way up. I don't think I've ever been afraid of being thought of as a ****. Maybe because I know I'm not one. And even if I had slept with a lot more people - I still wouldn't have been one.
This is true. Nobody cares. And who's paying attention, anyway? Who would even know? It's not the 1950's anymore. In fact, it hasn't been the 1950's for 60 years. Society has moved on. Except for in very conservative communities, maybe, who pride themselves in keeping the 50's alive.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2012, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,163,225 times
Reputation: 22276
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This is true. Nobody cares. And who's paying attention, anyway? Who would even know? It's not the 1950's anymore. In fact, it hasn't been the 1950's for 60 years. Society has moved on. Except for in very conservative communities, maybe, who pride themselves in keeping the 50's alive.
The only people who know how many guys I've been with are my closest girlfriends and the guys I've been with. Who else would even care?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:00 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top