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The fact is, divorce rates have been dropping for decades. The current estimate is approximately 38% - certainly not the over 50% that some claim.
Now as for California, I could believe their rates are higher than the national average for sure!
Yes. But regardless of divorce rate, that should have little bearing on anyone's life. Divorce isn't contagious, so it doesn't really matter if your friends, neighbours, coworkers are divorcing, they're not in your relationship or marriage. If anything, hearing about other marriages failing should inspire you to make sure you're doing everything you can to make your relationship work.
In my extended family, there are only two divorces, me, and a cousin.
Yes. But regardless of divorce rate, that should have little bearing on anyone's life. Divorce isn't contagious, so it doesn't really matter if your friends, neighbours, coworkers are divorcing, they're not in your relationship or marriage. If anything, hearing about other marriages failing should inspire you to make sure you're doing everything you can to make your relationship work.
In my extended family, there are only two divorces, me, and a cousin.
It SHOULD, I agree.
But psychologically it just doesn't always work out that way
This is why children of divorced parents are more statistically likely to be divorced themselves later in adulthood.
So while divorce is not contagious like a disease, it does weaken the social fabric of the folks in the lives of the divorcing couple - sometimes making divorce a more viable option than it was before.
My grandparents have been married over 60 years. All eight of their children have divorced at least once. I am still married after 8 years but we have all the statistical "high risk" factors. So I guess we just have to be extra diligent to keep it together. I am not saying there aren't marriages that need ending, but I also thing EVERY marriage will end if you don't work on it.
My parents have been married for 52 years. Of my 5 sets of aunts and uncles, there's been one divorce. Of my 3 siblings, there's been one divorce. Of my 10 cousins, one divorce. So that's 21 marriages with 3 divorces, so I'd say my family has a pretty good track record. And aside from that, of all of my friends who are married, there are no divorces. And now that I think about it, every guy I've ever dated has been from an "intact" family, so I guess I must associate with statistical outliers.
But psychologically it just doesn't always work out that way
This is why children of divorced parents are more statistically likely to be divorced themselves later in adulthood.
So while divorce is not contagious like a disease, it does weaken the social fabric of the folks in the lives of the divorcing couple - sometimes making divorce a more viable option than it was before.
Painfully true. I remember a conversation I had with my mother when I was 11. It was one of the few times I had seen her since she left when I was 6. She was telling me about marriage and divorce and I said plainly. "If I ever get married I will never get divorced, it's that simple." She began to explain how that was ideal but if anything did happen it didn't mean... I cut her off "NO! I either won't marry or I won't divorce, don't tell me it's okay because it's not and I won't and I'm strong enough and that's it!"
I was angry. I still get angry when she offers me parenting advice but then I remember that those kinds of black and white attitudes usually put us right on the path we are fighting to avoid. I had to let go of that I will never statement before I could decide to stay in my marriage when it almost broke down.
The only way not to become your parents= forgive them
All interesting comments. If you read all the comments, it does seem sometimes that divorce is "contageous" Some have families in which there is little divorce. Some have families in which there is a lot of divorce. Mine is a mixture. 5 children. Total of 7 marriages and 3 divorces. But one brother got divorced twice and is now single and alone. Love the comments, thanks, hope we hear from more. However, I think the rate is higher than 38%. And if we did it by age ranges, my guess is that the trend is more divorce as you get into the younger populations, but I could be wrong. That group tends to just live together more. However, from what I've read, those who live together before they get married actually have a higher divorce rate. Anyone else???
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