Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wow, after only one night, five pages of response. Beside those preaching almost a sort of "stupidity pride" and editorial smart-ass-ness, which are of course expected defense mechanism, I do find a few, such as miu's and blazejen's, very helpful. Thank you.
Grammar is your friend. My best friend already has her PhD. There is NO WAY she would make the grammatical errors that you make in your posts. I'm sorry - but I just can't take you seriously. Oh - and she's beautiful. And she's happily married.
I'm currently in a prestigious Ph.D. program. Often, for work, I think really fast and say the most outrageous things in the room. I have done some really amazing things in life, and for the sake of not being identified, let's just say they're more than like only winning in a crochet competition or planning a 30+ people family dinner, kay? I have worked in corporate America for a decade. Eventually I went back to grad school ONLY because I could not stand stupid people in general anymore. They are just so very f*cking stupid and annoying. They drive me crazy. The thing I say in my mind multiple times a day is "ugh, don't you get it?!" I hated even the intelligence level of the top executives of the fortune 500 for which I worked. Now, I get the -1% most intelligent population at work, meaning grad school, so I feel a bit relieved. Everybody is at least reasonably smart, or they won't end up being there. However, the Men Department has been sucking for me. It seems like I intimidate all men who are either romantically interested in me, or simply thinking they are my competitors. This has been increasingly frustrating. Ladies who are like me: how do you deal?
If it matters, physically, I am hot. I am complimented regularly at work, in supermarkets, fast food restaurants, the doctor's office, wherever I go. I believe I may not be a supermodel for everyone but I'm quite sure there's absolutely nothing wrong with at least the way I look. All the problems seem to start after I converse with the men. How do you carry yourself as less intimidating?
Maybe they're not intimidated, but rather offended.
You remind me of a former coworker, not the very very sharp part, but the perspective of only seeing the world from your view, so everyone else is dumb and wrong if they don't see the world your way. Our office participated in one of those True Colours Corporate seminars which, after a series of questioning, labelled our personality type as either Blue, Green, Gold or Orange, or a blend of those. (I was a combo of blue/green/gold) You'd definitely be a green, where you see yourself as:
confident, mentally strong, logical, inventive, having high expectations, knowledgeable & enjoy my own company
I found a sample online of a Personality test in which the dominant colour is green. http://truecolorstest.com/True_Color...ent_Sample.pdf Scroll down to page 9, under communication. You may get some benefit from reading through that section because it talks about how you perceive yourself, but more importantly how others perceive you, which is a critical tool in any relationship, from family, friends, coworkers, to love interests.
I already say a lot of "I'm not an expert of [...] but I think [...]"s or "I'm not familiar with [...] but isn't [...]"s. I want to know how to further tone myself down.
HI LA.
What you're saying can be a problem. A little intellectual intercourse has to be on the menu in order to have a real relationship with someone. For those who are the most intelligent, it can be difficult to find someone who is both intellectually and physically their equal. Your complaint is definitely valid.
In addition, North America in general suffers from a strong bent of anti-intellectualism and anti-elitism.
You tick a lot of boxes for difficulties in North America especially. That having been said, I have some observations:
1) You are aggressive. This is not necessarily a bad thing and I think you'll agree that you tend to butt heads with people who disagree with you. Look at this thread. Overly aggressive women turn off most men in the same sense that overly aggressive guys turn off most women. The point of 'overly aggressive' is different, I think, for women. That's simply how it is. For some, it's a feeling of intimidation as you suggested. For others, it's simply a case where they think dating will be a constant Détente. This could prove frankly exhausting to some.
2) You classify yourself as the 1% mentally/physically. This places you in your own mind above 99% of all others. If you're eliminating 99% of all potential dates, that can reduce your dating pool considerably, especially since you've already eliminated a large portion of men already with your aggressiveness.
That said, lowering your standards is probably not the answer. Here in Knightsbridge, I have met your peers: Women who can quote and vigorously debate The Brothers Karamazov while dressed to the 9s, drinking wine in a cafe by the Thames. People like you do exist, and I almost invariably see them with dates.
Most of them happen to be Russian, I won't deny, and in Knightsbridge specifically husband-hunting, but I don't deny they exist.
I suspect this is simply a case of culture. LA is very different to New York, which is very different to London. You may simply be the victim of being an Alpha personality in a very laid-back culture: The people who are your equal are competing and naturally set up to be your rival.
Wow, after only one night, five pages of response. Beside those preaching almost a sort of "stupidity pride" and editorial smart-ass-ness, which are of course expected defense mechanism, I do find a few, such as miu's and blazejen's, very helpful. Thank you.
No "defense mechanism" here, just a little comment to say: from what I've seen of your posts so far, you really don't strike me as being any more intelligent than anyone else....sorry...I think you could possibly have more luck with men if you quit judging them by your [intelligence scale]. Intelligence doesn't just mean having PHDs and extra schooling under your belt, it also means (and this is a BIG part of it) that you embrace compassion, tolerance, and kindness towards others...perhaps you're pre-judging some men, and by doing so, you're not allowing yourself to see the morally good man inside.
Wow, after only one night, five pages of response. Beside those preaching almost a sort of "stupidity pride" and editorial smart-ass-ness, which are of course expected defense mechanism, I do find a few, such as miu's and blazejen's, very helpful. Thank you.
The above is almost fascinating in the narrow scope of its single-mindedness.
"...expected defense mechanism(sic)..."
"...stupidity pride..." <== (a truly stunning display of condescension and failed recognition, this is easily my favorite part thus far)
I suspect the OP is on the autism spectrum, with the attendant inability to read social cues or practice empathy. I hope one day she humbles herself to get professional help with understanding and forming human relationships.
I suspect the OP is on the autism spectrum, with the attendant inability to read social cues or practice empathy. I hope one day she humbles herself to get professional help with understanding and forming human relationships.
If you actually believe that, maybe you should get some professional help in practicing empathy. Autism is not arrogance and the relevant "lacks" are not related to humility.
I suspect the OP is on the autism spectrum, with the attendant inability to read social cues or practice empathy.
this was also my first thought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen
If you actually believe that, maybe you should get some professional help in practicing empathy. Autism is not arrogance and the relevant "lacks" are not related to humility.
OP is obviously lacking in social skills, to put it mildly. I don't think it is a stretch to suspect she's 'on the spectrum.' You don't need to be an M.D. to identify the symptoms.
OP is obviously lacking in social skills, to say the least. I don't think it is a stretch to say she's probably 'on the spectrum.' You don't need to be an M.D. to identify the symptoms.
Well, a spectrum is just that. And we could all identify ourselves on a spectrum. Anyway, my point there is not whether she has aspergers or is autistic, rather that the lack of social skills displayed by those who have aspergers or autism is not caused by arrogance. It is a real inability to read social cues. I have no idea if the OP has asperger's and wouldn't give an opinion based on a few limited posts on a forum. That, to me, would be a bit presumptuous.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Overly aggressive women turn off most men in the same sense that overly aggressive guys turn off most women. The point of 'overly aggressive' is different, I think, for women. That's simply how it is. For some, it's a feeling of intimidation as you suggested. For others, it's simply a case where they think dating will be a constant Détente. This could prove frankly exhausting to some.
