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Old 08-17-2012, 12:09 AM
 
78 posts, read 254,763 times
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I moved in with a guy for the first time half a year ago and while it's great to cuddle every night and have meals together regularly, it is frustrating all the time to try to keep a clean house with him leaving a mess every day and too busy to clean it up right away. I've pretty much given up on maintaining anything more than a baseline cleanliness (especially because he has a husky who sheds a few cups of fur a day). Also it seems like living apart would make dates more fun and date-like, and generally make the heart grow fonder for time spent with one another.

Do you have any personal experience with this matter?
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Old 08-17-2012, 04:40 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,655,987 times
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It sounds like the two of you need to sit down and talk about helping each other out with the housework, etc. It seems there is never enough hours in the day, but it seems to work out best, if everyone pitches in, to help.
I don`t think I would care for the idea of living separately.
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Old 08-17-2012, 04:47 AM
 
936 posts, read 2,060,440 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by berrycurious View Post
I moved in with a guy for the first time half a year ago and while it's great to cuddle every night and have meals together regularly, it is frustrating all the time to try to keep a clean house with him leaving a mess every day and too busy to clean it up right away. I've pretty much given up on maintaining anything more than a baseline cleanliness (especially because he has a husky who sheds a few cups of fur a day). Also it seems like living apart would make dates more fun and date-like, and generally make the heart grow fonder for time spent with one another.

Do you have any personal experience with this matter?
Are you asking whether couples who live separately are happier than other couples who live together, or the same couples if they lived together? Because I think it makes a big difference. There are some people who just can't share their space. There are couples who just can share their space, just not with each other.

Six months isn't a long time to have been living together. What have the two of you done so far to work out these problems? That is, how have the negotiations between you been?
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Old 08-17-2012, 05:01 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,395 posts, read 24,438,947 times
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You're not married. You can move out. That's one of the benefits of living together.
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Old 08-17-2012, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,466,473 times
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I was much happier when I separated from and lived separately from my ex! That would not work for my current relationship as we love being together as much as possible, and there are no issues that interfere with that.
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Old 08-17-2012, 07:10 AM
 
37,593 posts, read 45,950,883 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RockJock1729 View Post
Are you asking whether couples who live separately are happier than other couples who live together, or the same couples if they lived together? Because I think it makes a big difference. There are some people who just can't share their space. There are couples who just can share their space, just not with each other.

Six months isn't a long time to have been living together. What have the two of you done so far to work out these problems? That is, how have the negotiations between you been?
This.
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Old 08-17-2012, 07:16 AM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,063,317 times
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It depends on the couple involved I would think.

My aunt and uncle lived seperately for a while and that worked well for them. My mother and aunts used to joke that it would solve a lot of their issues with spouses as well.

Honestly, I wouldn't mind my own place either but I'm pretty sure he'd be highly insulted if I said "hey dear, how about we live apart". He travels a lot so it's a good compromise.
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Old 08-17-2012, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,254 posts, read 64,332,595 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by berrycurious View Post
I moved in with a guy for the first time half a year ago and while it's great to cuddle every night and have meals together regularly, it is frustrating all the time to try to keep a clean house with him leaving a mess every day and too busy to clean it up right away. I've pretty much given up on maintaining anything more than a baseline cleanliness (especially because he has a husky who sheds a few cups of fur a day). Also it seems like living apart would make dates more fun and date-like, and generally make the heart grow fonder for time spent with one another.

Do you have any personal experience with this matter?
I think couples who are selfish (like the mess-leaving cretins I keep hearing about) are better off living apart, yes...

Keeping a house not disgusting/messy is as easy as spending a few seconds cleaning up as you go.
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Old 08-17-2012, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,617,448 times
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I think having separate bedrooms saved my parents marriage. Not quite living separately, but they both have their own spaces, decorated to their own tastes (my Dad's room looks like a hunting lodge, with camo bedsheets and whatnot, while my Mom's room is all girly and cute) and they can escape to their own area whenever they want. Plus, my Dad snores like a freight train and my Mom kicks violently in her sleep. Not a good combo.

Me and my Ex had a 3 bedroom house and each had our own rooms and shared a bedroom. I think I slept in my room more than I did in our shared room. I can't be touched while sleeping and he was a toucher....not a good combo. I could definitely see living in separate rooms, but I think I'd have a hard time living in different houses.
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Old 08-17-2012, 07:25 AM
 
Location: USA
1,818 posts, read 2,684,301 times
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I've always (sorta) joked that the perfect relationship would be to own a duplex together and we each get our own side and have a connecting door in the middle. I think too much familarity is not a good thing, we all need some alone time now and then.
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