Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Women are very strange creatures. Talk about sending out mixed signals sheesh!
As a female I want to be annoyed by your comment but ya know you have a point. If your not comfortable with any level of intimacy you need to let the other party know. Gads poor guy. She obviously didn't push him away. I think she's just not into him or she's with someone else and seeing if theres a better fit out there.
Generally, no. I don't enjoy kissing someone I barely know.
Yea generally no, I don't either. But if the guy an I have been chatting a while and the first date hits off well-- i have no problem kissing. I mean I would not use tongue, but I have no problem giving a very long kiss on the lips--with a few more pecks following afterwards. The one guy I did this with--he and I had serious chemistry. We ended up dating for 3 years.
As a female I want to be annoyed by your comment but ya know you have a point. If your not comfortable with any level of intimacy you need to let the other party know. Gads poor guy. She obviously didn't push him away. I think she's just not into him or she's with someone else and seeing if theres a better fit out there.
Ah I meant no disrespect. I love women, but sometimes you just can't win
After taking a leave of absence, I made my foray back into online dating. I chatted with a woman for a few days, and Friday we went out. We started out at the coffee shop at the Barnes and Noble chatting, then we went and played mini-golf afterward. We had a great time, but we began kissing about halfway through the game. We had to stand under an umbrella as we waited for some rain to pass, and she mentioned she never made out in the rain, so I took her hand, and we stood on the green as we kissed in the rain. She had to go home afterwards, and we kissed goodnight.
We talked a little yesterday, and she seemed a little aloof. Today she texted me and said she had fun the other night, but it's moving too fast for her. She says she's never kissed on the first date before and she doesn't know how she feels about what happened. She ended it by saying she doesn't want to be hurtful and that I'm a really nice guy, but she doesn't know how she feels about all this. I texted her back saying that the last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable, but that I like her and that I want to see where things go. I asked her for another chance, but she has not said anything.
I figure I'll give her a couple days to mull things over before I try her again. When I do try again, what should I say? I like this girl in that I see potential for a relationship with her, and unlike the others I'm not about to give up on her. Any pearls of wisdom you can give me would be fully appreciated.
Tell her you agree, that you are happy to go back to square one and take things slower. Explain that her stating that she'd never been kissed in the rain was what made you attempt that....that you too generally take things slow. If she believes you it may be what she needs to reassure her that you are not moving any faster than she will want in the future. Maybe she has been hurt. Maybe she moved to fast before and is attempting to change that. Maybe she liked you...and it is scarey for her. Could be baggage...who knows. Maybe she has had some bad experiences...
If you get the chance, promise (and mean it) that you will follow her lead regarding future signs of affection. If it is her issues, that may make her more comfortable. Good luck.
As a female I want to be annoyed by your comment but ya know you have a point. If your not comfortable with any level of intimacy you need to let the other party know. Gads poor guy. She obviously didn't push him away. I think she's just not into him or she's with someone else and seeing if theres a better fit out there.
I'm comfortable with intimacy, but sometimes the feeling that I get from being physical with someone can overwhelm me (ie, I really really like him).
Yea generally no, I don't either. But if the guy an I have been chatting a while and the first date hits off well-- i have no problem kissing. I mean I would not use tongue, but I have no problem giving a very long kiss on the lips--with a few more pecks following afterwards. The one guy I did this with--he and I had serious chemistry. We ended up dating for 3 years.
"Chatting" gets me nowhere with a person. I need time with them, before I feel comfortable enough to have that desire. Occasionally, if I have spent enough time with the person, before that first official "date", then lips can lock (and even more!). But it is a rare occurrence for me.
Sometimes people get caught up in the moment, and then regret their actions later. Clearly she wishes that she had exercised more restraint, so now she feels awkward. Give her a call and let her know that you have no intention of doing anything that she is not comfortable with. Tell her that you will back up as far as she needs. You need to reassure her that you are very content to take it as slow as she needs, because you are seriously interested in getting to know her better.
This is pretty good. I'd wait a little longer, give her a little more time. Then text her something like, "Can we start over from scratch? We can go slowly. I enjoy your company. Can we discuss?" Depending on the response, give her a call.
"Chatting" gets me nowhere with a person. I need time with them, before I feel comfortable enough to have that desire. Occasionally, if I have spent enough time with the person, before that first official "date", then lips can lock (and even more!). But it is a rare occurrence for me.
Guess everyone is different. Anyhow, lol back to the original post. Don't want to hijack!
Yeah, I agree you did nothing wrong. She's young - she probably got caught up in the moment and now feels a little embarrassed. Back off a bit, tell her you're fine with turning back the clock and following her lead. Let her know she's in the driver's seat. If she doesn't respond to that, then she's just not feeling it and her embarrassment stems from feeling like she led you on.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
