My ex-girlfriend of seven years just left me for her POS ex-husband (dates, man)

[MainStreet]

Get her fired and guess what?, she gets an even better job...

Have you ever thought that it is revenge enough that she is going back to the loser with no money and a mobile home? Buddy...you missed a bullet...get over her, it will take time, always does.

The best revenge is living well. You'll feel much better a few months from now.

Why people can't get over people who don't want to be with them?..it's not a reflection of you...it's a reflection of them.

If you love her, you'll care that she and her kids are safe, secure and happy. That's not your fault if they aren't...you can only keep them in your good thoughts.

[redshadlizard]

Thanks to you all. It seems better to get advice from stangers. God knows I need it. This has devastated me. I'm, not a pu--y, but it makes me cry. I want to be back on top. I raised those kids and Jordan called me tonight since I've posted. He is scared to death of his sperm-donor, "father", and said they are in my bed as I write this. I hate these people. They have desroyed my life and do not care about their children. I don't know what to do.

[Hawkeye48]

Originally Posted by redshadlizard

Thanks for the reply. I have invested so much time and money on her and her kids love me. Her son is 15 now and hates that SOB. Ex lives in mobile home in south MS and has not had a job since I've known him. His mother died in '06 and left him about 100 grand. I know for a fact that he is almost broke and did this to secure his spot in her house. He is a con-man but is uneducated and not a good one. I really love Rebecca, but I have left drunk voicemails and emails and she has it all on tape. She is a a pot head and has a good state job. I could get her fired today. I am so tempted but I will be arrested for harrasment. It's a 1000 dollar fine and I can't be fired. She can't pass a drug test and I caught her accessing my email account from a State Office which is against the law, even if it was on her personal pc, it's illeagal. Should I put the screws to her?

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, just remember time heals all wounds, and in the end you will be stronger for it.

But on a more serious note, there's a lot of trust that's built up over seven years, and you need to protect yourself. If she's accessing your e-mail accounts, change your passwords on everything. Computer log on passwords, e-mail passwords, change everything. Do this at home and on your work computer if she knows those passwords. In fact go back and see if she deleted any of your e-mails. She may have written you an e-mail then went back in and deleted it. If she lived with you change all your locks. If she had a debt card or is on any of your bank accounts get her name off immediately. Even if she doesn't, if she knows your debit card passcode that could even be a potential problem. The same with all your utilities, car insurance and everything else, make sure they are all in your name and she's off.

Then just swear off women for a while. Start going out with the guys again, go to a football game, bowling or whatever. Just keep busy. I would suggest going out and getting good and drunk but it sounds like you already did that.

[JeepGirl118]

I regret to hear of this - however, there are two upsides to this. The first upside of this is that you did not spend any money on a ring for her. Second is that she did not cheat on you with him in 'your' bed.

I'm going to give you some advice that Mr Jeep gave an old buddy of his a few years ago - "The best way to get over someone is to get undereath somebody else." It may not be the cure all - and I am not telling you to go roll around with everyone and their Mother - but it will help you fake it 'til you make it to get some confidence back and to realize women's attraction to you again. Get out there - date - go have some no-strings attached fun! No one has destroyed your life - but you can destroy your own life from this point on if you don't pull yourself together soon. She was ONLY PRACTICE for the RIGHT ONE....remember that.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by redshadlizard

Hello everyone. This is my first post. I ran across this site seeking info on getting over a bad break up. Any answers and support would be greatly appreciated. This is my story.

Rebecca and I were together for seven years. We had an on and off kinda thing but always worked things out. New Years Eve would be our seventh anniversary and I was going to propose. Aug 31, she took her two kids to her ex-husband's to go dove hunting. I have always trusted her and she never let me down. She got drunk and they slept together. She came back and told me that it was over between us. I have always been friends with him for the kids' sake. I raised her kids since they were 5 and 7. He wouldn't pay child support and she had him arrested years ago. All I have ever heard from her was what a sorry person he was. It's been five weeks and i am beside myself. The initial shock is over but, the pain is unimaginable. I guess my question is, how do I get over this and should I try to get her back? She is bi-polar, but I know how to deal with her and I love her more than anything in this world. Any answers? I'm hurting and I die a little everyday.

You need to try to stop thinking about her for right now and try to do something for yourself. I know how hard it is.

If you can, go get a hotel room for the weekend. Get one with a jacuzzi and if you have a laptop, an internet connection. Let the water carry your pain away. Go to the mall, do some shopping /. browsing, enjoy the women you see. Maybe go out for a drink at a bar you'd never go to.

The bright side is that you found out now. You may need to find a counselor, who knows she may be back when he realizes again that he can't live with her bi-polar moods. You need to make sure you know if you will take her back or not and hopefully a good counselor will help you figure that out too.

I've been burned before with cheating and do know one thing, I would never give them the chance to cheat on me again. Since you still love her and by the sound of your post, you sound like you might consider taking her back; give yourself time to heal & think about things before you do.

Originally Posted by redshadlizard

Thanks for the reply. I have invested so much time and money on her and her kids love me. Her son is 15 now and hates that SOB. Ex lives in mobile home in south MS and has not had a job since I've known him. His mother died in '06 and left him about 100 grand. I know for a fact that he is almost broke and did this to secure his spot in her house. He is a con-man but is uneducated and not a good one. I really love Rebecca, but I have left drunk voicemails and emails and she has it all on tape. She is a a pot head and has a good state job. I could get her fired today. I am so tempted but I will be arrested for harrasment. It's a 1000 dollar fine and I can't be fired. She can't pass a drug test and I caught her accessing my email account from a State Office which is against the law, even if it was on her personal pc, it's illeagal. Should I put the screws to her?

No. Change the password to your email, then get a new email account for now so you don't have to check it. Stop calling her.

[Rance]

Get her drunk and sleep with her. You could very well win her back. Until the next guy gets her drunk. Dude this is easy. Fugetaboutit!

[Huckleberry3911948]

Originally Posted by redshadlizard

Hello everyone. This is my first post. I ran across this site seeking info on getting over a bad break up. Any answers and support would be greatly appreciated. This is my story.

Rebecca and I were together for seven years. We had an on and off kinda thing but always worked things out. New Years Eve would be our seventh anniversary and I was going to propose. Aug 31, she took her two kids to her ex-husband's to go dove hunting. I have always trusted her and she never let me down. She got drunk and they slept together. She came back and told me that it was over between us. I have always been friends with him for the kids' sake. I raised her kids since they were 5 and 7. He wouldn't pay child support and she had him arrested years ago. All I have ever heard from her was what a sorry person he was. It's been five weeks and i am beside myself. The initial shock is over but, the pain is unimaginable. I guess my question is, how do I get over this and should I try to get her back? She is bi-polar, but I know how to deal with her and I love her more than anything in this world. Any answers? I'm hurting and I die a little everyday.

solicted advise. been there done that. get a counselor for yourself not her. find out if you are codependent. if you are and counselor directs you
do coda meetings like your life depended on it.
be glad
you dont have aids
be glad
you did not have kids with her
bipolarism requires lots of understanding, the person is crazy part of the time.
aids is a major concern.
aids shows on a blood test 90 days after exposure.
bipolars do not like to take meds.
hope that helps
stephen s
san diego ca

[Travel'r]

Originally Posted by redshadlizard

I raised those kids and Jordan called me tonight since I've posted. He is scared to death of his sperm-donor, "father", and said they are in my bed as I write this.

In your bed? Aren't they in his trailer? This is they type who will come running back when the guy messes up again. Hopefully, you will only still be in touch with the kids, and will have met somebody else sooner than later.

[Rance]

Don't tell me the ex is hangin in your house! Were gonna need Jerry Springers phone number asap.

[redshadlizard]

Thanks Travel'r,
My furniture and stuff are still at her house. I can't get it until next Saturday. I bought that big bed for us. Not him. She has lost her mind again because I am not around to keep her straight and on her medicine. I am so overwhelmed. This is just so frustrating.