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Yes it happened to me one time in Sports Authority. I was with my brother and this was many years ago. There was this older very good looking guy that we caught eyes and it was like lightning had struck me. I was like WTF??? We couldn't stop staring at each other. I remember leaving the store and the guy came outside and I turned and saw him. I should have turned back around and been like "are you feeling it too??" I regret that very much so that I didn't make a move on that
But even with this natural attraction you seem to have with this person, you deny this feeling. You deny this feeling because what would your friends say? The person is on the heavy side, or on the thin side. Maybe the person is a little short, or even a little too tall. Maybe the person's job isn't fascinating, or they don't make that much money. My goodness, what would your parents say? OK, so they are not attractive in the true sense of the word, but somehow, you are attracted to them. What would people think of me?
We talk ourselves out of this natural attraction as we try and conform with society. And you talk yourself out of even thinking about it. Then you say to yourself, "how could I even think this"? And yes, you move on. You deny yourself this and you have no idea what you have just passed by.
I met a women 6yrs ago while my GF and I were temporarily in a long distance relationship. I haven't seen this women since. There were intense emotions on both ends but at the time we were both involved with others and we also both lived in different countrie so we did nothing. Basically both of us were too insecure to believe the other person loved us enough and would stay with us so he remained in our respective "safe" relationships. The feelings NEVER faded let alone went away. From the moment I woke up till the moment I fell asleep I felt her presence yet this was completely different from obsessive thoughts that actively occupy your mind. This was more of a presence like someone sitting next to you in a car yet not actively talking to you. Before I got married I contacted this women to tell her how I felt so that I could get married without having regrets (was hoping for the NO I don't feel anything for you). She gave me what I wanted. She denied having feelings for me still and told me that she never loved me and that she just enjoyed the attention. 3 months later with no contact and the week before my wedding she emailed me telling me she still had feelings for me but didn't want to tell me because she knew I was engaged and loved my finance (basing that on the fact I refused to leave this women in the past for her). Well I got married since it was too big of a decision to deal with the week of my wedding and realized I made a mistake they day I got married. She actually txt'ed me 10min before my vows with "Are you married yet".....I returned from my honeymoon and told my wife I'm in love with a women I cheated with 6yrs ago. We than separated and proceeding with divorce and I"m not even with this other women. After I got married she took that as a sign we weren't meant to be since "true love wouldn't marry someone else". So your fear was my reality. I feared that I'd get married and have children and THAN she'd come forward and tell me she's still felt the same after all these years. When she confirmed that there was something still there on her end I knew that fear was a reality. Now I sit by and wonder if she'll still be running after my divorce if finalized.
I totally feel your pain. Know your not alone aching for what you can't have. BUT it can get a little better. I've met a nice kind better looking guy. Almost there just not that 100%
I've been with 136 women ... Most of those women I was "with" for weeks/months. My wife I was with for 14yrs
Quote:
Originally Posted by twinsoul
I met a women 6yrs ago
...
at the time we were both involved with others and we also both lived in different countrie so we did nothing
...
I returned from my honeymoon and told my wife I'm in love with a women I cheated with 6yrs ago.
que?
which is it? 14 years or broke up after honeymoon? or two ex wives? dated for 14 years but only married for the honeymoon?
I remember that thread! I wondered what happened to that OP
But that's not you, so did you just post the link as an example of this kind of thing happening?
yeah not me....i was 3months from being married to a women i had been with for 13 (lol at that #) years yet had confliction in my heart. So i was searching everything to try and figure out why i could still be in love with someone that i never really had a relationship with and hadn't seen in 6yrs. Thing my google search started with "about to get married still in love with someone from the past"....that eventually brought up that link i posed. Even after reading through all those pages I had no answer so I kept looking. Finally hit a similar post where someone suggested just "soul mate". I always thought a soul mate was just 1 person, the movie version of true love. I googled it and found my answers and came back and registered JUST to give the other "option" since i knew there would be others like me that would find that thread looking for answers.
Yes it happened to me one time in Sports Authority. I was with my brother and this was many years ago. There was this older very good looking guy that we caught eyes and it was like lightning had struck me. I was like WTF??? We couldn't stop staring at each other. I remember leaving the store and the guy came outside and I turned and saw him. I should have turned back around and been like "are you feeling it too??" I regret that very much so that I didn't make a move on that
you should have acted on your homosexual instincts. You know what the studies say right? Those who joke about homosexuality are normally in the closest.
I totally feel your pain. Know your not alone aching for what you can't have. BUT it can get a little better. I've met a nice kind better looking guy. Almost there just not that 100%
I"m hoping the 137th women will be the one....You belittle my experience with that comment
which is it? 14 years or broke up after honeymoon? or two ex wives? dated for 14 years but only married for the honeymoon?
or just spinning yarns?
either i've been unclear (too tired to read back through all my posts) or you can't do the math. The women i married I've been with for 14yrs. I met this other women BEFORE we were married 6yrs ago. We got married last year
I"m hoping the 137th women will be the one....You belittle my experience with that comment
I was speaking of my experience ; certainly with no intent to belittle you. In the end do looks count. It was sarcasm.. I truly do feel bad for those of us who love who we can't have!
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