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So on July 1 after being with my significant other for 6.5 years he meets another guy at a party and falls for him. He immediately starts seeing him behind my back and dumps me for him. He has since dumped that guy and moved on to another guy within the past week.
The problem now? We're on a lease together in a 1-BR apartment. Neither one of us makes a comfortable enough living to afford a 1-BR on our own, so we're stuck together living here both legally and financially. It's been murder being here while he cuddles with other guys in my presence, but after my request he now does not bring any new significant others around when I'm home.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation---living with the person who dumped you? If so, how did you cope? I've spent the past hour crying uncontrollably because every time I see him I'm reminded of how much of a waste the past 6.5 years of my life were. I wanted to get married. He had other plans. Now we see each other daily.
Anyone have any advice on how to make this work? Thanks!
If you enjoyed being with him, had good times together, and learned things from being with him, you shouldn't think of it as just a 'waste'.
Some people spend a couple decades or more with someone, then break up - but you cannot really consider it all a 'waste' because a lot of enjoyment was experienced, and living life together was a source of joy or happiness or great moments or a source of love....
I am sorry. That sucks. Is there any way you can live with friends for a while or someone else takes over your lease and you move into a room mate situation? This seems unbearable.
Yeah, I was going to suggest the sublet situation. Don't know if anyone would do it in a 1br, and I don't know where you'd go, but I wouldn't want to be in that mess if I were you. How much longer on the lease?
Aw, I'm so sorry that happened. BTW, it's pretty outrageous that you would have to ask him not to bring other guys to your shared home (whether or not you are there). Was he always this much of a jerk?
Aw, I'm so sorry that happened. BTW, it's pretty outrageous that you would have to ask him not to bring other guys to your shared home (whether or not you are there). Was he always this much of a jerk?
How long is left on the lease, Be glad you are rid of him, what a jerk, cuddling new people in front of you, this guy shows no class. Focus on yourself & start looking for a new place before the lease ends so you will be ready to move.
If you don't have the space in your home to keep a certain distance from each other, and if he insists on bringing his new love interests over... One of you needs to move out. You have to find a way to make that work somehow.
I'm very sorry to hear this. I stayed in the house with my ex for about a year after we broke up. I had better luck than he did dating after the breakup, but I kept my new partners away from the house. He invited any woman he was dating over, and I ended up meeting several of them. But I was less emotionally invested in our marriage than he was, so it didn't bother me (I was the one who initiated the end of the relationship.) I knew if I'd tried to bring anyone over, he would have thrown an absolute fit. So I didn't. Besides, I still cared enough about him to not want to hurt him. He on the other hand hoped I would be jealous...some people are spiteful like that I guess. I wasn't jealous, I really did not care. Still, living with an ex is not fun.
Anyways. One of you needs to leave. Figure out a way. There are ways. You need to heal, so that you can see what there is to be learned from the relationship and its ending...that is where the real value is in your experiences, and such are never really a waste. Life is a journey, not a destination, and all that.
If you don't have the space in your home to keep a certain distance from each other, and if he insists on bringing his new love interests over... One of you needs to move out. You have to find a way to make that work somehow.
I'm very sorry to hear this. I stayed in the house with my ex for about a year after we broke up. I had better luck than he did dating after the breakup, but I kept my new partners away from the house. He invited any woman he was dating over, and I ended up meeting several of them. But I was less emotionally invested in our marriage than he was, so it didn't bother me (I was the one who initiated the end of the relationship.) I knew if I'd tried to bring anyone over, he would have thrown an absolute fit. So I didn't. Besides, I still cared enough about him to not want to hurt him. He on the other hand hoped I would be jealous...some people are spiteful like that I guess. I wasn't jealous, I really did not care. Still, living with an ex is not fun.
Anyways. One of you needs to leave. Figure out a way. There are ways. You need to heal, so that you can see what there is to be learned from the relationship and its ending...that is where the real value is in your experiences, and such are never really a waste. Life is a journey, not a destination, and all that.
Best of luck.
if two make the decision to stay living together because there is no other way at the moment, it should be a given to not bring a new love interest over. Have some respect and if not, GTFO.
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