Are all rebound relationships bad for you? (dating, women, single)

[GottaBePretty]

When someone gets outta a relationship of just over a year and then goes into another relationship, is that bad for you or should you cry and pout over your last relationship and feel miserable?

[srjth]

Do whatever you want, it's totally up to you and what feels right for you. I don't think it's bad to go into another relationship right away, nor do I think it's bad to take some time to grieve. No one else can tell you what you need at the time.

[Djuna]

No they aren't. I don't know where this piece of advice came from but it has no true basis. I know when I left my last relationship, I had mentally checked out a long time before the actual physical leaving. I met my SO 5 months later and almost 8 years later, we're still going strong.

I think it depends a lot on how and why the last relationship fell apart. Maybe if you were the one who was left and you still have feelings for the other person, it may take longer to feel ready to get into another relationship again.

Many rebound relationships last though so don't let this little title stop you from doing what you think is right.

[the minx]

Originally Posted by GottaBePretty

When someone gets outta a relationship of just over a year and then goes into another relationship, is that bad for you or should you cry and pout over your last relationship and feel miserable?

Not sure why that would be bad. Just be honest with yourself and you'll figure it out.

[TaoistDude]

If you can't stop thinking, mourning, wanting revenge, or talking about the past relationship when trying to date someone else, then you're not really ready. Otherwise, you are!

[Frihed89]

Crying, pouting and rebound relationships are optional.

[FromTN2A2]

Every individual and situation is different. It really just depends. Not so black and white.

[OdysseusNY]

back in the saddle. sooner the better. just don't be stupid about it

miserable pouting isn't going to help

[MsAnnThrope]

"Rebound" relationships are part of moving on.

Moving on is a sign of healing.

All good.

[AverageGuy2006]

Originally Posted by GottaBePretty

When someone gets outta a relationship of just over a year and then goes into another relationship, is that bad for you or should you cry and pout over your last relationship and feel miserable?

IMO, everyone should do the bolded. I think it is a natural human reaction to a failed relationship. Blocking yourself from this human responce IMO is extremely unheathy.

It amazes me how many people say rebounds are 'normal' and healthy.
One poster mentioned they met their s/o 5 months after a relationship ended. I think 5 months post break up is a considerable amount of time to be single.... if you were indeed single the whole time.

I don't understand how a rebound can be anything other than a physical distraction from what is causing you grief and emotional heartache.

Can someone please explain to me how people who use rebounds actually process feelings/connections/and mistakes made from failed relationships while they are busy with the new hottie that scratches that itch they need?
Maybe I analyze things too much, but how does one improve themself/analyze failed relationship when they spend most of time with the new hottie and all the distractions that accompany a new relationship ?
For instance, I have been out of a relationship for 2 months now. It has not been an easy 2 months. I have dated a few women, but only casual dates with abosolutely no intimacy. I have spent free time reading other people's posts on this website, researching information on some of my old hobbies, and processing my previous relationship and it's failures. I want to learn from the mistakes of that relationship. How do people that rebound a lot learn from failed relationships?
I have never really ever had a rebound. The truth is, I could probably use one right now.
But, due to the side affects of my last relationship, I know deep down inside, that I am probably not ready for a genuine relationship yet.
Some people who are in simliair mental status as me may communicate those 'unavailable for LTR' feelings to potential rebound partner. But, even though you may only be scratching that itch with the rebound, there has to still be some level of attachment to the rebound partner which in turn creates a distraction from the thought process of a failed relationship.
I think of a saying

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Applying that saying to relationships IMO means this:
If you engage in a relationship, then after relationship fails, then rebound, then rebound from rebound, then engage in relationship again, then rebound, then relationship, etc, etc... Won't you keep making the same mistakes over and over again?
There is always that person who claims (especially if they are over 30), "I seem to have the worst luck dating. Why can't I just meet one nice guy/gal? " Does that person who has 'bad luck' dating ever think that just maybe, the rest of the world is NOT wrong, and maybe, just maybe, 'bad luck dater' is actually the problem?