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This is going to sound rudimentary and cheesy, but here goes:
Well, in the past I have gone out with several guys. It's now been more than one year since I broke up with the last one and while I've enjoyed the time to be by myself and everything, I'm really looking forward to stepping into another relationship. I'm wondering how I can do this? Also, it would be nice if I could make new friends. Basically, I'm asking two questions at once: I want new friends and I want a new partner.
I did go to a site called meetup so I could make new friends, however most of the clubs that involve my interest either have meetups too far away or don't have meetups at all. I know that there are two or three clubs in my area but I've looked and most of the events are just going to restaurants or going to theme parks. I wouldn't mind putting in time through them once in awhile. I looked at the demographics and most of these people are way too old for me (15+ years my senior), working adults that usually have families. They seem like a great bunch but I don't believe we have enough in common.
I joined a gym immediately after my last relationship began to disperse. However, I came to the gym with no goals and not much cash so it grew to be an expensive, repetitive outlet for me. In the past, I met everyone I knew from school or through mutual relationships.
The only suggestion I've gotten is to try to find a job and just befriend people from work (kind of hard, since I can't get hired and I'm probably going to end up doing commissions in a tiny office) and/or go take an apartment at student housing somewhere.
Ever try bowling? Shooting darts or pool? It works, I've gotten more comments and come on's than I wanted!
What part of the country are you in?
T.
I was thinking about that. Actually, I began desperately thumbing through various advice blogs and advice columns (all online now) so I could find something relating to my issue. The only problem that was even remotely similar to mine was an 18 year old girl who recently graduated HS and pretty much was in the same boat. She was then told to start taking dancing, "Because you meet a lot of other girls your own age and you have to be closer to a guy that way."
I put that I live in the 626 area code and that services a densely populated portion of Los Angeles known as San Gabriel Valley. That's why I'm pretty surprised that I can't actually find anybody. Before, I was a college student and most of those people only focus on school and work. The counselor told me that such events occur quite often, because people have different schedules and they don't come to school to socialize. Living in LA is disappointing with so many people but no one to be close to. I guess that doesn't have anything to do with it, though. I was reading articles that people end up lonely and old even in the megacities, especially out of America.
It's funny because I was talking to a relative about this awhile back and she said, "Well, just because there's all these people doesn't mean anything. You might not be able to get along with most of them. I'm not sure what to really say because all the people I knew we met in school too, and they met their SOs by chance without hoping to."
I even tried reconciling with a few people from high school and people online but they would either flake out at the last minute or stop corresponding. One of the few friends I still do have mentioned, "Unfortunately, if that's what they're doing, there's not much action you can take. People will keep canceling no matter what. It still happens. Try to talk to people and do things you wouldn't normally do."
Go to night school. A different crowd than daytime. I enjoyed art classes for some 25 years and made some great friends, and a few lovers.
I took up scuba diving and joined a couple dive clubs. Many other events with new friends, we had our powder dives (ski trips) we did wine tastings, camping trips, boat trips, bbq's with picnics.
This is going to sound rudimentary and cheesy, but here goes:
Well, in the past I have gone out with several guys. It's now been more than one year since I broke up with the last one and while I've enjoyed the time to be by myself and everything, I'm really looking forward to stepping into another relationship. I'm wondering how I can do this? .
You're wondering how you can step in to a relationship? (lol)
That question speaks volumes to your knowledge of how relationships work. There is no easy answer or "how to" instruction manual. It will happen when it happens.
You're wondering how you can step in to a relationship? (lol)
That question speaks volumes to your knowledge of how relationships work. There is no easy answer or "how to" instruction manual. It will happen when it happens.
Enjoy yourself and don't try to force it.
I'm not asking how to perform in a relationship. I'm asking how I can find one. How can I meet new people?
Don't care that it happens, you still have to meet people somewhere. That's the hard part, people don't know I'm looking for them. Not a wise thing to say.
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