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Well...but I suspect the lost pregnancy is a large cause of it. She still cries and grieves about it, yet her family glosses over it and acts like its done and over with.
She was the type who always wanted a family, and when her sister became pregnant became very envious, and pretty much lives for her nephew. She lit up when she found out about it, ..then a week later was fighting for her life when it ruptured. She's down to only one tube now, and I know that bothers her..
I think her family needs some sense kicked into them, and honestly - to be called out on abandoning her. I think they need to be confronted with - this is real, they could be burying her if they don't step up and take it serious..
Plus an open email to all of them kind of puts more pressure on them to react, vs a private phone call..
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again, If I were you..I wouldnt even involve myself in this...if she wants to have sex with the entire LA Lakers basketball team..who cares, not your problem anymore...in terms of her emotional/depression, I would maybe send the family ONE email and then leave it with them..you are not responsible for her well-being anymore she is..and as she is no longer your wife (or soon will not be) and you have no kids with her...I say good riddance, leave her to someone else to take care of...I know that sounds harsh, but it is what it is.
I have to agree with what everyone else is saying here. You need to walk away and let her live her own life in whatever way she chooses to. She's not going to listen to you anyways so why continue to live your life with added stress and misery??? Go find someone who is sane, normal and you can be happy with..GL
If someone chooses to commit suicide that is THEIR choice. Please don't feel like you have to keep being her roommate or staying in touch with her because it will be your fault if she hurts herself. You cannot take responsibility for someone else's mental well being. Only they can do that. It sounds like you've done all you can do at this point and it's time for you to move on with your life. I'd really advise against being friends too. It usually ends up being a disaster and being friends with your ex-wife will likely set up red flags to potential dates. Get out of that house and start living your life!! Her problems aren't your problems anymore! Good luck!
First of all, do the DECENT THING and MOVE OUT...I cannot believe you are still in what you admit is HER home! That is enough to send her mad, right there!!!!
You are essentially divorced.
If she chose the divorce, it means she's done with you.
If you chose the divorce, it means she's done with you.
Follow my thinking here...
You are NOT THE ONE to be saving her.
Women lose babies every day. The grieve, they get up, they move forward, without ex-husbands running things from the sidelines. The fact that she mentioned she WANTED an STD (your words) implies to me that your conversations are already wildly inappropriate and you have probably already said too much, and want OUR justification to say more.
She has already had psychiatric problems in the past (when she was still WITH you), I wonder if they were BECAUSE of your "concern" not in spite of it. Clearly you didn't help then, so why do you think you can help now?
Back off. Reading between the lines this is about CONTROL masquerading as CONCERN.
At the time of the incident, OP said his wife was NOT suicidal and that she simply was suffering from a bad mix of alcohol and medication.
I guess now the story has changed since he can use it as ammunition against her. Please do not believe anything this guy posts, he has no clarity about anything that goes on around him.
At the time of the incident, OP said his wife was NOT suicidal and that she simply was suffering from a bad mix of alcohol and medication.
I guess now the story has changed since he can use it as ammunition against her. Please do not believe anything this guy posts, he has no clarity about anything that goes on around him.
She lit up when she found out about it, ..then a week later was fighting for her life when it ruptured.
This is a lie. She found out about the pregnancy the same day as the rupture. It is right there in that thread. What is your reason/purpose for making stuff up?
At the time of the incident, OP said his wife was NOT suicidal and that she simply was suffering from a bad mix of alcohol and medication.
I guess now the story has changed since he can use it as ammunition against her. Please do not believe anything this guy posts, he has no clarity about anything that goes on around him.
Life evolves..things unfolding (particularly significant ones like this) are hard to pin down.
I wasnt there when her suicidal thing happened – but the fact remains she did make the comment before hand, did try to take the pill bottle, was taken to the er, told the doctors in the psych eval she tried to kill herself, and told the marriage counselor she did as well.
Things have changed quite a bit since that posting. When she was being released from the psych hold, starting marriage counseling, independent counseling...things were more on the upside, and i could more readily claim it as an "off" and unchacteristic event. But given whats happening now, her behavior, her comments – its taking on a different light.
Having said that – please keep attempts to "one up me" out of this thread. Given the nature, frequency, emotional background, and time span of what im posting – youre only getting fragments of the situation.
Please stay on topic with what im asking for this thread. Ive argued in the past and gone off topic, but - not on this one. Do a pm if you feel the need..
This isnt about "ammunition" either. Thats an aggravating assertion to hear, and not worth further commenting on.
Thanks for the replies so far.
Regarding the "move out asap" remarks - im aware, unfortunately saying it is easier than doing, especially when only you have been working since april, and neither of you have parents you could fall back on. She just started a full time job and will be okay once her paycheck comes in. I should be out within a month, until then we work opposite schedules..
What i was really curious about when i started the thread was whether i should send the open email to her family. Ive only spoken to certain members individually, and held some things back. Out in the open to them all, putting responsibility on them, and updating them that whatever they think they did when they said theyd "talk to her" - hasnt worked.
I talked with her the other day, even showing her pictures of babies born with herpies - and "is that really what you want to pass on to them?"
She hasnt seen anyone since then...
Theres one guy she says she really likes, ive met him, he seems to treat her as more than just a one night stand...hes coming over wednesday (im staying at a friends until friday). Im hoping she ends the one night stands with strange men and pursues him.
To the people saying were sharing too much detail with eachother (as in her admitting to not using a condom) - i guess were different, please dont dwell too much on it.
Anyway, ive decided to wait atleast a week before sending an email..hopefully she was just emotional, and after saying stupid comments...realizes they were stupid. Same with inviting anonymous men over from the internet..
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