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What I really think is, guys are afraid to really be themselves online. Like say they are big fans of Star Wars, they may not include that. They may not include their sense of humor since it may turn off some women. Online dating profiles are like your resume, you need to embellish and make it look good.
I said I would never do it again but 4+ years after we broke up I did for 5+ months and I hated it. I won't be going back and this time I mean it. I found the whole process not fun at all and it was more like looking for employment.
I'd rather be lonely than deal with that type of game playing. If I ever happen to meet someone it will be by accident or it won't happen at all. No big deal.
LOL, I met my ex at college and it ended very badly!
I don't unnecessarily limit my options. I mean, I guess I could have said, "That's it - meeting people in real life doesn't work, and I hate it. So I won't do it anymore!" But...that would have been "unnecessarily limiting my options."
I prefer to use common sense and keep an open mind. Every potential mate, regardless of the initial meeting place, has to be vetted after all.
What I really think is, guys are afraid to really be themselves online. Like say they are big fans of Star Wars, they may not include that. They may not include their sense of humor since it may turn off some women. Online dating profiles are like your resume, you need to embellish and make it look good.
I learned the hard way that being yourself online doesn't cut it. But I wasn't going to lie & tell someone I'm something I'm not. I guess I don't see the point in it. Of course I guess it might depend on the age group your looking for as well. I was more the willing for someone to notice me for me & so far it's paying off.
LOL, I met my ex at college and it ended very badly!
I don't unnecessarily limit my options. I mean, I guess I could have said, "That's it - meeting people in real life doesn't work, and I hate it. So I won't do it anymore!" But...that would have been "unnecessarily limiting my options."
I prefer to use common sense and keep an open mind. Every potential mate, regardless of the initial meeting place, has to be vetted after all.
Point taken.
Maybe I just suck at it. I did make the effort and did not enjoy it. Oh well...
What I really think is, guys are afraid to really be themselves online. Like say they are big fans of Star Wars, they may not include that. They may not include their sense of humor since it may turn off some women. Online dating profiles are like your resume, you need to embellish and make it look good.
And if you don't put what your true likes are, you might miss out on a woman who has that in common with you. I put my real interests in my profile (Sci Fi, Star Wars, my odd obsession with Nikola Tesla, going to Maker Fair, going to Star Trek conventions, playing board games/video games etc.) because I WANT to find someone who has that in common with me.
Sure, I may get waaaaay less messages than if I omitted those things, but why would I want to waste my time on people who I probably don't have much in common with?
And if you don't put what your true likes are, you might miss out on a woman who has that in common with you. I put my real interests in my profile (Sci Fi, Star Wars, my odd obsession with Nikola Tesla, going to Maker Fair, going to Star Trek conventions, playing board games/video games etc.) because I WANT to find someone who has that in common with me.
Sure, I may get waaaaay less messages than if I omitted those things, but why would I want to waste my time on people who I probably don't have much in common with?
Good point. I've done that as well but there's always that random who will BS and wants to keep trying anyway. For example, I had one guy who thought he was an A kid attending a prestigious college with lots of friends. From his interests, you'd think he was just an athletic shopper who happened to like video games, plants, and math. But when I spoke to him, he was needy and mentioned a bunch of random unrelated stuff for hours in emails.
He would keep messaging me and saying, "Hey, do you have any new photographs?" He acted like he was my father or something by the way he talked. He wrote comments and deleted them. Make up your mind, dude. Then he would constantly flip out about not comprehending something but then still keep talking to me. Nothing makes sense... which is why you should of shut up.
He even called the house at two in the morning when I blocked him on FB some two months following the event. Then he didn't have the guts to go through with it and hung up before we could get to him. Just to annoy us, eh?
Granted, we were both still quite young at the time (he was only one year older than I and had just graduated HS) which was awhile back. I've pretty much been turned off since. Don't say it's a photograph thing, either. Those pics depicted him as being geeky, slim, and athletic. I don't know why it is that people don't understand things.
LOL, I met my ex at college and it ended very badly!
I don't unnecessarily limit my options. I mean, I guess I could have said, "That's it - meeting people in real life doesn't work, and I hate it. So I won't do it anymore!" But...that would have been "unnecessarily limiting my options."
I prefer to use common sense and keep an open mind. Every potential mate, regardless of the initial meeting place, has to be vetted after all.
That's true, because not everyone is the same way. To just shut the door after one bad incident would be giving up. Also, not fair to the rest of the comm who does want to see you.
If you had a row of consecutive bad experiences, though, I think it's time to call it quits. Six creepers in a row means time to get face-to-face actions.
Haha I have been on the dating scene and single for 1 year now and trust me I have had my share of bad dates and guys who just played games it sucks but it gets better and that special someone will turn up sooner or later.
That's true, because not everyone is the same way. To just shut the door after one bad incident would be giving up. Also, not fair to the rest of the comm who does want to see you.
If you had a row of consecutive bad experiences, though, I think it's time to call it quits. Six creepers in a row means time to get face-to-face actions.
LOL, I don't know what the cutoff would be for me.
I dated probably 20 men in less than a year on match.com. I only married one of them - the rest were "eliminated" for one reason or another - either after the first date or after just a few days. I don't know how many "creepers" I dated because I cut my losses early when I got the vibe that "hey, this is not going to work." In other words, before either of us had much emotion or time invested in the relationship.
Without knowing too many of the men I dated very well, I would say that probably a third of them were "creepers" (and by that I mean men who were not leveling with me, or had misrepresented themselves, or who got weird on me mid date). Another third were guys who I realized after meeting them in person were probably nice enough guys but after getting to know them better, some deal breaker came up. And the last third were truly nice men, who for whatever reason just didn't spark a lot of interest or get any chemistry going.
And then there was THE ONE. And all the creepers and misfits and boring guys just faded from my memory... basically immediately!
I am feeling bad about this this morning. I forgot I still have one of my free profiles and got contacted. The men who contacted me were UGLY. I realize beauty is skin deep and all that but these guys are repulsive to me. I am not looking for George Clooney but these guys are more like George from Seinfeld (and he would be one of the better looking guys who contacted me).
It is affecting my self esteem. I am decent looking, at least I thought so, but then why am I having the ugliest men contact me? I'm talking super obese, guys with beady eyes, no teeth, mullets, etc. The average looking guys ignore me like the best looking. I get it, the best looking men are seeking much younger women because they are hot. This stinks but I accepted this. However the average men avoid me too.
There is a guy I am interested in but he's definitely on the ugly side too. I like him because he's nice but not someone I would have considered years ago. However he's definitely better looking than these guys.
I know this makes me sound superficial but I can't date a man I find repulsive and that's all I find on these sites.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
Nah...I don't think you're shallow. I kind of feel the same way sometimes and I'm sure I'll get blasted by saying this but yeah, sometimes I get contacted by men that there is no way I would ever go out with them. We just aren't really in the same league (yep totally said it haha), or guys that have kids or guys that are way too old for me...just part of it. I've tried e-mailing a few guys first in the last couple days and none of them have replied. It's hard not to take it personally or think omg what's wrong with me that these guys aren't replying but who knows why. According to CD guys women e-mailing guys first is a rarity, so I thought guys would be happy to see the woman make the first move...maybe not. My experience with online dating has been feast or famine. I have a lot of interest, or nothing. Remember, again don't take anything that happens online personally. I've been flaked on so many times I almost have zero expectations at this point.
So you two ladies are average looking women or even below average, looking for above average looking guys aka attractive, I guess looking for that makes you happy and boost your ego or self worth, I hope guys like that can make you happy when it comes to finances. I know of a woman who is dating an attractive guy but he has nothing going for himself, however he is a very extremely good looking guy, sadly she wanted to give him the boot because of money, if he did not even find a job, even if he seeking employment at Mcdonalds she would have to leave him unless some one hired him. Its either you want happiness in worshipping looks or happiness in improving and trying to build up your life.
As for most online dating sights interest dont matter its all about looks.
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And all the creepers and misfits and boring guys just faded from my memory... basically immediately!
