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The point is, we had a plan/date to do an activity at a certain time. Something actually healthy
and something that takes some planning and preparation.
I'm not concerned so much when she does it when we don't have plans!
I'd be annoyed if you have plans and she breaks it. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, and I wouldn't put restrictions on anything, but if it were a repeating occurance, i'd be inclined to let her know how I felt about it, and suggest that she gets *****-stinking drunk on nights OTHER than the ones before you have plans.
Either she steps up to the plate, and goes through with the plans and owns her hangover, or she does what she has to do in order to keep the plans (which is tone it back). Once you have plans, then it's in her court to keep them.
If it were me, I wouldn't want to live with the likelihood that my plans are never set. Once in a while, maybe 1x-2x a year, I might be OK, but regularly, it would not go well with me.
"Ritualistic slang expressions used on greeting and departing continued to do well in the 1940s..." "Goom bye" was one of the expressions during the 1940s, the Jive Generation. From "Flappers 2 Rappers: American Youth Slang" by Tom Dalzell (Merriam-Webster Inc., Springfield, Md., 1996
" If she ever becomes pregnant she will give the drinking away all together."
Really? How exactly do you know that? She appears to be a binge drinker, possibly well on her way to becoming an alcoholic.
Yeah whatever clown. Someone who drinks once twice every two weeks, is on their way to becoming an alcoholic? how about you save your labels for people you actually know.
Yeah whatever clown. Someone who drinks once twice every two weeks, is on their way to becoming an alcoholic? how about you save your labels for people you actually know.
The woman gets so drunk she's hung over an average of once a week.
This ruins plans for you, despite the fact that she knows it.
You talked about it and she doesn't really seem to care.
Why are you in such denial?
This early on in a relationships and she's showing her bad side doesn't bode well. Canceling plans because you have a hangover shows a definite disregard for your feelings, it's rude and in my opinion, completely intolerable. How old is she, 17? Adults simply don't do these types of things unless they have a problem, which she clearly has, it's called binge drinking.
Long story short.....had to cancel plans with the GF of a few months in the weekend, due to her being hungover.
She knows I wasn't amused about it. It is the 2nd time this has happened. ... My question is simple, if it happens again what do you think should be my next course of action?
Suggest she spend some time considering her options, and let her know you are not interested in a relationship with someone that cannot control their appetites.
I know it sounds harsh, but I once drank too much -- for all the "acceptable" reasons: bad day, too much stress, it was a party.... but over time it started getting out of control. One day, DH (then SO) explained his position to me. It was the "wake up" I needed, and I started really looking at why I drank -- and I resolved THOSE issues.
DH and I are now together 27 years and very happy. I do not drink at all and don't miss it one bit.
Doesn't sound like a big deal to me personally, but it makes for a good joke in the future. Also she owes you "one".
One - as in a free pass, day with your friends, dropping what she is doing at a moments notice to do something with you, or maybe cook you a special dinner
Don't give her a guilt trip for it or anything, but she does owe you new plans for the ones she cancelled by drinking too much, lol.
I have been a complete lush many times in my life. I have never, ever bailed out on plans with my man due to a hangover. I can't believe people think this is normal, acceptable behaviour
She appears to be a binge drinker, possibly well on her way to becoming an alcoholic.
I've been what you would class as a "binge drinker" since I was 18. Almost every weekend.
I don't drink to forget anything, I don't drink deliberately to get hammered, I don't use it to self medicate.
I do it because I enjoy it.
As do many others across the world.
Doing something a lot, and becoming addicted to it (alcoholic) are far from the same thing.
There isn't any magic formula which says that if you drink more than (...) units a night, you're an alcoholic, it's a much, much deeper issue than that.
Not all drinkers become alcoholics, not all drug takers become addicts (dependent on drug), some folks can enjoy a cigar or two, or a few cigarettes of an occasion without becoming addicted.
You seriously think, say it happens again in another few months that I should terminate the relationship?
No way I would do that, assuming everything else is ok. A stern and maybe awkward talk about it, yes.
Also its not like the plans were anything major.
Hey, if you're fine with knowing that any plans you make could take a backseat to her desire to go on a bender, then so be it. But, on a personal level, I am reliable, and I want a reliable mate.
You stated: "The point is, we had a plan/date to do an activity at a certain time. Something actually healthy and something that takes some planning and preparation."
That tells me you put in effort, and she didn't really keep that in mind. That's a red flag.
Look, I know the drinking culture where you are is a little different from the US, but you're only with this woman a few months and she's already disrupting set plans by drinking too much the night before. Those first few months, you're still on your best behavior. I'm not thinking this is likely to improve.
And yes, a person who only drinks once a week can still have a drinking problem. A drinking problem isn't so much about not being able to control when you START drinking but not being able to control when you STOP.
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