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This happens all the time. Epecially with people that i don't know so well. (online datjng, friends from 15 years ago)
Dont take it personnally.
But I question, you are datin a guy since July, but you are open to dating other people?
Sounds like you think dating is casual, and not taking things too seriously.
I wonder if the guys you are involved with can pick up on this. Are you telling everyone that you have a guy you are dating? Some guys dont want to invest time into a woman who isnt actually looking for a relationship.
I posted on here some months back that I met this guy (Raymond) at the end of June. We have been dating since July. He's cool, fun to hang out with but nothing I have thought of too seriously. It's been a busy summer, but with the exception of 1 week we normally talk/text almost daily. Well this weekend he ends up staying over Saturday and went home Sunday night. I thought we had a really nice fun weekend. I can honestly say I liked him a lot more after this weekend. Well Monday morning he had a job interview so I sent him a text and wishing him well and never heard a thing back. I find it strange that it's almost Thursday and he still never responded.
Okay, well back in July my friend decides she wants to hook me up with this guy (Dylan) that lives in her complex. She describes him to me and I realize that I think I may know him (well kind of). He works at a store I used to go to a lot. When we exchanged pics were definitely recognized each other. Since then we have only gone out once. He did ask a couple of other times, but I just had a lot going on. Whenever I would suggest something else he couldn't, wouldn't whatever. I hadn't heard from him in a couple days so I texted him last Friday and never heard a word back.............
This guy (Jared) I went to high school with contacted me some months back on FB. We have talked off and on since, but never got together. Well he asked me out for drinks the Friday before last and I told him I couldn't and haven't heard from him since.
I'm starting to think I am the problem. Why do I keep getting ditched? It just makes me sad that I am letting these guys make me question myself. For the past few days 10 million things I have been going through my head. Is it possible to not take stuff like this personally? If it was one guy I would say it was them, but 3 guys in a matter of a couple weeks. Maybe I am just being put on the back burner in case something better comes along
Question #1. Do you play poker? You need the odds in your favor before you bet much money, If you are depending on luck and intuition, the odds are against you...
Raymond may have lost interest after nothing happened when he stayed over. The interview could have gone badly; he could be caught up in who knows what. But I wouldn't contact him again. If he's still interested, he knows how to get a hold of you.
#2 and #3: when they asked you out and you turned them down, did you counter-offer with a time you were available? If not, they most likely thought they weren't interested. Even if a friend asks to do something and I'm busy, I let them know when I am free so they know they do matter and I do want to spend time with them.
Raymond: I was almost tempted to contact him today, but I won't. I know I should...Plus, I don't even know what I would say anyway.
#2 and #3 - I have countered offered. The last time with #3 I didn't. He was pretty like okay well I am going out peace!!
I agree with this. I don't think it's you. It's just the nature of dating. It sucks when you don't hear back from someone you like, I've been there. You can literally drive yourself crazy wondering what went wrong. I feel for ya.
Thanks Not the first time and probably won't be the last. I guess it kind of shocked me b/c I thought we had a nice weekend.
Question #1. Do you play poker? You need the odds in your favor before you bet much money, If you are depending on luck and intuition, the odds are against you...
So, what your saying is I need to learn to play poker? J/K!!!!! So basically you are saying I set myself for failure.
Well geez!! We discussed it and he claimed he was cool with it.
Are you really 33? I mean, what is he going to tell you? "Hey, don't mean to offend but I really wanted to f*ck you and you're telling me that you don't want to smash just yet. That completely sucks". He told you what he thought would be the most appropriate thing to say at the moment. He probably thought that you weren't attracted to him when the two of you came to an "agreement".
So basically you are saying I set myself for failure.
Pretty much. Guy 1 should have never slept over. By allowing him to sleep over for two days without any sort of sex you silently told him that you weren't attracted to him even if that isn't the case. With guy 2 you should have countered with an alternate date and time at the moment you turned him down, but bc you didn't you, which basically hinted that you weren't interested. For guy 3, you know that you shouldn't have even tried anything with guy.
Last edited by he's so hott; 08-30-2012 at 06:52 PM..
I posted on here some months back that I met this guy (Raymond) at the end of June. We have been dating since July. He's cool, fun to hang out with but nothing I have thought of too seriously. It's been a busy summer, but with the exception of 1 week we normally talk/text almost daily. Well this weekend he ends up staying over Saturday and went home Sunday night. I thought we had a really nice fun weekend. I can honestly say I liked him a lot more after this weekend. Well Monday morning he had a job interview so I sent him a text and wishing him well and never heard a thing back. I find it strange that it's almost Thursday and he still never responded.
Okay, well back in July my friend decides she wants to hook me up with this guy (Dylan) that lives in her complex. She describes him to me and I realize that I think I may know him (well kind of). He works at a store I used to go to a lot. When we exchanged pics were definitely recognized each other. Since then we have only gone out once. He did ask a couple of other times, but I just had a lot going on. Whenever I would suggest something else he couldn't, wouldn't whatever. I hadn't heard from him in a couple days so I texted him last Friday and never heard a word back.............
This guy (Jared) I went to high school with contacted me some months back on FB. We have talked off and on since, but never got together. Well he asked me out for drinks the Friday before last and I told him I couldn't and haven't heard from him since.
I'm starting to think I am the problem. Why do I keep getting ditched? It just makes me sad that I am letting these guys make me question myself. For the past few days 10 million things I have been going through my head. Is it possible to not take stuff like this personally? If it was one guy I would say it was them, but 3 guys in a matter of a couple weeks. Maybe I am just being put on the back burner in case something better comes along
You need to take a break from hooking up w/ random guys. You may not like the reputation that you may be getting. You also should take this time off to do some research into what type guy you are really interested in, and the best way to know that is to really know yourself. Spend time w/ just non-relationship potential friends...go on outings, go out dancing...but leave the "hook up" out of it. Take a hiatus....Take care of you. Take bubble baths, read good books, improve you job/work ethic...Build your life from the inside out. You will be amazed how much happier and fulfilled you wil become. Do this for a few months....You will be surprised when you relax into just being you, not being driven to "find" a guy...how many guys will be attracted to you. It will work. But, by then you will have raised your values a bit, so just any random guy won't do then you will be found, by the right one...
It's one of the strongest aphrodisiacs around...and one of the strongest repellents, all wrapped up in one pretty parcel just begging to be opened.
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Not the first time and probably won't be the last. I guess it kind of shocked me b/c I thought we had a nice weekend.
