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I do not believe any such thing I am afraid. I see no reason to compromise who you actually are just to get people to love you. Again I think it is best to be yourself and not be loved than be something your not and have someone love the lie.
You can only make this decision for yourself, and this thread is about someone else.
It really is. I know far too many people who settled and end up divorced. I'd rather be never married then marry the wrong person. I am truly fine with being single if this is what happens, though I feel I will get married eventually. I have a complete life outside of dating and will continue this if never married or married.
What I will never understand though is this whole idea that a woman must settle or she will be a "crazy cat lady". So what if a woman never marries, not everyone will. So what if she has a bunch of cats and no husband, if she is fine with this who cares. Notice they never say anything like this to men? I know older men still single and while a few tell them they need to settle, for the most part as a society we tell men to be as picky as possible while telling women to settle. That's like even the single parent issue, women like me are told we are being unrealistic but when a man says he's not open to it people agree with him.
40 + men dont make these threads, and they are way more realistic about their place.in the dating world.
I am sure you do. Your problem, however, is that you wont date those guys. The ones.you DO want to date don't want you in return. That is what i mean about you punching outside your weight class.
In fact it seems the guy I wants also wants me. As for the men who want me that I don't want, no I don't want men with multiple baby mamas, divorced several times, severely obese, and mentally challenged, who would besides women in their level?
I don't tell them that but I am not interested in just dating without marriage.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
He's shy and inexperienced but I get the vibe he is interested.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I don't tell them that at all so it plays no role. However, no I am not open to anything sexually until we are in a relationship.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I would rather be alone than settle. I am fine with being alone to be honest and yes if he's not interested I expect to be alone. However I have no reason as of yet that he's not interested (I feel he is). He is very shy and very low self esteem who doesn't believe I would like him. Now that he knows I do (or I think he knows)I expect things to happen.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
Well if they are in love with me and want to spend their life together this will be no problem. If they are just looking for sex they can bypass me.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
In fact it seems the guy I wants also wants me. As for the men who want me that I don't want, no I don't want men with multiple baby mamas, divorced several times, severely obese, and mentally challenged, who would besides women in their level?
You have a rebuttal for everything, don't you? You start a thread, and when people respond to it, you counter them at every turn. If you have all the answers, why are you asking any questions?
Look, you see how well your "standards" have worked for you. You can talk all you want about that, but the proof of how effective those standards are in producing a mate lies in your current state of being: You are alone, and you don't want to be. The fact is, if you knew what you were doing when it comes to men, that situation would have been rectified a long time ago. And if you were really okay with being alone, you wouldn't be posting threads like this.
But by all means, continue to be stubbornly contrarian. You'll be here a year from now wondering why nothing has changed. Good thing we'll still be here to help. I'll bring the popcorn.
In fact it seems the guy I wants also wants me. As for the men who want me that I don't want, no I don't want men with multiple baby mamas, divorced several times, severely obese, and mentally challenged, who would besides women in their level?
If he wants you, why hasnt he made a move? Why did you make this thread if you want him and he wants you?
Because he is shy and has no idea how to approach women. However if he's not interested I am more than ok with being alone. In fact I prefer that over dating a man with kids or a guy just looking for sex.
You have a rebuttal for everything, don't you? You start a thread, and when people respond to it, you counter them at every turn. If you have all the answers, why are you asking any questions?
Look, you see how well your "standards" have worked for you. You can talk all you want about that, but the proof of how effective those standards are in producing a mate lies in your current state of being: You are alone, and you don't want to be. The fact is, if you knew what you were doing when it comes to men, that situation would have been rectified a long time ago. And if you were really okay with being alone, you wouldn't be posting threads like this.
But by all means, continue to be stubbornly contrarian. You'll be here a year from now wondering why nothing has changed. Good thing we'll still be here to help. I'll bring the popcorn.
I am not asking questions I was just asking if people ever give up on relationships. I don't care if I am alone if it comes to that but I doubt it will. I have several men interested in dating me, including much younger and I am considering several of them if this guy doesn't workout.
You can only make this decision for yourself, and this thread is about someone else.
That would be why I used words like "I". That is the great thing about advice forums. You give advice by telling people what you have found best for you yourself, and why, and they can take what they want from that or leave it. So I am not sure what your point is here.
Let me make a suggestion, which I sincerely hope you will take to heart.
Make an appt with a life coach or a therapist.
You could really benefit from some professional guidance to get your love life on track.
In addition, you need to learn and fine tune some better coping skills for the disappointments that inevitably come our way when we are dating.
There is just no reason to let the heartbreak of one romance render you so incapacitated!
Seriously, get some help understanding what patterns you need to break and how to break them - it will expedite the whole love thing for you
^^^I second this^^^. Life is short. Do this NOW! Or at the very least, read Is He Mr. Right? by Mira Kirshenbaum (Don't worry, no psychobabble in this book. Very practicaly & down to earth book).
Last edited by mysticaltyger; 09-20-2012 at 04:30 AM..
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