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Old 09-04-2012, 11:56 AM
 
554 posts, read 620,582 times
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I have been cheated on in the past and I gave the person a second chance and he eventually regained my trust. We actually went to relationship counseling and talked everything out. What do you think ? Can you get trust back after a person cheats and how do you get trust back?
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:59 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyDee View Post
I have been cheated on in the past and I gave the person a second chance and he eventually regained my trust. We actually went to relationship counseling and talked everything out. What do you think ? Can you get trust back after a person cheats and how do you get trust back?
Well, since you've done it yourself, you know it can be done!

Why not tell us how your guy regained your trust?
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:59 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,587,652 times
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I think you'll get cheated on again, call it a hunch. In my experience, its close to impossible to regain someones trust after cheating. Its a delabreaker and time to move on. cheaters rarely cheat only once.
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:07 PM
 
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Once it's gone, it's gone.
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:10 PM
 
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You cant gain anyone's trust back. The person you betrayed has to want to trust you again.
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
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.[i]..cheaters rarely cheat only once[/I

A decent rule of thumb but the exception is the cheater that found cheating very unsatisfying, disruptive and hurtful to themselves and the ones (family) that they belatedly figured out that they cared about. That kind of negative feedback will cure a cheater for life if that person is decent inside and reasonably self aware but made a stupid mistake of the moment.
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:17 PM
 
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It depends on the person. It would be a wonderful thing to gain the trust back. However, once you have breached that trust, especially in relationships, your guess is as good as mine. The best thing you can do is be honest.
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:20 PM
 
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That's for you to decide. My father would never do it again when he was caught the first time and keeps doing it do this day.
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
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Forgiving a cheater can and does happen.

Some marriages/relationships go on to be stronger and healthier after they've been through this kind of crisis.

The key is for the cheater to be completely remorseful, willing to take responsibility for their actions, and willing to do the work to repair the damage they have caused.

Now, not all cheaters will be up to those tasks.

If they aren't, the relationship is doomed.

If they are, they have to live lives of complete transparency going forward.

In addition, they don't get to say when the person they wronged SHOULD feel better - they have to live with their partners hurt and pain, answering all their questions truthfully, until they can begin to get past it all.

This is all a lot of work.

But...it can be done if both partners are seriously motivated to work together!
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:29 PM
 
2,066 posts, read 4,325,335 times
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Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
The key is for the cheater to be completely remorseful, willing to take responsibility for their actions, and willing to do the work to repair the damage they have caused.

Now, not all cheaters will be up to those tasks.
This ^

Of course its possible to regain trust but the offender really has to show that he's willing to do what it takes to regain the trust and then actually do it.

Too many cheaters say the words, get their second chance, and then do nothing additional.
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