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Old 09-05-2012, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,272 posts, read 34,391,475 times
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It really depends.

After my husband passed I had 2 relationships of over a year. The first guy took a couple months. The 2nd guy I never got over (but worked out because he didn't get over me either).
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Old 09-05-2012, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,263,329 times
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I just had a five-year relationship end.

Time will tell.
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Old 09-05-2012, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Michigan
5,431 posts, read 6,057,073 times
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It has varied quite a lot and I think it depends on a number of variables. Not only the relationship itself but also what caused the relationship to end. One of my serious relationships ended when he was killed in an accident. That took me about a year before I even ventured out with anyone again, and it was almost two years before I was able to date someone regularly. I've found that relationships that I took the initiative to end I got over pretty quickly (ie. a couple of weeks) while those in which I was not the initiator took a little longer but still not an excessive amount of time (a month, perhaps). I think I am always wiling to give a relationship every opportunity to succeed so when I decide to initiate the split, it's been a while coming. When I was not the initiator it was sometimes more of a surprise so it took a little longer. But in either case we gave it a shot and it didn't work out and so I moved on. That's why I think the one that ended in an accident was so hard - - I''ll never know what would have happened and it didn't play itself out to its end.

Last edited by CrowGirl; 09-05-2012 at 09:51 PM.. Reason: fix typo
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Old 09-05-2012, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,616 posts, read 13,768,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
I wish my anger would help me forget about them. haha.
It's not even that I have positive feelings about her anymore, just for some reason the toxic relationships take me longer to recover from.
I'll be honest with you bro, my best friend dated this girl for around 5 years. They were very close obviously. When they broke up, she left him with no reason why. That killed him the most. You could see it on his face. He didn't get over it for about a year.

I tried everything I could to introduce him to other women but he wasn't into it. Then one night we were out at the movie theater and the girl who was taking the tickets caught his eye. It was the first time I saw him smile. And from that day on he kept smiling.

The moral of the story is that love is crazy friggin' weird and happiness can reoccur literally instantly like it did for my friend.
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Old 09-05-2012, 09:57 PM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,567 posts, read 12,762,532 times
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If you truly love someone..you never get over them. Try pinning over a lost love for 30 years....The only thing that broke the spell was when I got a call that she suddenly had died...I guess it is till death do you part...even when you have been apart for decades...Like I said- love is almost forever. For me it was like a curse..The woman knew that I loved her...but she wanted revenge and never fully closed the books on the affair...It was young love- we moved in together - it was the classic story of the poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks....falling in love with the young heiress....LOVE or MONEY>? She took the money....It was a stubborn battle of wills over a long period of time...

I spoke to her every Christmas...when she died....I wept....and later said as far as the battle of wills..."Looks like I won that one" - Yes it was cold...but so was she....an utter waste of time thinking that someday she would fly home....I was a fool.
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Lehighton/Jim Thorpe area
2,095 posts, read 3,086,431 times
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I've heard a "formula" that it takes half the time of the relationship to get over it. I don't believe that's true though.

It usually took me a bit of time to get over serious relationships, but I think it's important to take that time and really work on oneself instead of obsessing about what could have been.
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:06 PM
 
3,703 posts, read 3,767,057 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
It depends on the relationship.

Some I can walk away from and never look back. Others I just hang on to....maybe it's hope, not wanting to close the door. Some people affect me more than others.
Agreed. With some of my past relationships I was back on my feet and dating new girls really quick. But with the "One that got away" I was torn up for a long while. I had no interest in girls for long while.
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Lehighton/Jim Thorpe area
2,095 posts, read 3,086,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ja1myn View Post
A lot of people are like you, but my anger for that person usually instantly deletes all positive feelings I once had for them instantly. Maybe I'm the cruel one.
That's not getting over the person though. That's just putting anger in place of love. If you still remain angry at them instead of just forgiving them and wishing them well, you aren't really over them--especially if it affects potential new relationships.
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:07 PM
 
2,758 posts, read 4,940,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
If you truly love someone..you never get over them. Try pinning over a lost love for 30 years....The only thing that broke the spell was when I got a call that she suddenly had died...I guess it is till death do you part...even when you have been apart for decades...Like I said- love is almost forever. For me it was like a curse..The woman knew that I loved her...but she wanted revenge and never fully closed the books on the affair...It was young love- we moved in together - it was the classic story of the poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks....falling in love with the young heiress....LOVE or MONEY>? She took the money....It was a stubborn battle of wills over a long period of time...

I spoke to her every Christmas...when she died....I wept....and later said as far as the battle of wills..."Looks like I won that one" - Yes it was cold...but so was she....an utter waste of time thinking that someday she would fly home....I was a fool.
Wow. Sorry to hear. Hopefully you found love/happiness in other parts of your life.
It is amazing how people can change your life forever, and often times I think they aren't even aware of it. They just go on living their life, and probably never realize the impact they made (good or bad).
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:10 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,961,628 times
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Every human has their own time frame as to when or if they get past any type of relationship that is over whether it be short term or long term. There is no set in stone time frame that covers everyone like a blanket. The best thing to do is quit dwelling on the relationship and move forward in your own life, the more you allow your thoughts to stay in the what if I'd done....blah, blah, blah it would have been different rut, the longer it takes you to get past it all.
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