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My husband and I did before we were married. I was in my early 20s, though he's was in his late 20s. I know some people don't "get" long distance relationships but that does not mean they are never successful. If you really, really love someone, it's worth it to put up with some time apart if it means being together the rest of your life. I'm just not totally convinced that this is how the OP feels about her.
I really do love this girl. Im just worried as to what will happen if i do go over and we do want to see each other again and i have to go home etc. i suppose ill see how we feel at the end of the two weeks and take it from there ! Thanks.
I really do love this girl. Im just worried as to what will happen if i do go over and we do want to see each other again and i have to go home etc. i suppose ill see how we feel at the end of the two weeks and take it from there ! Thanks.
Exactly. Don't over-think this. Take it one step at a time and deal with any obstacles as you find them.
Don't think there is an RSC in St. Louis. But you can get RTV online or a text feed through Twitter.
I'm sure it will be inetersting for you. Who knows? This trip may blossom the relationship into something more? It may not too, but it may as well.
You're young at 22. You have free place to stay. Go just and have a little fun.
Re customs asking questions regarding your stay, make sure you carry proof of intent to return home (lease/rent or mortgage agreement, time off from work etc), also you may be asked to prove you have enough money to cover your expenses. If you turn up prepared you should have no problems.
Re customs asking questions regarding your stay, make sure you carry proof of intent to return home (lease/rent or mortgage agreement, time off from work etc), also you may be asked to prove you have enough money to cover your expenses. If you turn up prepared you should have no problems.
Have fun in St.Louis !
all of this.
you are considered a high flight risk just by the nature of your visit, how you know this person and how long you want to come for. it is your burden of proof to give them every small and large piece of info they will need to feel comfortable with your stay.
you will most likely be given an i-94 ticket, which you will have to hand back in at or to a customs/border agent to be singed off on when returning home. failure to do this will result in deportation, fines and straight up being flagged to never be allowed back into the country for 7 years. at the 7 year mark you may contest it if eligible.
dont treat it as a non serious matter, if they think you are treating this as a carefree trip they will turn you right back around.
bring proof of where you live that proves you have been in the same place for at least 12 months.
proof of income and employment (again for at least the last 12 months
proof that you will be able to sustain yourself while in the country and that your life back home is not suffering because you are going to be gone for such a long period.
they want to see consistency, not quantity when it comes to your history of employment and living.
these are the big things they will need to know. the time you are coming over for will be a big point of contention with them, as soon as you say 10 weeks you will undoubtedly be pulled aside for a small interview and information screening
its not as bad as it sounds, but it can be a little overwhelming if you are not use to it. you are basically being "soft" interrogated. just bring everything you can think of and tell them the truth (even if you think something sounds bad)
oh, and a word of advise. ERASE TEXT MESSAGES unless it supports your situation before you go though a customs point. they will check the texts and call history on your cell to see if parts of your story matches up with what you have been saying to others and to try and pull "sneaky" questions out on you to catch you in a lie.
good luck!
Last edited by rego00123; 09-07-2012 at 11:42 PM..
you are considered a high flight risk just by the nature of your visit, how you know this person and how long you want to come for. it is your burden of proof to give them every small and large piece of info they will need to feel comfortable with your stay.
you will most likely be given an i-94 ticket, which you will have to hand back in at or to a customs/border agent to be singed off on when returning home. failure to do this will result in deportation, fines and straight up being flagged to never be allowed back into the country for 7 years. at the 7 year mark you may contest it if eligible.
dont treat it as a non serious matter, if they think you are treating this as a carefree trip they will turn you right back around.
bring proof of where you live that proves you have been in the same place for at least 12 months.
proof of income and employment (again for at least the last 12 months
proof that you will be able to sustain yourself while in the country and that your life back home is not suffering because you are going to be gone for such a long period.
they want to see consistency, not quantity when it comes to your history of employment and living.
these are the big things they will need to know. the time you are coming over for will be a big point of contention with them, as soon as you say 10 weeks you will undoubtedly be pulled aside for a small interview and information screening
its not as bad as it sounds, but it can be a little overwhelming if you are not use to it. you are basically being "soft" interrogated. just bring everything you can think of and tell them the truth (even if you think something sounds bad)
oh, and a word of advise. ERASE TEXT MESSAGES unless it supports your situation before you go though a customs point. they will check the texts and call history on your cell to see if parts of your story matches up with what you have been saying to others and to try and pull "sneaky" questions out on you to catch you in a lie.
good luck!
I think theres been a misunderstanding here .. Im
Only visiting for two weeks. What i meant was that i have just under 10 weeks untill my visit, hence why in worried about the whole trip i.e if were going to feel the same in 10 weeks or if its going to feel weird as she already been home since june !
oh! i must have misunderstood somewhere...sorry
but even so, you defiantly want to bring some supporting evidence in your favor, its totally a judgment call on the customs officer you get as to whether they think its good for you to come over or not. it can be a nightmare when you get someone having a bad day looking at your situation.
i cant say much about the other part of your predicament...
My husband and I did before we were married. I was in my early 20s, though he's was in his late 20s. I know some people don't "get" long distance relationships but that does not mean they are never successful. If you really, really love someone, it's worth it to put up with some time apart if it means being together the rest of your life. I'm just not totally convinced that this is how the OP feels about her.
There's a reason why it's not so common, though. Most people I've seen doing those are either really desperate or they just fall into it through mutual friends/college/whatever. There was a similar story my cousin told me about which is none of our business, but some lady from Maryland was in a similar situation. As a high school girl who never dated, she met a guy four years her senior at a convention at the Hawaiian university she was gonna attend. She basically hit gold since she was shy, reserved, a wannabe A-kid, and she loved Japanese culture. From that point on, she only visited him once a year. The rest was correspondence through email and Skype.
They eventually married coincidentally four years later and she ended up graduating with a Japanese bachelor's degree and moving to Japan (she was American-born half Cuban and half German, while he was a native Japanese) for another four years before coming back to Hawaii. She explained, "I thought it was interesting since I never saw anybody with such a case, and she sacrificed her own language and culture just to live in a foreign land with only a man she barely knew. I read about how she writes all her dirty laundry on her blog and I was like, WOW. WOW..."
One of my older friends said, "Wow. She's lucky nothing happened to her, though."
My cousin said, "That, too. But yeah, it's not an enviable situation."
Also, I don't think this girl intended for the blog to even be read for anyone except her own friends and family. The whole small town thought she was a new Britney Spears or something. Her family were a bunch of "WASPs stuck in rural America".
I don't see what's so amazing about such a story, actually there are far more interesting ones with mail order brides and penpals daily. We later found almost identical ones via YouTube and Facebook with American-Japanese expatriates who ended up marrying and living the other side, some younger. As I told her, "Tons of 21 year old girls marry every single day. So?"
She shrugged, "Oh, well."
I'm curious as to what your friend's parents will think of this. You might walk the other way and end up really disappointed. Just don't expect too much. Hope everything goes well.
Last edited by Elle Oh Elle; 09-08-2012 at 12:32 AM..
Just go and have this experience. If it just turns out to be more or less platonic adventure, you get to chill with a super cool girl and explore a foreign country. If it's that, plus there is something there romantically, if afterwards it doesn't work out because you're on opposite ends of the ocean, fine, you'll have had a wonderful time and you'll have loved, and it'll be okay if it ends at some point and you have to move on. That's life, you'll both have had a lovely experience and you'll have lived. The relationship will go on long distance as long as you both want it to, and if eventually ends in something other then marrying her and growing old, so what? Don't not start something or try something because it might eventually end, you never know what will happen unless you give it a go.
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