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oh and I don't recommend therapy, most therapists just sit there and make you talk and rake in the money, don't really give actual advice to help you. Like I said, after that many years with your mother, the way you feel when you're dealing with her is instinctive at this point, and would be very hard to get over. And frankly, it might not be worth it to try to get over it/get brave, just cut her out of your life. Again, you have a man in your life to "be brave for you" if you will when dealing with bullies. This is not to say that a man should be a crutch and as a woman you can't be brave in your life, but we're talking about a bully, not just some workplace politics or ******* neighbors, buta genuinely malicious prick who isn't afraid to be physically abusive and wants control of your life, his/her innate agression gone haywire. THAT is a job for a man and part of his job in the relationship. I know other people will gripe about this, but I do believe in at least that sometimes necessary gender role separation. Men and women are different and for some things we have different jobs in building a life together.
oh and I don't recommend therapy, most therapists just sit there and make you talk and rake in the money, don't really give actual advice to help you. Like I said, after that many years with your mother, the way you feel when you're dealing with her is instinctive at this point, and would be very hard to get over. And frankly, it might not be worth it to try to get over it/get brave, just cut her out of your life. Again, you have a man in your life to "be brave for you" if you will when dealing with bullies. This is not to say that a man should be a crutch and as a woman you can't be brave in your life, but we're talking about a bully, not just some workplace politics or ******* neighbors, buta genuinely malicious prick who isn't afraid to be physically abusive and wants control of your life, his/her innate agression gone haywire. THAT is a job for a man and part of his job in the relationship. I know other people will gripe about this, but I do believe in at least that sometimes necessary gender role separation. Men and women are different and for some things we have different jobs in building a life together.
You maintain a relationship with parents you loathe because of some deluded hope they will provide you with financial rewards. You're not exactly the man to stand up to a bully for a woman.
oh and I don't recommend therapy, most therapists just sit there and make you talk and rake in the money, don't really give actual advice to help you. Like I said, after that many years with your mother, the way you feel when you're dealing with her is instinctive at this point, and would be very hard to get over. And frankly, it might not be worth it to try to get over it/get brave, just cut her out of your life. Again, you have a man in your life to "be brave for you" if you will when dealing with bullies. This is not to say that a man should be a crutch and as a woman you can't be brave in your life, but we're talking about a bully, not just some workplace politics or ******* neighbors, buta genuinely malicious prick who isn't afraid to be physically abusive and wants control of your life, his/her innate agression gone haywire. THAT is a job for a man and part of his job in the relationship. I know other people will gripe about this, but I do believe in at least that sometimes necessary gender role separation. Men and women are different and for some things we have different jobs in building a life together.
"holidays" are no reason why you can't cut her out of your life. there is no obligation for you to speak to or see or anything with your parents, holidays or not. Want to see the rest of your family/friends during the holidays? Do so. Would such seeing of those family/friends you do like possibly involve your parents inevitably, during gatherings? Fine, just don't talk to them and tell them to **** off if they try to initiate speech at you. LOL, I always imagine myself kicking my family OUT OF parties/events if I ever disown them but end up having to see them at parties and stuff. Being all like "Look, I'm here, so you're not allowed to be here now because you **** me off", and just physically coerce them outside. But that's me, I'm a really fit guy and pretty crazy/pissed so I could do that. But either way there's plenty of stuff from yelling to throwing drinks at people's faces to keying her car/slashing her tires that don't involve physical assault but send a very strong "**** off" message.
One thing that Thomas Sowell wrote that sticks out in my mind is how his Dad told him to deal with a bully. He said you fight as hard as you can every tuime, even if you lose the fight. Eventually, you just make it not worth it for the bully to pick on you because you create such a fight. The point is to create huge disincentives.
One thing that Thomas Sowell wrote that sticks out in my mind is how his Dad told him to deal with a bully. He said you fight as hard as you can every tuime, even if you lose the fight. Eventually, you just make it not worth it for the bully to pick on you because you create such a fight. The point is to create huge disincentives.
That might work with a logical person...not a dysfunctional one that thrives on conflict though.
You maintain a relationship with parents you loathe because of some deluded hope they will provide you with financial rewards. You're not exactly the man to stand up to a bully for a woman
Was that directed at me? This girl never said whether her parents were well-off
Mine are. And they'll pay for college for me if I want to go back, probably pay my rent too during. when i get older they may be willing to give me a business loan. So it's not a deluded hope, I know it for a fact. Plus my Dog at their house is awesome and so is my little brother. Plus they hold plenty of social cards in our weird little ethnic group, the girls of which I can trust to be a good wife. So I'll take until I need and if I deem it not to be worth it later to hang around them sometimes I'll punch each of them in the face and tell em to **** off.
Was that directed at me? This girl never said whether her parents were well-off
Mine are. And they'll pay for college for me if I want to go back, probably pay my rent too during. when i get older they may be willing to give me a business loan. So it's not a deluded hope, I know it for a fact. Plus my Dog at their house is awesome and so is my little brother. Plus they hold plenty of social cards in our weird little ethnic group, the girls of which I can trust to be a good wife. So I'll take until I need and if I deem it not to be worth it later to hang around them sometimes I'll punch each of them in the face and tell em to **** off.
and you missed the point that just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they don't have stuff to offer that one net will make your life better even if there's the cost of dealing with them
Lots of people don't like their bosses but they keep the job.
Money does matter a bit. Part of being an adult is understanding that.
and you missed the point that just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they don't have stuff to offer that one net will make your life better even if there's the cost of dealing with them
Lots of people don't like their bosses but they keep the job.
Money does matter a bit. Part of being an adult is understanding that.
Part of being an adult is also rising above our baser instincts to use others for what we can get out of them
Part of being an adult is also rising above our baser instincts to use others for what we can get out of them
And part of being an adult is realizing that some people don't have anything to offer you other than stuff/money. There are plenty of good people to have real connections with and you can try for that with those people, but not everybody is going to be a good person like that.
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