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I'm not a believer in snooping without strong suspicion. Why did you even do it?
Just plain curiosity. Like in the song, I found her diary underneath the tree... It was left open, he had fallen asleep... I just couldn't stop myself from reading. I know it's wrong, but it's done.
Just plain curiosity. Like in the song, I found her diary underneath the tree... It was left open, he had fallen asleep... I just couldn't stop myself from reading. I know it's wrong, but it's done.
You can never tell the context of things that are from the past and come to you indirectly. Your perception of facebook posts, his friends perception of his old relationship, your perception of emails etc is all too far removed to make rational judgments on. You have no idea the intimate details of why this relationship ended and he in turn ended up with you. The point is he ended up with you.
You can never tell the context of things that are from the past and come to you indirectly. Your perception of facebook posts, his friends perception of his old relationship, your perception of emails etc is all too far removed to make rational judgments on. You have no idea the intimate details of why this relationship ended and he in turn ended up with you. The point is he ended up with you.
I just added the email, friends and other sources as an example. In my case, just his facebook messages. His story of how it ended pretty much sounds true. He said it just faded. I saw that in their messages.
What bothers me is this....
To the ex: Good morning my baby! I love you so much! I miss you so much... Reading your message when I woke up made me cry... I love you so much!!!!!
Variations: Good morning beautiful! I love you so much! I miss you so much... yada yada yada....
I just added the email, friends and other sources as an example. In my case, just his facebook messages. His story of how it ended pretty much sounds true. He said it just faded. I saw that in their messages.
What bothers me is this....
To the ex: Good morning my baby! I love you so much! I miss you so much... Reading your message when I woke up made me cry... I love you so much!!!!!
Variations: Good morning beautiful! I love you so much! I miss you so much... yada yada yada....
To me: Good morning baby.
Variations: Good morning beautiful.
:/
So let me ask you this, if he had passion in that relationship but it burned hot and fizzled out...would you still prefer that over his more subdued love for you if it stood the test of time?
I won't lie and say that I wouldn't be hurt because I would be. It would hurt if I'd been giving 100% and he'd only been giving 50%, but how would I have known that? I have loved each person I've been with differently than the one before; not intentionally.
If I'm happy, I don't really care about what he might have done in previous relationships. If he was completely catering to his SO before me, it could be because she was simply higher-maintenance or more demanding. Or maybe he realized his actions were unnecessary, over the top, ridiculous, whatever.
You were happy until you snooped. I guess this is the penalty for that. Does he treat you BADLY? Then you just walk away.
My one ex married a woman who resented my presence in his life. He treated her quite well, but he had put me on a pedestal. I had done some very extreme things for him and his son when they desperately needed the help and my expertise. She wanted that same admiration he had voiced for me. She could never get over the fact that I held a special place in his heart, even though our relationship was over. But here's the thing: He came to realize that she would never put herself out the way I had and wasn't capable of that kind of effort, even if she had the knowledge I had. Rather than being glad that he had someone at his side to help him get through a very dark time (that occurred before he even knew her), she simply resented my very existence. She wanted to be adored in a certain way, and rather than acting in a way that was worthy of that she tried to erase the relationship he had with me so that she could take my place in that niche in his heart. The sad part is that he had very much wanted the relationship to work and was very much open to loving her with the same intensity he had felt for me, but her determination to obliterate any trace of what I had with him before she came along made him realize she was completely insane.
People change. Life changes. His habits with his ex vs you are probably reflective of a number of different circumstances. You'll drive yourself insane comparing yourself, trust me. You should let it go.
I agree. You are looking into the past here. Many relationships differ esp with the passing of time and new people. If you feel insecure in the relationship the best source of communication the person you are with-In the present time.
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