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Old 09-12-2012, 10:53 AM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,284,734 times
Reputation: 43047

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5 View Post
WTF?!?! So many posts saying that she needs to give up on him...?!?

If any girlfriend of mine ever said that I need to drop my female friends for her, she is getting booted out the front door sooner than it takes to post this reply!

If they are ONLY friends then you are far too insecure and you need to keep your emotions in check. He has a right to have friends, girls or guys, as do you! You should not expect him to drop his friends because he is now dating you.

Now, if they are "more" than friends, that is a different story all together... and you need to get rid of him if he doesn't stop.
My advice is predicated on the assumption that she's not a total lunatic. I've got a lot of guy friends, but there's nothing remotely salacious about our texting. The OP's distraught tone makes this sound like there is a lot more being exchanged than just "Hey how are you?"
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Old 09-12-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,638,046 times
Reputation: 10384
You cant. You must accept this behavior or dump him, they are your only options beyond suffering in silence.
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Old 09-12-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,900,989 times
Reputation: 11706
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
My advice is predicated on the assumption that she's not a total lunatic. I've got a lot of guy friends, but there's nothing remotely salacious about our texting. The OP's distraught tone makes this sound like there is a lot more being exchanged than just "Hey how are you?"
Thats exactly how I read it too. She didn't say he is texting his female bff to chat about current events.

If it is a platonic friendship, then of course it is not a big deal. Somehow, I get the feeling he is being flirty through text.

Either way, just the appearance if inappropriate behavior can kill trust too. If it is innocent, but he spends his time with his gf texting other women, even if they are just friends, it may say a lot.
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Old 09-12-2012, 10:58 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,711 posts, read 11,702,485 times
Reputation: 7604
what a waste of time. that's why he's walking all over you now.
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Old 09-12-2012, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Sacramento, Ca.
2,441 posts, read 3,418,655 times
Reputation: 2629
As Sade sings, "love is stronger than pride." It seems that if youre still hanging in there, hoping to change him, yours must be too. If unlike most young hormonal men, he was actually ready to settle down and focus on just one woman, he would not have as much time or interest in texting/sexting others, if that is truly the case, in that he isnt just enjoying chatting with a relative or platonic buddy. Even so, such an innocent act should at least be set aside in favor of quality time spent with you. But that might be asking for more maturity than he has at 21. I hope you can get past the infatuation and try not to judge him as a jerk, but just as someone who would make a better friend than mate for now.
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:31 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,322 posts, read 17,061,840 times
Reputation: 19551
Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
What is he texting them and who are they to him?
Yes, The first question to ask as opposed to assuming right away. They may be friends, friendly ex's who just text here and there or co-workers. However when spending time with the SO it is best to leave the texting for later if it is going to be a back and forth 20 minute text tag thing. A quick one responding after some relationship has been established is not overboard.
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:55 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 5,579,066 times
Reputation: 4322
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You might love him, but you need to love yourself MORE.

All healthy relationships are based on RESPECT and TRUST.

He doesn't respect you and you don't trust him.

This relationship is a waste of your time.

Find your backbone and move on. "Love" doesn't look like this.
This should really be a sticky. it's simple but is a great measure of a relationship.
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:57 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,577,585 times
Reputation: 12334
This is a strong habit that some people develop. A person either has the habit or doesn't. If your BF has it, you can't stop it, I'm sorry. There is nothing you can do. You either have to dump him or accept it, but he will not change. Personally, I recommend dumping him because you haven't been going out for long so it'll be easier to move on and find someone more compatible.
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Old 09-27-2012, 05:34 AM
 
2 posts, read 2,064 times
Reputation: 17
Thanks guys for all your responses. Turned out to be more than just texting, there was a lot more going on. I decided to end the relationship but he's been bugging me, asking me to take him back. But I'm done wit him.
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Old 09-27-2012, 05:45 AM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,730,847 times
Reputation: 15642
Quote:
Originally Posted by givingup View Post
Thanks guys for all your responses. Turned out to be more than just texting, there was a lot more going on. I decided to end the relationship but he's been bugging me, asking me to take him back. But I'm done wit him.
Hold that thought as long as you can--his ego was getting off on this whole scenario.
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