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Old 09-13-2012, 04:40 AM
 
Location: Africa
2 posts, read 1,123 times
Reputation: 10

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I'v been dating a lady for more than 9 yrs. Within those years she has dated some other guys secretely.
At first,we were so much in love that she never wanted me out of her sight nor any girl around me. I worshiped her, & practically,i served her!
Later she started to withdraw. She would get home very late; never pick any phone calls around me,etc.
When i confronted her, she accused me of being jealous and monitoring her. After some months, & a break-up,she would return to me. Yet she would later withdraw & the cycle would begin again.
After about five of those cycle,(when she returned), we engaged in a discussion on how men 'dumped' ladies after sex. I told her some things about men, then i said, "That was why i try to warned you every time you date a guy but you wouldn't listen. And when they have sex with you,they dump you then you come running to me."
Immediately i said that, she just smiled and said, "So you want to make jest of me?" She forget she had denied any involvement. But that didn't stop her from leaving again.
On the latest of her escapade, i had to sneak on her cell phone, & found a text she sent to a guy calling him 'honey' & expressing her love. I confronted her & she felt very embarrassed about my finding out.
Since then,she has been 'throwing' herself on me,again.
The problem is that i have never stopped loving this lady & she knows (that's why she could always return). But i have become very suspicious of her (because i know she is unstable & easily influenced by men). Sometimes, i feel very uncomfortable seeing her with men. I feel pain that doesn't go away easily when she 'sleeps out' & says she's with a sick friend. But i never disturb her with calls neither argue nor accuse her of being a cheat. Though, she does say i am a very jealous man. I feel she doesn't want to stay yet she's afraid of losing me. And she's aware that once i love a girl, i find it difficult loving another. Now am 38years and for 8 years she has given me pain.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:47 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,416 posts, read 24,531,929 times
Reputation: 16424
smack dat ho
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:50 AM
 
1,464 posts, read 2,551,880 times
Reputation: 2802
Quote:
Originally Posted by larrylight View Post
I'v been dating a lady for more than 9 yrs. Within those years she has dated some other guys secretely.
At first,we were so much in love that she never wanted me out of her sight nor any girl around me. I worshiped her, & practically,i served her!
Later she started to withdraw. She would get home very late; never pick any phone calls around me,etc.
When i confronted her, she accused me of being jealous and monitoring her. After some months, & a break-up,she would return to me. Yet she would later withdraw & the cycle would begin again.
After about five of those cycle,(when she returned), we engaged in a discussion on how men 'dumped' ladies after sex. I told her some things about men, then i said, "That was why i try to warned you every time you date a guy but you wouldn't listen. And when they have sex with you,they dump you then you come running to me."
Immediately i said that, she just smiled and said, "So you want to make jest of me?" She forget she had denied any involvement. But that didn't stop her from leaving again.
On the latest of her escapade, i had to sneak on her cell phone, & found a text she sent to a guy calling him 'honey' & expressing her love. I confronted her & she felt very embarrassed about my finding out.
Since then,she has been 'throwing' herself on me,again.
The problem is that i have never stopped loving this lady & she knows (that's why she could always return). But i have become very suspicious of her (because i know she is unstable & easily influenced by men). Sometimes, i feel very uncomfortable seeing her with men. I feel pain that doesn't go away easily when she 'sleeps out' & says she's with a sick friend. But i never disturb her with calls neither argue nor accuse her of being a cheat. Though, she does say i am a very jealous man. I feel she doesn't want to stay yet she's afraid of losing me. And she's aware that once i love a girl, i find it difficult loving another. Now am 38years and for 8 years she has given me pain.
Why are you not married to this woman? After 8 years or was it 9, there should have been some form of commitment coming from you. Perhaps she is getting tired of not receiving some form of proposal of marriage from you and has decided to move on.

Most women feel that if a man has not made a commitment of marriage to you by the 5th year of a relationship then he probably never will; so time to move on.

Either get rid of the drama with a proposal or get rid of the drama by letting her go.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:51 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,221,080 times
Reputation: 16190
Drop her.

She'll just continue cheating and yanking you around because she knows she can.

Some women are drama queens. Move on.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:58 AM
 
5,666 posts, read 4,106,694 times
Reputation: 5608
You love her more than she loves you and she seems to know it. She will treat you like this for as long as she wants because she knows you'll be there when she wants you..

Time to call an end to it I think.
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:03 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,862 posts, read 7,051,021 times
Reputation: 7387
PLEASE tell me this is sarcasm ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pammyd View Post
Why are you not married to this woman? After 8 years or was it 9, there should have been some form of commitment coming from you. Perhaps she is getting tired of not receiving some form of proposal of marriage from you and has decided to move on.

Most women feel that if a man has not made a commitment of marriage to you by the 5th year of a relationship then he probably never will; so time to move on.

Either get rid of the drama with a proposal or get rid of the drama by letting her go.
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:14 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,309 posts, read 18,931,721 times
Reputation: 10795
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pammyd View Post
Why are you not married to this woman? After 8 years or was it 9, there should have been some form of commitment coming from you. Perhaps she is getting tired of not receiving some form of proposal of marriage from you and has decided to move on.

Most women feel that if a man has not made a commitment of marriage to you by the 5th year of a relationship then he probably never will; so time to move on.

Either get rid of the drama with a proposal or get rid of the drama by letting her go.
I more or less thought the same thing, not that you should marry her now. But if you've allowed this relationship to drag on for so long with no formal commitment, why wouldn't she go looking for something better?

NOW it's time for you to commit to a formal break up.

Try sticking with it and do better on the next relationship
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:54 AM
 
640 posts, read 577,516 times
Reputation: 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pammyd View Post
Why are you not married to this woman? After 8 years or was it 9, there should have been some form of commitment coming from you. Perhaps she is getting tired of not receiving some form of proposal of marriage from you and has decided to move on.

Most women feel that if a man has not made a commitment of marriage to you by the 5th year of a relationship then he probably never will; so time to move on.

Either get rid of the drama with a proposal or get rid of the drama by letting her go.
Um...but she's not moving on, she's moving back and forth...
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Old 09-13-2012, 06:27 AM
 
15,732 posts, read 16,771,554 times
Reputation: 12722
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baldrick View Post
You love her more than she loves you and she seems to know it. She will treat you like this for as long as she wants because she knows you'll be there when she wants you..

Time to call an end to it I think.
Agree here. She knows you are always available and you will always be the doormat she comes home to and wipes her feet on. Don't be that person. Time to end things.

You may sincerely love her, but you need to love yourself more. She will never stop treating you this way...you taught her that it was acceptable.
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:04 AM
 
91 posts, read 241,202 times
Reputation: 71
Run!
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