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if he is making you feel uncomfortable you need to let him know and stop responding to his calls and advances until he gets the very direct message you do not appreciate his behavior.
people cant manipulate you if you do not allow them, that is all on you.
youre just the gas on his fire.
Last edited by rego00123; 09-16-2012 at 12:34 AM..
Thanks for the advice; I don't want to string him along. But every time I ask for space he does the opposite, calling me nonstop, & makes me feel guilty. Another friend of mine said he is a manipulator. Idk.
You actually DO KNOW because you see it in front of you it is time to admit how he makes you feel. Do you like feeling guilty? Do you like the nonstop calls? Does it give you an odd feeling when you see it is him on the caller ID? You already said you need room to breathe so tell him that you are not interested in anything right now, quit taking his calls, quit responding to texts and if you have to block his number. He seriously sounds like a very needy potential stalker to me.
if he is making you feel uncomfortable you need to let him know and stop responding to his calls and advances until he gets the very direct message you do not appreciate his behavior.
people cant manipulate you if you do not allow them, that is all on you.
youre just the gas on his fire.
I needed to hear this.
And this...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ;26111695
You actually DO KNOW because you see it in front of you it is time to admit how he makes you feel. Do you like feeling guilty? Do you like the nonstop calls? Does it give you an odd feeling when you see it is him on the caller ID? You already said you need room to breathe so tell him that you are not interested in anything right now, quit taking his calls, quit responding to texts and if you have to block his number. He seriously sounds like a very needy potential stalker to me.
I guess it is time to set him straight. Thanks for these honest responses. I needed to get a different perspective on it all.
One more thing, no matter how hard anyone tries, someone is always going to have their feelings hurt when a break up occurs, no matter if it is romantic or just a friendship. It happens and is part of being human, just be honest and move on, no further contact (this is my opinion only), just from what you have written he is one big red flag until he decides to get things sorted out from his past and start the journey into his future.
If you aren't attracted to him, you aren't attracted to him, and that won't likely change. You need to let him know as soon as possible that you really like hanging out with him and being friends, but that is all that you want from the relationship. He needs to know soon before he gets any more attached to you than he already is. If there is a lot of drama in his life that you are not sure you want to deal with, then just be a casual friend with him and don't be really involved in his day to day life.
You are also malipulating in a way by not being honest with your feelings. Personally I would rather someone honestly and kindly lay out the truth. If I was in that situation I would feel like a fool if I was passionately falling for someone and they beat around the bush because they were worried about my feelings. Just say it. "i dont feel that way." You have that right. You cant help how you feel. If you care about your friend be honest about it so they can move on and have closure. YOU are the one stringing them on giving them moments of hope by with holding how you feel.
Since she is already a girl I don't think she is unwilling to be a girl unless she is seeking medication and surgery to become a boy. I also don't see where there is an issue on her part being a friend she just has to tell the guy that she does not want a committed relationship with anyone at the moment as a couple.
The dynamics change when she is willing to be a girl and a friend, at the same time. Some women have claimed they can't be girl friends, even when wanting a relationship and wanting to be a girlfriend. Simply focusing on the gender portion is not usually very helpful in this context since it is about friendship.
She didn't say she didn't want to be his friend. She doesn't want to be his girlfriend because he's got too much drama in his life and she's not physically attracted to him.
OP, don't string him along. If you don't feel like you can move foward with him you need to let him know this. The longer you wait, the more it is going to hurt him and that is not fair to him.
Just let him know while you do feel like you get along with him, there is no chemistry there for you and it's not fair to either of you to continue to try and force something that isn't there.
That doesn't mean she can't be a better girl friend in modern times, by being willing to be a girl and a friend, at the same time. Simply stereotyping doesn't do anything for gender relations, either. My point is about friendship, regardless of gender, even if gender may be an issue.
Why are you unwilling to be a girl and a friend, at the same time?
Why do huff gasoline?
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