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Well, in all fairness, we always only get one side of the story on here. But it doesn't really matter who is at fault - if you aren't happy with someone - you shouldn't marry them.
Thanks, but I am not a sucker. Her OBGYN said as she approaches 37 and older, it becomes harder to become pregnant and the child can have medical issues. I am concerned about money, as I have medical issues from a serious accident. I can only bring in so much money. Money does not go as far in NJ as it does in most of the other states. I do not think she's trying to trick me into impregnating her, as we do not have/had sex w/o a condom. Kinda hard to have a child with a condom on. I also, due to the expense of the wedding and my medical bills, had to push the wedding off until mid-2013, which she was not happy about. I can do what I can do. As for her medical issues, none except bacterial vaginosis. Hence the reason we've been abstaining from sex.
As a 36-year-old woman with waning fertility myself, I'm still not feeling this. You're feeling pressured and uncomfortable, and she's got an agenda. This is not a good combination, and there is no one who has posted on this thread who gets a good vibe from this.
Thanks, but I am not a sucker. Her OBGYN said as she approaches 37 and older, it becomes harder to become pregnant and the child can have medical issues. I am concerned about money, as I have medical issues from a serious accident. I can only bring in so much money. Money does not go as far in NJ as it does in most of the other states. I do not think she's trying to trick me into impregnating her, as we do not have/had sex w/o a condom. Kinda hard to have a child with a condom on. I also, due to the expense of the wedding and my medical bills, had to push the wedding off until mid-2013, which she was not happy about. I can do what I can do. As for her medical issues, none except bacterial vaginosis. Hence the reason we've been abstaining from sex.
Like I said, the writing's on the wall. She's not concerned for your welfare (which, not coincidentally, will affect the welfare of the couple &/or family, if your health issues aren't resolved or you're not able to be fully employed), only her wedding and her babies.
This doesn't sound like a good candidate for pregnancy, anyway. But the first priority in the whole picture needs to be your getting yourself back in reliably working order. She's not interested in that part. Writing. Wall. May I loan you some glasses?
Hate to say it, but she sounds more interested in a sperm donor and a child support payer than a husband. You can almost be sure that there will be more "changes" after the "I do's". IMHO, you would be well advised to break the engagement and stop the sex, an an "unplanned pregnancy" might be forthcoming.
Thanks, but I am not a sucker. Her OBGYN said as she approaches 37 and older, it becomes harder to become pregnant and the child can have medical issues. I am concerned about money, as I have medical issues from a serious accident. I can only bring in so much money. Money does not go as far in NJ as it does in most of the other states. I do not think she's trying to trick me into impregnating her, as we do not have/had sex w/o a condom. Kinda hard to have a child with a condom on. I also, due to the expense of the wedding and my medical bills, had to push the wedding off until mid-2013, which she was not happy about. I can do what I can do. As for her medical issues, none except bacterial vaginosis. Hence the reason we've been abstaining from sex.
Didn't she change her tune after the engagement in that now she wanted children when you already told her you didn't?
NJ or not "the whole thing doesn't smell right to me".
I think her demands will only grow as time goes on, because she is only warming up after the engagement.
Also, she'll demand things you probably don't want or can't provide.
This is what makes any man in this scenario a sucker.
I think she intentionally kept things from you till now and perhaps more to discover later.
No matter, you both are not on the same page right now.
Well, if I were him - I'd check into it to make sure it's true. I'm not saying it doesn't happen - but I'd make sure that this is actually the case. I know so many people who have had babies in their late 30's and early 40's. I plan on having one in my late 30's and had no problem having my first at 35. Like I said - I know that there are women with legitimate problems - but with the way their relationship is going - I'd make sure that she was one of them.
I was infertile at 33.
None the less, it SEEMS that she got what she wanted...... a proposal.... now that's done the wedding and starting a family seem like her top priorities, and not you. With how you told it.... it comes across that you were the tool to get what she wants.... and not the prize yourself.
OP, don't let your love for her, and the fact that your families get along, blind you to some very serious concerns and shortcomings. I don't like the way she's pretty much bossing you around, and not taking your welfare (very important to the overall success of the family, let alone a legit concern in its own right) to heart. Red flags all over.
Just out of curiosity, beyond her nice family, why do you love her? Why did you agree to marry her?
I bet he loves the pre-engagement her and is still in denial.
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