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The beauty lies within the eyes of the beholder. Here's my advice to you.
Get in shape and make physical exercise and good eating habits common in your life if you haven't done so already. Try to work your body, get a good sweat going on and feel good doing it at the same time. You will reap the rewards if you dedicate yourself to taking care of your body.
Exercise your brain and be well spoken and read. You don't need to be a thesaurus or dictionary but speaking well and having some knowledge on different subjects makes for stimulating conversation. Don't be pretentious, but don't be boring at the same time.
Find your inner self and develop a talent. Find something about yourself that you're good at that you would generously share with another person. Without hurting others or infringing upon the rights of another person, look inside yourself and bring to the surface what makes you different and unique than others. Dare to be different if it means getting past the routine, the tedious and the ordinary.
As for women and dating? Be active and keep an open mind and an open heart to women of all shapes and sizes. Don't just go for the good-looking girls who fit your exact bill of preference. Sometimes really hot women who have all kinds of male attention are the worst kind of women. They rely on nothing but their looks alone and looks don't last forever. When they are constantly having their egos fed or showered with praise about their looks, it's no wonder that these women develop a strong, yet nasty sense of entitlement. Guys who don't measure up to her standards are rendered worthless and unattractive. She acts like her sh*t doesn't stink even though it wreaks like everyone elses. I can understand how the women you see as less-attractive are meaner or nastier to you. Some of these women don't get approached as much as the prettier girls you seek so they might be angry being left out. Others are approached only for sex and nothing more which can be just as hurtful. These women don't want to come across as easy and be used just for that purpose alone.
Approach women who exude self-confidence and make positive eye-contact with you. That works for me most of the time. Her eyes will tell me if she wants me to approach her or she'll make the first move. There's nothing wrong with women who put their pride on the line and go against the basic traditions and talk to a guy first. Nothing slutty about it either, unless she's got her own self-made, self-reputation. I've met women who are big time slutty, extremely proud and a whole lot of fun. They make no excuses for themselves or anyone else. Furthermore women like these kind never care what others say because they are liberal and comfortable with their sexuality.
Take this poster's advice to heart and wrap your head around it as many times as you need to in order to get to the heart of the matter. If you follow this advice you will be feeding your mental, physical, and spiritual self and you will soon wake up with pride in yourself for your accomplishments.
Kudos to the person who wrote this, well spoken and well done, bravo sou!
So as you guys all know, I'm not really an attractive guy and I've had some HORRIBLE luck in the dating world. It seems like every woman I meet who I'm attracted to either has a boyfriend, doesn't find me attractive, or I don't have enough money to "take care of" them.
All my life I've had countless females who HAVE been attracted to me, but I didn't feel the same. Said females are usually overweight, ugly, or a combination of the 2 (usually a combination)
People have always told me to just "take what you can get, because it won't get any better" I'm seriously considering doing just that. Should I just settle for the women who do like me? I feel like actually trying to get a woman I find attractive is too far gone and that nothing I do will ever change my attractiveness to women. I don't have money, good looks, a nice car, good credit, or a good paying job (I DO have a job, but it doesn't pay any more than $300 on a good week)
No, we don't know this (bolded). In fact, as I recall, when you posted a photo of yourself and asked for opinions, people said you were cute. So the problem has nothing to do with your looks.
"All your life"?? YOU'RE ONLY 21! What life? A few months ago, you posted that you've only begun to date. Quit with the "all my life" bit. And, OF COURSE you don't have a nice car, good credit, or a good-paying job--YOU'RE STILL A STUDENT! That's normal for your life stage. (wtf?!)
You're the guy with the bedroom that hasn't been redone since he was 10, right? I think all you need is time to finish growing up. Finish your education, get yourself a career (and an age-appropriate living space), and some of the other things that come with an adult life (a credit rating, for one). As you should have gathered from reading the threads here, dating doesn't just magically fall into place for a lot of people. Finding a match isn't as simple as it may look on TV. Keep trying, but be patient. Look for women's inner qualities. Good luck to you.
Generally, no. Why invest time and money in someone you're not into at all? I've seen a few of my friends get pretty desperate, swinging from branch to branch, and I think it's just idiotic.
Generally, no. Why invest time and money in someone you're not into at all? I've seen a few of my friends get pretty desperate, swinging from branch to branch, and I think it's just idiotic.
If you REALLY struggle, like say you are a 30 year old virgin (and there ARE guys like that out there), then it might be beneficial to 'settle' so you can kind of raise your confidence and erase the social taboo of virginity and never having had a girlfriend.
In other cases, two people who aren't all THAT attracted to each other could have a lot of fun. And if they are inexperienced could add to each others' 'notches' so to speak.
And things like this could end amicably. People always portend doom and gloom when you date someone you're not THAT attracted to. Not true.
I mean, people date good looking people who are bad people all the time. How's dating a good person who you're not THAT attracted to worse than that?
The bold part I can agree on. By the way, I wasn't just referring to physical attraction; I know it's possible to develop attraction for someone over time. I am a bit less fixated on a girl's appearance compared to most guys, even though I'm an attractive guy myself. An ugly (or empty) personality with no hobbies or interests is a turn off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba
If you REALLY struggle, like say you are a 30 year old virgin (and there ARE guys like that out there), then it might be beneficial to 'settle' so you can kind of raise your confidence and erase the social taboo of virginity and never having had a girlfriend.
In other cases, two people who aren't all THAT attracted to each other could have a lot of fun. And if they are inexperienced could add to each others' 'notches' so to speak.
And things like this could end amicably. People always portend doom and gloom when you date someone you're not THAT attracted to. Not true.
I mean, people date good looking people who are bad people all the time. How's dating a good person who you're not THAT attracted to worse than that?
Would you want to be the one that someone settled for?
And Davie, for heaven's sakes, nothing wrong with you or your looks except a total lack of confidence. Maybe you need to go concentrate on something else for awhile and print out shortnblack's post.
It's not settling if you think of your partner is the best person ever.
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