Why can't a women and a man, just be friends (nothing more)? (straight, friendship)
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"And I'm not using anyone... When I look for a friend I would like to keep them. Relationships come and go and I wish friendship wouldn't do the same!!"
Okay, so to be concrete your problem is guys you want to be friends but are not romantically or sexually interested in making a pass at you and then disappearing after you say no (unless I misread your post).
The first possible cause is that they really liked you and find it painful to hang out knowing you aren't interested. Nothing you can do about these, tough luck, but this is not the majority of cases so move on to number two.
The second possible cause is you act angry/offended and the guy thinks you don't want to be his friend anymore because of your reaction and things break down. Solution is to let the guy down gently (but firmly!) and then suggest hanging out (platonically) again before too much time passes and things get weird.
The third possible cause is that these guys have a full social/professional calendar and just don't have enough time in it for another platonic friend. Solution for this, you either need to befriend less busy people or alternatively need to offer more of value: whether it's just striving to be more entertaining when hanging out, organizing group events, matchmaking, brokering favors, whatever, you need to do something to justify absorbing the Saturday night of someone with a surfeit of options.
Okay, so to be concrete your problem is guys you want to be friends but are not romantically or sexually interested in making a pass at you and then disappearing after you say no (unless I misread your post).
The first possible cause is that they really liked you and find it painful to hang out knowing you aren't interested. Nothing you can do about these, tough luck, but this is not the majority of cases so move on to number two.
The second possible cause is you act angry/offendedand the guy thinks you don't want to be his friend anymore because of your reaction and things break down. Solution is to let the guy down gently (but firmly!) and then suggest hanging out (platonically) again before too much time passes and things get weird.
The third possible cause is that these guys have a full social/professional calendar and just don't have enough time in it for another platonic friend. For this, you either need to befriend less busy people or alternatively need to offer more of value: whether it's just striving to be more entertaining when hanging out, organizing group events, matchmaking, brokering favors, whatever, you need to do something to justify absorbing the Saturday night of someone with a surfeit of options.
You make an interesting point that hasn't yet been discussed. I know this will be age and also relationship specific, but once you're through school, into the working world, in a relationship and/or have children, friends are not same the priority or seen at the same frequency as when you were younger and had only yourself to think of.
I'm not saying you don't see your friends ever again, but if people work fulltime, there isn't a lot of personal time to spare, to incorporate spouses, children, extended families and friends, not to mention hobbies, chores and simply downtime putting your feet up. Life is a tricky balancing act, to incorporate everyone and everything into it, so I can see that it might be difficult to make new friends when people already have so much on their plate.
Really? So I guess I should just succumb to being a female, sell my tools and start going shopping every weekend, right? Never talk to a man at all unless I'm romantically interested, lest he get the idea that I'm a person and not a walking vagina.
I have a lot of men I consider true friends. Some of my closest friends are men and we get along incredibly well. Why would I give up their friendships?
We are not talking about "talking" but hanging around. Quite honestly all of my friends have significant others so when we go out we want to be by ourselves, guys only. Once you have even one female everything changes and nobody can be himself. You want us to treat you like one of the guys but this is not going to happen. You are not a guy. Why is this so difficult to understand? Women are the same exact way.
We are not talking about "talking" but hanging around. Quite honestly all of my friends have significant others so when we go out we want to be by ourselves, guys only. Once you have even one female everything changes and nobody can be himself. You want us to treat you like one of the guys but this is not going to happen. You are not a guy. Why is this so difficult to understand? Women are the same exact way.
My guy friends have never censored themselves while I was around. EVER.
I'm supposed to be going to a concert with 3 of my guy friends (two of which are single) on Saturday. Guess I should cancel since I shouldn't be hanging out with them.
My guy friends have never censored themselves while I was around. EVER.
And how do you really know that, huh?
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