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Unread 09-26-2012, 04:26 PM
 
2,079 posts, read 1,203,237 times
Reputation: 839
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I have never been told by anyone that I am intimidating.

I don't think I am.
you intimidate me.

-pextra

There, first time for everything
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Unread 09-26-2012, 04:28 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
10,788 posts, read 5,031,332 times
Reputation: 7882
Quote:
Originally Posted by PosterExtraordinaire View Post
you intimidate me.

-pextra

There, first time for everything
Really?
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Unread 09-26-2012, 04:35 PM
 
10,037 posts, read 6,008,697 times
Reputation: 15054
I've been told Im intimidating because of my height and because of my look. Apparently I look unfriendly?

Im actually quite friendly, but I guess I give the stay-the-hell-away vibes off.
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Unread 09-26-2012, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
14,203 posts, read 8,296,843 times
Reputation: 9103
If someone says I am intimidating (I am so soft-spoken I find it hilarious) there are usually a few reasons:
1. they think I am "too much" smarter than they are due to my job, college choice or the way I speak
2. I am opinionated and will happily debate with you on the topic (without backing down) even when dealing with someone who has more "power"
3. and to echo other people, knowing what you want can be intimidating for some people

I just ignore the people who decide to be intimidated. It seems a little weird to me, but I don't really get intimidated -- it is apparently genetic in my family.
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Unread 09-26-2012, 05:26 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,034 posts, read 526,484 times
Reputation: 2034
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I think it could be a number of things... I've been told more times than I can remember that I'm intimidating. Either because of my education, my career, my height, my body shape, my attitude etc. I'm a very happy person and made friends easily so it's not necessarily my personality.

I think a lot of men are insecure about women who may be 'better' than they are. Guys usually like me until they find out about my career or ask me about my education...then all of a sudden they find something else that's interesting and walk away. Sometimes I think I should just tell them I'm a medical receptionist and be done with it. I did meet an awesome guy who works as a satellite technician at a local aerospace company who is fantastic...but he won't date women taller than he is and he's quite a bit shorter than I am I have zero luck in this world


The highlighted has been an issue for me, and a bit of a pet peeve. I work in Law Enforcement. I have had guys come up to me to talk to me, then their eyes get big as saucers when I tell them what I do. Another guy said he didnt like guns. Well heck, I carry it legally and for a job I can see if the guy was a career criminal how he might back off, but im talking about every day working people. I feel like guys will think I will go home with my gun on demanding that they show me their hands or something Umm..no..I wont..unless that turns you on or something.. LOL Im still a woman..and I like a MAN.
My job is just that..a job. Away from my job I want to be held in the arms of a man and feel secure just like any other woman.

I remember another time when I was working and actually in uniform. This guy walks up to me and says a bit sheepishly " I hope you dont think Im being out of line..but you have beautiful eyes". I was like,no im not offended by that. Heck who doesnt like compliments? Im still a woman! People have preconceived notions about how certain people will be. Well, thats like saying every single cop..lawyer..doctor..plumber...roofer...maintenanc e guy..etc will act and behave the EXACT same way just because of their profession. That is not true. I go to work and see tons of different personalities there. You may run into some who act a certain way, but others certainly do not.

You have to get to know the person..not the job/race/etc..... You could be introduced to two dentists who are absolute jerks. But the vry next one you meet could be the nicest person you ever met. Dont let that person have to pay for something someone else did.

I remember one day we had some 'offenders' doing their court ordered community work and cleaning up around the outside of our department. One guy kind of checks me out..hestitates because im sure he was thinking...she's a cop and im obviously on the wrong side of the law..but..he must have said screw it! He looks at me and flashes me the biggest smile and says something flirtatious to me. I had to laugh and smile because although he knows we are on two different paths, he had the balls enough to say something to me anyway.

Its easy to say, but I wish men would not be intimidated. If you approach a woman, and she acts like a b--tch, then to h*ll with her. Why would you want to be bothered with her anyway? Someone would really have to be saying some really crude, nasty, sexually explicit stuff to me for me to act that way. I have never, ever..ever, not been friendly and respectful if someone tries to approach me or pays me a compliment, whether im interested or not. You can still have some manners amd be polite to people whether they are your type or not.
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Unread 09-26-2012, 05:33 PM
 
4,783 posts, read 2,320,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
I've been told Im intimidating because of my height and because of my look. Apparently I look unfriendly?

Im actually quite friendly, but I guess I give the stay-the-hell-away vibes off.
I can imagine many women are not necessarily “intimidating”. They might give the wrong impression with their facial expression or body posture and guys simply rather move on. When women spot men and get turned off it doesn’t mean the man is intimidating, he just sends the wrong vibes off as well.
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Unread 09-26-2012, 05:37 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,135 posts, read 12,420,969 times
Reputation: 15615
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
I can imagine many women are not necessarily “intimidating”. They might give the wrong impression with their facial expression or body posture and guys simply rather move on. When women spot men and get turned off it doesn’t mean the man is intimidating, he just sends the wrong vibes off as well.
Maybe, but it is telling when I can talk to a guy for an hour or more and he excuses himself soon after I tell him I'm an engineer who works in aviation. Weird how that works. I was fine for that first hour, but after that I changed?
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Unread 09-26-2012, 05:40 PM
Status: ":)" (set 24 days ago)
 
4,151 posts, read 2,602,594 times
Reputation: 1490
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993 View Post
I've been told by more than a handful of guys that I'm intimidating, but I think it's a crock. There's nothing intimidating about me...I'm quiet, soft-spoken for the most part, book-ish, and definitely on the shy/introverted side until I get to know someone well.

What exactly does it mean when a guy says he's intimidated by a woman? Is it her demeanor? Appearance? What? I see that mentioned a lot here, usually in regards to a guy not wanting to approach a woman.
Very good looks. They way they are dressed and height. The way they present themselves.
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Unread 09-26-2012, 05:40 PM
 
1,475 posts, read 579,869 times
Reputation: 2504
I have been told that my 5'2 self is intimidating as well. When I asked why, the dudes just shrugged and said they didn't know why but I give off that vibe. I call it my creep repellent.

I take it as a compliment
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Unread 09-26-2012, 05:42 PM
 
4,783 posts, read 2,320,162 times
Reputation: 2337
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Maybe, but it is telling when I can talk to a guy for an hour or more and he excuses himself soon after I tell him I'm an engineer who works in aviation. Weird how that works. I was fine for that first hour, but after that I changed?
Imagine you are talking to a guy who after an hour or so starts telling you about how he is a Star Trek fan and collects everything related to Star Trek or about his ant farm or something. You might be like “…eerrrr, umh…” and maybe endure standing there listening about it or moving on. It’s not intimidation. Some women might feel empowered “Look at me, I intimidate men as I am so intelligent, so beautiful” but it’s not always like that. Men find something they get turned off about and move on. How would a man sound if women avoid him and have him go “Oh, must be because I am too intelligent and handsome, yup, I intimidate women around me”.
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