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I am not talking about "coming home and telling the women what to do". We are not children. All I am saying is that there has to be someone who is the leader in major things, like finances or purchase decisions.
I made twice as much as my wife, should she be able to voice her opinion on my purchase decisions?
Who is cooking from scratch in 2012? Do you even know what it means to cook from scratch??? LOL
I am a guy who can cook, I like to eat well and not be fat.
I know what it takes to cook a meal. Real meal not some hotdogs on a plate. Mash potatoes or baked potato + chicken cultlet and salad. Pasta and meatballs. Chicken Pad Thai. That's about 30 minutes tops and it takes as much time to cook for one as for three people. People are simply lazy and their parents did not teach them anything. Both men and women.
I am college grad and can do light carpentry and electric work. There are women nowadys who can't prepare a decent meal. After all, who said that women should know how to cook, right?
Everybody is complaining nowadays but with fridges, microwaves, washer/driers, dishwashers and packaged goods cooking does not take much. Washing clothes is not an issue yet when you listen to some women today you might believe that our grandparents did not have to cook from scratch or sweep floors with a broom or wash dishes in a sink.
The only time consuming aspect is actually taking care of the kids. I know it. Until they go to kindergarden that by itself is a full time job. I am a guy and have a son so it is easier, you can always go play catch or to the park.
Please don't tell me that in 2012 and with all the technology to your avail you can't do a job that our grandmothers did in 1912 with none of that tech and five or six children to add.
Its not easy to be a guy in 2012 and bring a pycheck home that covers mortgage and all expenses. It's not a walk in the part in the office. Appreciate the fact that you don't have to deal with stupid bosses and arogant clients and mornig rush hour. Sometimes I wish I could stay home.
Then again it is not my personality.
Wow...LOL, I pity the circle of people you associate with, if you don't know people who cook from scratch! Also, you're not visiting too many of the thread topics here on CD, if you don't realize that MANY people not only cook EVERYTHING from scratch, but grow, can and freeze their foods for year-round consumption. Excuse me, but many of us do not rely solely on 2012 technology.
Yes, I cook from scratch....from fresh, raw meats and vegetables, do not use Minute Rice or "box mixes", nor are "instant" mashed potatoes, tator tots, pre-made french fries, etc. used in this home. In fact, I rarely even use a food processor. We also BAKE from scratch.
Also...newsflash! It's not any easier being a woman, who is bringing home the paycheck. Yes, my husband and I have each been the "main breadwinners" in this household. Big deal. One's doing a job they're being paid for, one's doing the other stuff. Again..in a functional relationship, everything's just a job. One is no more important than another. By working TOGETHER, not AGAINST each other, we have NO mortgage, as we have managed our money wisely and paid off our home...TOGETHER.
We also BOTH are incredibly knowledgable concerning all aspects of home repair and construction as well as mechanical and plumbing and electrical knowledge. He has automotive and metal working tools and I PERSONALLY am the one with all of the other tools. Yes, MINE! We have an enormous workshop. He has HIS end and I have MY end. I also have MY enormous greenhouse and am the gardener. Also, currently, I am the only one currently "bringing home the paycheck", as he has been unemployed for nearly a year now and has been unable to find another job.
So.....excuse me if I don't fawn over how difficult it is for "poor little men who are having to bring home that bacon". He is the one making out the checks each month for the bills. He is the one currently having to "manage what we have coming in"...so does he have a SAY in how that money is spent? Damn straight he does! Just like I did when HE was the one bringing home that paycheck. When two people get married and "two become one"....it's OUR money, OUR home, OUR children.....OUR lives. Decisions are made together. No one is blowing the household money randomly and/or irresponsibly. BTW....we BOTH have degrees. In fact....I have TWO of them and am certified in yet a third field, so spare me, okay?
Not different at all. That's my point: when women are in a position of power they act exactly like men.
Then perhaps it's not that they're "acting like men" as much as they are acting as someone who has responsibility and power, which is not at all tied to gender.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands - On this passage, compare notes on 1 Corinthians 11:3-9. The duty of the submission of the wife to her husband is everywhere enjoined in the Scriptures; see 1 Peter 3:1; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5. While Christianity designed to elevate the character of the wife, and to make her a fit companion of an intelligent and pious husband, it did not intend to destroy all subordination and authority. Man, by the fact that he was first created; that the woman was taken from him; that he is better qualified for ruling than she is, is evidently designed to be at the head of the little community that constitutes a family. In many other things, woman may be his equal; in loveliness, and grace, and beauty, and tenderness, and gentleness, she is far his superior; but these are not the qualities adapted for government. Their place is in another sphere; and "there," man should be as cautious about invading her prerogative, or abridging her liberty, as "she" should be about invading the prerogative that belongs to him. In every family there should be a head - someone who is to be looked up to as the counselor and the ruler; someone to whom all should be subordinate. God has given that prerogative to man; and no family prospers where that arrangement is violated. Within proper metes and limits, therefore, it is the duty of the wife to obey, or to submit herself to her husband.
That's pretty clear to me. It's the man's job to lead.
How is that any different than men who don't have time to be fathers or husbands and let the women pick up all the slack outside of the hours they are at work?
Oh that is ENTIRELY different! I mean......isn't it!?
Men are leaders and ability to lead is a masculine trait. Women want, seek and need that in a man. It doesnt mean that his woman becomes his slave or anything close to it. It just means that a man is the head of the family and is expected to lead when needed. Him and his wife are still partners in every sense. You have a wrong perspective.
What??!?!? That doesn't make a man and woman partners, that puts a woman second and a man first.
It's this sort of thinking that disgusts me.
A man is expected to lead, really? What fifties sitcom did you just come from?
Men and women are to be equals in everything, including what one would consider a " leadership " role.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebel12
I am not talking about "coming home and telling the women what to do". We are not children. All I am saying is that there has to be someone who is the leader in major things, like finances or purchase decisions.
I made twice as much as my wife, should she be able to voice her opinion on my purchase decisions?
Uh, YEAH
She's your wife, your partner.
She should have an equal say in how you guys spend/save your money.
I was willing to give you some credit before now, but you just lost your credibility with that statement.
Interesting.
My husband and I have separate bank accounts. I mean,we are each on the others' accounts, and we can see activity on those accounts via our online banking - not that we scrutinize that activity. Of course, we make major financial decisions together, but as far as daily spending goes, we both simply stick to our budget and within that budget we spend as we please.
(Though I don't work outside the home, I do keep the books for my husband's business, and there is an automatic deposit from the business account into my personal account twice a month.)
For example, I just went shopping yesterday. I hit up a good clearance sale. My husband simply doesn't care, because I stick within my budget. I didn't tell him about it because he would be uninterested. If he asked, I would tell him of course - but he won't ask. He doesn't interfere with how I spend my money.
He came home a couple of years ago with a sheepish look on his face. He said, "Baby, I had to do it. I bought something." Turns out he got a good deal on something and had spent about $600. I said, "Did this keep you from being able to pay any of the bills you pay?" He said, "No." I said, "Is this going to have some sort of negative consequence to us financially?" He said, "No." So I said, "Ok, great - why do you feel like you have to confess it to me? It's your money."
A few weeks ago, I told him, "Next time you're out of town, I think I am going to fly out to Virginia to see my daughter." He said, "No problem - it's your money."
I love it.
We don't hide things from each other, but we don't have to "ask permission." Of course, we talk things out, like trips or large purchases, and of course we have a budget and expectations of each other - and we make joint decisions regarding savings and investments. But when it comes to expendable income - we don't interfere with each other.
And my husband DOES make a lot more money than I do. He's responsible financially as well. So I feel like he can call the shots a bit more than I do. Example - recently he wanted to buy a boat. That's a big ticket item. To be honest, I don't much care about a boat, and I would never come home and say, "I decided to spend $20,000 so we're doing it." But he brings home the bacon - and he wanted a boat.
So we got a boat. He's thrilled, and I am supportive. He works hard, he deserves it.
Would she be able? at times, maybe. It doesnt mean that a woman is expected never to have a say in decisions and so on. Its just that some women tend to be indecisive at best, so some decisions need to be finalized by the head of the family, who keeps everyones best interest at heart. Can you imagine a woman president responding to pearl harbor or 9/11 attacks?
"lets retaliate"
"no, lets not, we will wait"
"lets bomb them"
" should we?"
"maybe we should retaliate"
" maybe not"
"do i look fat in this dress?"
"i like choclate"
"lets retaliate"
Im aware that this is a traditional role division, but i believe that families led by men, are stronger units in general. Once again, it doesnt mean that a woman has to play a submissive role of any sort or that she isnt considered an equal partner.
Many of us including myself are guilty of feeding a troll.
Wow...LOL, I pity the circle of people you associate with, if you don't know people who cook from scratch! Also, you're not visiting too many of the thread topics here on CD, if you don't realize that MANY people not only cook EVERYTHING from scratch, but grow, can and freeze their foods for year-round consumption. Excuse me, but many of us do not rely solely on 2012 technology.
Yes, I cook from scratch....from fresh, raw meats and vegetables, do not use Minute Rice or "box mixes", nor are "instant" mashed potatoes, tator tots, pre-made french fries, etc. used in this home. In fact, I rarely even use a food processor. We also BAKE from scratch.
Also...newsflash! It's not any easier being a woman, who is bringing home the paycheck. Yes, my husband and I have each been the "main breadwinners" in this household. Big deal. One's doing a job they're being paid for, one's doing the other stuff. Again..in a functional relationship, everything's just a job. One is no more important than another. By working TOGETHER, not AGAINST each other, we have NO mortgage, as we have managed our money wisely and paid off our home...TOGETHER.
We also BOTH are incredibly knowledgable concerning all aspects of home repair and construction as well as mechanical and plumbing and electrical knowledge. He has automotive and metal working tools and I PERSONALLY am the one with all of the other tools. Yes, MINE! We have an enormous workshop. He has HIS end and I have MY end. I also have MY enormous greenhouse and am the gardener. Also, currently, I am the only one currently "bringing home the paycheck", as he has been unemployed for nearly a year now and has been unable to find another job.
So.....excuse me if I don't fawn over how difficult it is for "poor little men who are having to bring home that bacon". He is the one making out the checks each month for the bills. He is the one currently having to "manage what we have coming in"...so does he have a SAY in how that money is spent? Damn straight he does! Just like I did when HE was the one bringing home that paycheck. When two people get married and "two become one"....it's OUR money, OUR home, OUR children.....OUR lives. Decisions are made together. No one is blowing the household money randomly and/or irresponsibly. BTW....we BOTH have degrees. In fact....I have TWO of them and am certified in yet a third field, so spare me, okay?
Cripes. You have the life I want, lol. Currently shopping for a house with a big yard so I can grow all my own food.
That's pretty clear to me. It's the man's job to lead.
Unless you take the time to do the study and understand the audience that the message was written for, and the times in which it was written, you will never interpret God's intentions correctly.
Guys like you have been using this literal approach to the Bible for generations to justify things like slavery and abuse of women.
Context ALWAYS matters my friend.
Until you get that you will continue to be unevolved, misled and misinformed.
Not different at all. That's my point: when women are in a position of power they act exactly like men.
From my observation it doesn't really work out like that though, because in most cases, the men don't pick up the slack. The woman(whether she is a power position or not)...still has to find a way to get things done. Maybe that means hiring household help, or paying others to carpool her kids around. Men who work generally don't worry about this stuff as much, regardless of whether they are in a power position or not.
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He is the one making out the checks each month for the bills. He is the one currently having to "manage what we have coming in"...so does he have a SAY in how that money is spent? Damn straight he does! Just like I did when HE was the one bringing home that paycheck. When two people get married and "two become one"....it's OUR money, OUR home, OUR children.....OUR lives. Decisions are made together. No one is blowing the household money randomly and/or irresponsibly. BTW....we BOTH have degrees. In fact....I have TWO of them and am certified in yet a third field, so spare me, okay? 
