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I think you guys know what he's trying to say.
That most divorces aren't about mentally or physically abusive households.
It's about selfish people who can't or don't want to try to get along.
While this may create a bad atmosphere for the children, it's not the primary issue. It's a side effect of bad behavior.
There is no defense of "high level of abuse." I'd really like to know what exactly he means by that.
I misquoted myself. If someone is getting physically abused, they should leave instantly. If they are being emotionally abused, you have to leave if you believe that that the abuse is hurting your kid. There is no way around the fact that divorce hurts kids a lot.
I would venture to guess that the average divorced kid does worse than a 2 parent household where the parents argue every other day. I'm not sure there are stats on it, but I would make that bet.
Thank you.
Adding - It's not a good idea nor is it healthy for children to be around constant arguing. We will have to disagree on that point.
You don't need abuse to have a caustic home environment.
It's caustic because the adults have allowed it to become this way by allowing or causing their relationship to deteriorate.
Y'all are acting like relationships fall apart by themselves and toxic environments just crop up out of nowhere. So of course the logical conclusion is divorce and it's no one's fault.
I call b.s.
I misquoted myself. If someone is getting physically abused, they should leave instantly. If they are being emotionally abused, you have to leave if you believe that that the abuse is hurting your kid. There is no way around the fact that divorce hurts kids a lot.
I would venture to guess that the average divorced kid does worse than a 2 parent household where the parents argue every other day. I'm not sure there are stats on it, but I would make that bet.
But if the emotional abuse is damaging the parent then they should suck it up and deal with it?
It's simply when a marriage is composed of two equal partners there is a far bigger likelihood of divorce versus if one just submitted to the other. That's the deal here, and wrong or right depending on how you look at it.
It's caustic because the adults have allowed it to become this way by allowing or causing their relationship to deteriorate.
Y'all are acting like relationships fall apart by themselves and toxic environments just crop up out of nowhere. So of course the logical conclusion is divorce and it's no one's fault.
I call b.s.
There is always culpability in a divorce. Most states offer a no fault divorce. From the courts standpoint, it doesn't matter. Staying in a bad relationship for the sake of the children is often unhealthy. Selfishness or whatever other reason cited is not good. However, the assumtion that there is always verbal or physical abuse, it isn't always the case.
I believe you are confusing the cause and effect relationship of divorced parents = bad children when in fact it should go like this.
Bad parents = bad children. Now, MAYBE you could say that divorced couples tend to be bad parents, but I wouldn't even label that as such. People can be a BAD HUSBAND or BAD WIFE and still be an EXCELLENT PARENT.
It's simply when a marriage is composed of two equal partners there is a far bigger likelihood of divorce versus if one just submitted to the other. That's the deal here, and wrong or right depending on how you look at it.
I think that depends on the personalities of the people involved and how open they are to compromise.
The numbers don't lie. Divorce is clearly detrimental especially to a child's upbringing.
It's not the divorce that is detrimental, it's how the parents handle the divorce that messes up the kids.
If one or both parents act like selfish jerks, replaces the kids with "newer models," badmouths their former spouse, then that's detrimental to the child's upbringing.
If both parents act like adults, respect their child and address his/her concerns, then the kid will be less affected.
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