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I agree. With so many laws about sexual harrassment, it seems like men can't figure out how to approach women anymore.
When I was single, I always noticed that foreign men never had any problems flirting with me or telling me that they were interested in me. Foreign men would do all kinds of things if they were interested that men in America would get arrested for. I've lived briefly in France, Spain, Mexico, Colombia, and Brazil--and in those countries men can be very aggressive in their flirting. Some of the things they would do include getting the woman's address from someone and sending her cards and flowers, walking by the woman's house multiple times hoping to run into her, waiting for her outside her job to be able to talk to her, following her around, singing to her outside her window (yes, this still happens!). Men will see you on the bus or train and get off at your stop and start a conversation. Next thing you know, they're inviting you to have a cup of coffee.
I usually found it nice, if it was someone I was attracted to. And the women in these countries generally find that behavior flattering, or at least non-threatening. Men who do this are not considered creeps or psychos. Those are all culturally acceptable ways to let a woman know they are interested.
In America there are so many constraints that men have become very unsure of themselves, unless, as Urban Sasquatch noted, they are too stupid to care.
If you did most of those things in America they'll call the police or have stuff thrown at you. Otherwise I would have already attempted some of these things.
It's broken down into those who fear lawsuits and those who are too stupid to care.
This is sad.
The battle for women's equality wasn't supposed to make men afraid of women or afraid to act like men, it was just supposed to make women get the respect we deserve. We still love respectful attention from men.
Is smiling and saying, "hello" vague? Why is it so hard to respond with a nice, "Hello. How are you doing today?"?
What do you consider vague? What behavior would be NOT vague?
Or better yet, to avoid all that, why can't you just say "hello" yourself?
Well, hello doesn't have the same meaning as "Hey, I wouldn't mind going on a date with this person." I can't count how many times where I was told "Don't talk to me" or flat out ignored just for saying hi in my younger days. Usually if she shows any hesitation or fear whatsoever, I drop it and move on. No need to add pressure if she's going to freak out over a simple "hello".
If you did most of those things in America they'll call the police or have stuff thrown at you. Otherwise I would have already attempted some of these things.
Well it works with some women. The problem is figuring out which women will welcome such behavior.
Some men are not afraid to do a few of these things. Thank goodness my husband wasn't. He had no problem approaching me, talking to me, and asking me out the first time he talked to me. If he hadn't, we would have probably never gotten together, because I am not the type to approach men. I like men who are not shy about approaching me.
Well, hello doesn't have the same meaning as "Hey, I wouldn't mind going on a date with this person." I can't count how many times where I was told "Don't talk to me" or flat out ignored just for saying hi in my younger days. Usually if she shows any hesitation or fear whatsoever, I drop it and move on. No need to add pressure if she's going to freak out over a simple "hello".
"Hello" is a start. You need to break the ice somehow.
But I do agree with you that if she seems hostile or fearful, it's better to move on. I think most women are just afraid a strange man is going to hurt them, so they put up walls to avoid any problems.
Well it works with some women. The problem is figuring out which women will welcome such behavior.
Some men are not afraid to do a few of these things. Thank goodness my husband wasn't. He had no problem approaching me, talking to me, and asking me out the first time he talked to me. If he hadn't, we would have probably never gotten together, because I am not the type to approach men. I like men who are not shy about approaching me.
Yeah. I'm probably not going to find anyone who's open to that kind of flirting. If I were to secretly find someone's address then send some cards to it, they'd probably let me know they didn't appreciate it at all and think it was extremely creepy.
I can certainly see the thoughtfullness of those actions you listed, but I most American women would probably freak out if someone did any of those things, unless they were drop dead gorgeous or something.
But kudos to you for not finding it creepy that your husband's actions were thoughtful and nice.
I think most women are just afraid a strange man is going to hurt them, so they put up walls to avoid any problems.
Yes. Increasingly, it's so not the norm for a man whom a woman doesn't know to approach her, that her first reaction is generally fear.
In other countries, when a strange man approaches a woman, the first reaction is not fear, if he looks normal. Unless the woman is rushing off somewhere and can't talk, her reaction is usually one of curiosity. Most men usually approach with a compliment, so this often puts the woman in a pleasant mood. So even if she's not interested in talking to him, she'll just smile and let him know nicely. No reason to get in a huff about it.
Last edited by Pivot Point; 09-27-2012 at 09:32 PM..
I've noticed that a lot of men don't seem to know how to show their interest in a woman. They are either too passive and fearful, or too obnoxious and in your face.
I find it so frustrating meeting men who seem like they have no idea how to approach a woman in a respectful way to let her know that he is interested in getting to know her. It's so hard to meet people, and some men say that they'd welcome a woman initiating contact with them. So I've tried this, but I'm finding that it doesn't work. Most men do not respond appropriately.
Sometimes I will spot a man whom I find attractive, who's not wearing a wedding ring (not that means anything, but it's a start), and smile and say hello, hoping to initiate a pleasant conversation. Most men seem to fall into one of two camps, 1) the majority who seem unable to seize the opportunity and conduct a normal conversation that leads to an exchange of phone numbers, or 2) the rest who respond in an obnoxious way, glancing at my chest, and dropping sexual hints.
Years ago, men had no problem approaching women respectfully, talking to them, and asking them out for a date.
What is going on nowadays? It was never this complicated 25-30 years ago. What happened to the simple art of flirting? In the past that was how you met each other if there was no one to introduce you.
Most American women are idiots, they are looking for Mr. BodyBuilder, MoneyMaker, or Mr. Suave. American men are confused and have grown tired of American women. I hate American women, I would rather go to Russia, Thailand, Philippines, to date someone. American want money not a decent person, just money they dont care about anything else or they want Mr super attractive. I say why bother, I wont give them the time of day, unless she is speaking with an accent(not Hispanic) like Russian, VietNamese, or some other nationality. American women are the worst, I miss living in Europe where the women are more into relationships, and not so into rich, goodlooking, goons.
Yeah. I'm probably not going to find anyone who's open to that kind of flirting. If I were to secretly find someone's address then send some cards to it, they'd probably let me know they didn't appreciate it at all and think it was extremely creepy.
I can certainly see the thoughtfullness of those actions you listed, but I most American women would probably freak out if someone did any of those things, unless they were drop dead gorgeous or something.
But kudos to you for not finding it creepy that your husband's actions were thoughtful and nice.
Thanks, Prince Frog.
It's sad that men are afraid to show their feelings to women they're interested in. I guess the smart thing to do nowadays is to do these things after you've established some kind of rapport with her. At least that way, you know she's probably receptive.
Hang in there. You'll find someone who appreciates your kindness and eagerness to get to know them. Every pot has a lid!
It's sad that men are afraid to show their feelings to women they're interested in. I guess the smart thing to do nowadays is to do these things after you've established some kind of rapport with her. At least that way, you know she's probably receptive.
Hang in there. You'll find someone who appreciates your kindness and eagerness to get to know them. Every pot has a lid!
Obviously it's not so bad in other countries, it's just extremely different in America.
It's a reason why I haven't even approached a woman in over 2 years now. I will with hold my flirting until a woman shows interest in me somehow, which I know it should be the other way around, but from past experiences, it's the best solution.
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Most American Women are Idiots
