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Old 09-29-2012, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Chicago IL
1,360 posts, read 1,690,452 times
Reputation: 1295

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
Yup, Notice how he made that one post and left.
Your right because men not flirting will cause the sea's go red, the heavens to fall and humanity shall die off replaced by sentient chimps.

That's what I got out of that guys post something that doesn't add or bring anything to the topic posted by the OP.

Much like this very post.
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Old 09-30-2012, 03:06 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,784,942 times
Reputation: 28561
Quote:
Originally Posted by LIS123 View Post
Can someone (preferably female) elaborate on this a little further? Let's say that a woman in a coffee shop, bar, etc. knows that a man who even says Hello or 'What are you studying,' etc is trying to see if there is potential/hitting on them. What can a man do to make themselves come off as less creepy, more friendly etc?

I don't speak to women in these situations often, but my 'tactic' if you will is to keep it general and off the topic of dating, etc until the very end. At that time, we can exchange names, cards etc and see if there is potential for a date.
Read the basic body language:
is she facing you? does she look distracted? is she looking at you when you talk? is she looking away like she wants an escape? Did she put away her shields (book, cell phone, headphones, newspaper, computer).


If she is looking at you and facing you, she is probably more apt to be paying attention to your conversation attempt.
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:09 AM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,715,243 times
Reputation: 1277
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Read the basic body language:
is she facing you? does she look distracted? is she looking at you when you talk? is she looking away like she wants an escape? Did she put away her shields (book, cell phone, headphones, newspaper, computer).


If she is looking at you and facing you, she is probably more apt to be paying attention to your conversation attempt.
Uhh, there are caveats to that. Just bc a woman pays attention to you while holding a conversation doesn't necessarily means that she's flirting with you. If there is prior interaction of some sort then I could see where it might be flirting but even then it could be that she is just a good listener. You can assume everything but sometimes it's best to not assume until actions prove otherwise.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:06 AM
 
5,654 posts, read 5,143,709 times
Reputation: 5624
Default Have men lost the art of flirting?

Certainly not.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Chicago IL
1,360 posts, read 1,690,452 times
Reputation: 1295
Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
Uhh, there are caveats to that. Just bc a woman pays attention to you while holding a conversation doesn't necessarily means that she's flirting with you. If there is prior interaction of some sort then I could see where it might be flirting but even then it could be that she is just a good listener. You can assume everything but sometimes it's best to not assume until actions prove otherwise.
This has me confused to and I will need help having this explained. What I'm hearing these ladies is what they call flirting is just good conversation skills is how I am interpreting it. I guess its they want a guy to make a good guess that her body language shows she's interested vs just being a good listener.

So guys I guess with have to roll the dice and hope with guess right is what I'm getting.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:51 AM
 
16,488 posts, read 24,439,512 times
Reputation: 16339
I have never seen a guy flirt, it has always seemed like a "woman" thing to me. I think both sexes are so afraid of rejection these days that it really stiffles the dating process. It kind of reminds me of 8th grade dances, remember? All the girls would be on one side of the room and the boys on the other side. Both parties were too afraid to cross the room and ask for a dance. More often than not it was the girls that finally figured out they were never going to get to dance if they didn't go over, which we did. The boys always said yes. I think we are all so afraid of being turned down and how awful that feels that we don't always let the opposite sex know we are interested.
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Old 09-30-2012, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Chicago IL
1,360 posts, read 1,690,452 times
Reputation: 1295
Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
I have never seen a guy flirt, it has always seemed like a "woman" thing to me. I think both sexes are so afraid of rejection these days that it really stiffles the dating process. It kind of reminds me of 8th grade dances, remember? All the girls would be on one side of the room and the boys on the other side. Both parties were too afraid to cross the room and ask for a dance. More often than not it was the girls that finally figured out they were never going to get to dance if they didn't go over, which we did. The boys always said yes. I think we are all so afraid of being turned down and how awful that feels that we don't always let the opposite sex know we are interested.
I wish people weren't so hung up on these differences then men and women would get along better in my opinion.
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Old 09-30-2012, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,582,558 times
Reputation: 16395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie1249 View Post
These men are abusers who are used to being with women who have low self-esteem. They are so insecure themselves that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to hurt another person.

It's interesting that they use this approach. Usually abusers are very good flirts. They use false charm to lure a woman in, and then the abuse escalates as the relationship goes on.

So I guess it's good that these men show show their abusive nature at the very beginning. This makes it easier for women to stay away from them.
This is exactly how I feel as well. I'm REALLY hesitant with men who seem like charmers because they've probably done it to a million other women and are generally only into trying to get sex. Just read some of the posts by CDs very own 'casanovas' about how they treat women, and how they brag about charming a woman into sex within a few hours of meeting her. Stay away from these men, they're no good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LIS123 View Post
Can someone (preferably female) elaborate on this a little further? Let's say that a woman in a coffee shop, bar, etc. knows that a man who even says Hello or 'What are you studying,' etc is trying to see if there is potential/hitting on them. What can a man do to make themselves come off as less creepy, more friendly etc?

I don't speak to women in these situations often, but my 'tactic' if you will is to keep it general and off the topic of dating, etc until the very end. At that time, we can exchange names, cards etc and see if there is potential for a date.
If she's not interested, she's not interested. The more you push the more irritated she's going to be, and unfortunately there's not much you can do to to change that. If you say 'hi' and she glances and says hi and goes back to her work, she's probably not interested in being approached by anyone. If she stops what she's doing and says hello, go from that.
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Old 09-30-2012, 10:42 AM
 
9,659 posts, read 10,210,539 times
Reputation: 3225
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
This is exactly how I feel as well. I'm REALLY hesitant with men who seem like charmers because they've probably done it to a million other women and are generally only into trying to get sex. Just read some of the posts by CDs very own 'casanovas' about how they treat women, and how they brag about charming a woman into sex within a few hours of meeting her. Stay away from these men, they're no good.



If she's not interested, she's not interested. The more you push the more irritated she's going to be, and unfortunately there's not much you can do to to change that. If you say 'hi' and she glances and says hi and goes back to her work, she's probably not interested in being approached by anyone. If she stops what she's doing and says hello, go from that.
What do you mean by seem like charmers? I thought charming men are desirable? *Guess I was wrong, guess I should act like a slob.*


*sarcasm.
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Old 09-30-2012, 10:48 AM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,963,134 times
Reputation: 13949
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
This is exactly how I feel as well. I'm REALLY hesitant with men who seem like charmers because they've probably done it to a million other women and are generally only into trying to get sex. Just read some of the posts by CDs very own 'casanovas' about how they treat women, and how they brag about charming a woman into sex within a few hours of meeting her. Stay away from these men, they're no good.



If she's not interested, she's not interested. The more you push the more irritated she's going to be, and unfortunately there's not much you can do to to change that. If you say 'hi' and she glances and says hi and goes back to her work, she's probably not interested in being approached by anyone. If she stops what she's doing and says hello, go from that.
I think you've called me charming in the past, and you oughta know that I'm not using people for sex.
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