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Ditch this drama queen already. I would be really put off by her reply...I have a new policy - if someone flakes on me they are done. I don't care what their excuse is. You do not flake on someone you really are interested in seeing. It sounds to me like she flaked, decided she didn't have any better options, so now she wants to see you again. No way.
Right on.
When I was dating, I met this really hot guy online and then in person. We hit it off immediately and boy did the sparks fly. For a couple of weeks, we were with each other nearly constantly. WOW.
However, we weren't talking about long term stuff, or even monogamy at that point - we were just really really having one helluva time together.
So - he called me up one, oh, Monday or so and said, "Let's go out someplace special Friday night!" I said, "Cool! I'd love to." We agreed to do a little independent research about what was going on in the area and get back together the next day with some ideas and make some specific plans for Friday night. But whatever we decided to do, Friday night we were going to do something.
He told me that he was working out of town for the next 2 days so he would call me Tuesday night and we'd nail down where we were going.
Tuesday night, no call. Wednesday night, no call. By Thursday at lunch, I had made other plans with other people.
Friday around 6 he called and said, "So...are we still going out tonight?"
I said, "Hmm, don't know about you, but I am. I'm going out with some other people."
There was this long silence and then he said, "Oh. I thought we'd go out somewhere."
I laughed and said, "Yes, I thought we were going to go someplace special and that we would get together and decide exactly where when you called on Tuesday night after work."
"Yeah, well...I got really busy," he said.
"Yeah, me too," I said. "I guess we're just not that into each other."
"What?" he exclaimed.
I said, "You told me you would call me Tuesday - do you remember that?" "Yes," he said.
I said, "This is the 21st century. We have text, voice mail, email, snail mail, telegraph, carrier pigeons, UPS, FedEx, Western Union, planes with banners, billboards, you name it. Are you telling me that it was impossible for you to contact me till now?"
Then he said THIS - and I am not making this up!
"Well, I haven't told you this yet, but I work for Homeland Security and I was on a secret, sensitive mission."
Unbelievable.
No, we did not go out that weekend!
A few weeks later, he contacted me again, and told me - again - that he really did work for Homeland Security and that he could prove it to me, so let's PLEASE go out again. Please please please. Against my better judgment, we did. Mistake. Total waste of time.
JERK! When they flake early - let 'em flake and wash your hands of them! So many men, so little time!
Update to this thread: I know you all will say I am nuts for even giving this lady another chance. But here it goes:
This lady apologized for flaking on our 2nd date. Last Saturday she asked me to go out dancing with her on Friday night (today).
I called her last night to confirm our planned date for tonight (Friday). No call back from her until today at lunch time. I was out on a business lunch so I missed her call. Her message, if I heard her correctly, is that she wants to bring a friend on our date! Our plan was to go dancing......
Again, this would only be our 2nd date. First date was over a month ago.
Is it just me or is the friend idea really ridiculous? This is a 36 yr old woman. We are not in junior high. Should I just kick this gal to the curb now or convince her to leave her friend out of it? There was no mention of her friend joining us until today.
Oh, Corazon. That stinks. It is funny, though, right? If you understood her correctly and she wants to bring a friend, that doesn't seem like a "date." If you don't have other plans to make on the fly, you could always go out and have a good time and hit on her friend. baha Or just go have a good time and never talk to her again. She does seem seriously flaky.
In another thread I mentioned I got flaked on for a 2nd date by this woman. I had to text her the evening of the date to find out she was flaking and even then she was not at all apologetic or clear.
Three days later she sent a text with an apology. I replied saying "Thank you. No worries., etc."
She called me that night. We talked for 5 or 10 minutes. I made no mention of her flaking on the date. I also did NOT ask her out again and she did not suggest we get together either. So I left it at that.
She called me last night but left no message. I did not return her call.
So today she sent me a text saying, "How about we go out next weekend to such and such place."
I replied with, "Sure, let's go. I believe in 2nd chances but not 3rd chances. LOL."
She replied with, "Call me when you can. You should be flattered that I am asking you out. Uugghh."
Also, please note that she technically flaked on our first date. But I gave her a 2nd chance. Our first date went fine. No drama. There was some chemistry, etc. Finally, please note that in my courting of this gal she has been quick to talk about all the other guys chasing her including doctors, etc.
Perhaps I should not have made the remark about 2nd chances? I was trying to inject some humor while also letting her know I only have so much patience.
Should I run as far away as possible now or make an attempt at reparing the damage?
Oh, Corazon. That stinks. It is funny, though, right? If you understood her correctly and she wants to bring a friend, that doesn't seem like a "date." If you don't have other plans to make on the fly, you could always go out and have a good time and hit on her friend. baha Or just go have a good time and never talk to her again. She does seem seriously flaky.
Yes, precisely mine concern. I may just call her after work and tell her to forget about it or I'll go and hope her friend is cute....LOL.
Update to this thread: I know you all will say I am nuts for even giving this lady another chance. But here it goes:
This lady apologized for flaking on our 2nd date. Last Saturday she asked me to go out dancing with her on Friday night (today).
I called her last night to confirm our planned date for tonight (Friday). No call back from her until today at lunch time. I was out on a business lunch so I missed her call. Her message, if I heard her correctly, is that she wants to bring a friend on our date! Our plan was to go dancing......
Again, this would only be our 2nd date. First date was over a month ago.
Is it just me or is the friend idea really ridiculous? This is a 36 yr old woman. We are not in junior high. Should I just kick this gal to the curb now or convince her to leave her friend out of it? There was no mention of her friend joining us until today.
Sounds like she's toying you around.. How about you confront her and say, "Hey. I thought we were going out on a date. What's with you friend joining us?"
Don't worry about what she thinks- if she truly likes you in that way, she'll at least respect your question and really see how she's not being cool about the whole situation.
She could also be bringing her friend along to size you up to see what she thinks. She could also be user. Either way- she did flake. She might be a total hotmess you'd want to let go of. Before you do, at least give her a piece of your mind by telling her what she did was not cool. You can speak up for yourself and put her in check for her disrespectful attitude.
Update to this thread: I know you all will say I am nuts for even giving this lady another chance. But here it goes:
This lady apologized for flaking on our 2nd date. Last Saturday she asked me to go out dancing with her on Friday night (today).
I called her last night to confirm our planned date for tonight (Friday). No call back from her until today at lunch time. I was out on a business lunch so I missed her call. Her message, if I heard her correctly, is that she wants to bring a friend on our date! Our plan was to go dancing......
Again, this would only be our 2nd date. First date was over a month ago.
Is it just me or is the friend idea really ridiculous? This is a 36 yr old woman. We are not in junior high. Should I just kick this gal to the curb now or convince her to leave her friend out of it? There was no mention of her friend joining us until today.
I would meet up with her if I had absolutely nothing to do, AND only if I was up for it. But, I would not buy any drinks, bar cover charges, meals, etc. (nothing!)
This person is playing serious games with you.
If your instincts are telling you something, LISTEN. This is waaaaaaaaaaaaay to early for her to be pulling this.
She will use you badly, if you let her. Don't let her
edit: I just read that the 1st date was a month ago. She is not interested in you romantically. This will only be a friend situation for you AT BEST.
I replied with, "Sure, let's go. I believe in 2nd chances but not 3rd chances. LOL."
i for one cannot believe this passive aggressive gem was not a panty-dropper
anyway just listen to capt jack he's pretty much got this thread covered
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