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well... ok... so I invited him out with me and a friend. Don't know if he will want to come
I guess I'll have to just wait and see how this all pans out
I just think that a proper date is a man asking a woman out for some activity, a meal, drink, or coffee
The man should ask...
Women asking men out more often would solve the problem of a lot of broken hearts and "what if's", both female and male.
Ladies...give the guy a lil break sometimes; he may actually like you a lot, but just might be scared that you will reject him! And rejection can obviously hurt very much and be rather devastating to a person, man or not...
I for one salute the OP for her attempt at asking the guy she is interested in out!
As much as people hope to change things, men are still men and women are still women. Call me old fashioned if you like, but the reverse isn't true. If a man is interested, he will ask. Men do the approaching and women do not. Women who do approach are generally undesirable types, which is why they have to approach in the first place. This is true online and IRL.
It doesn't have to be this way, though...people do it "just because that's how it's been done in the past" and because it has traditionally been the way of things. If you really think about it though, as I have on quite a few occasions, the question becomes more "why do people let these silly traditions take such precedence over their lives"?
If a girl likes a guy: why not simply forget about arbitrary "tradition", and ask him out already? Please remember, guys have feelings and human hearts, too...if a guy has been rejected one too many times and by a statistically-significant number of girls, eventually and after enough time, it hurts -- and in some cases very deeply. A guy might be completely head-over-heels for a gal, but also think something "She's out of my league / I will only get rejected again / She is too good for me and will only say no anyway, even if ask I her".
Ladies, my point here is that it's not always the case that he doesn't like you or isn't into you, that he doesn't ask you out -- but it's oftentimes because he may think the answer is always going to be a "No", no matter what he says or does. That he doesn't have any chance at winning your heart anyway, no matter how hard he tries. That the odds of you potentially saying "Yes" are virtually hopeless. I've been there, personally, for many years...and I cannot tell you incredibly and miraculously it would have lifted my heart with pure joy, if a girl who had actually liked me romantically had asked me out, during that time I was in that pit of darkest despair and deepest sorrow.
Anyway, just wanted elaborate a lil more, from a guy's perspective here is all...
It doesn't have to be this way, though...people do it "just because that's how it's been done in the past" and because it has traditionally been the way of things. If you really think about it though, as I have on quite a few occasions, the question becomes more "why do people let these silly traditions take such precedence over their lives"?
If a girl likes a guy: why not simply forget about arbitrary "tradition", and ask him out already? Please remember, guys have feelings and human hearts, too...if a guy has been rejected one too many times and by a statistically-significant number of girls, eventually and after enough time, it hurts -- and in some cases very deeply. A guy might be completely head-over-heels for a gal, but also think something "She's out of my league / I will only get rejected again / She is too good for me and will only say no anyway, even if ask I her".
Ladies, my point here is that it's not always the case that he doesn't like you or isn't into you, that he doesn't ask you out -- but it's oftentimes because he may think the answer is always going to be a "No", no matter what he says or does. That he doesn't have any chance at winning your heart anyway, no matter how hard he tries. That the odds of you potentially saying "Yes" are virtually hopeless. I've been there, personally, for many years...and I cannot tell you incredibly and miraculously it would have lifted my heart with pure joy, if a girl who actually liked me had asked me out, during that time I was in that pit of darkest despair and deepest sorrow.
Anyway, just wanted elaborate a lil more, from a guy's perspective here is all...
Knight, thanks for that post. I am reminded of this because there is a guy I like and I do know he thinks I am out of his league. He's made comments like "she would never date me" and I think he's been stung before, not relationshipwise but rather that in the past he asked out a girl and got rejected.
It doesn't have to be this way, though...people do it "just because that's how it's been done in the past" and because it has traditionally been the way of things. If you really think about it though, as I have on quite a few occasions, the question becomes more "why do people let these silly traditions take such precedence over their lives"?
If a girl likes a guy: why not simply forget about arbitrary "tradition", and ask him out already? Please remember, guys have feelings and human hearts, too...if a guy has been rejected one too many times and by a statistically-significant number of girls, eventually and after enough time, it hurts -- and in some cases very deeply. A guy might be completely head-over-heels for a gal, but also think something "She's out of my league / I will only get rejected again / She is too good for me and will only say no anyway, even if ask I her".
Ladies, my point here is that it's not always the case that he doesn't like you or isn't into you, that he doesn't ask you out -- but it's oftentimes because he may think the answer is always going to be a "No", no matter what he says or does. That he doesn't have any chance at winning your heart anyway, no matter how hard he tries. That the odds of you potentially saying "Yes" are virtually hopeless. I've been there, personally, for many years...and I cannot tell you incredibly and miraculously it would have lifted my heart with pure joy, if a girl who had actually liked me romantically had asked me out, during that time I was in that pit of darkest despair and deepest sorrow.
Anyway, just wanted elaborate a lil more, from a guy's perspective here is all...
AMEN!, but i've chosen to adapt
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And rejection can obviously hurt very much and be rather devastating to a person, man or not...
