Couples who share housework more likely to divorce (male, college, sexy)
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man wants it to be equal, thinks 6 hours (3+3) should be enough for both of them. (his way)
woman wants it to be equal, thinks 12 (6+6) hours should be enough for both of them. (her way)
should the man do twice as much, or should the woman do half as much? i don't have an answer, i'm just saying, when i see these "sex and housework" studies that conflict one another, this is the issue i think about. From my perspective, most of my friends' wives have higher expectations of what should be done than their husbands do, and it isn't immediately clear whether one of them is right.
In my case, I stopped doing more than he did. Instead, I put in the same level of effort.
As a result, I was treated to a never-ending litany:
"There's nothing to eat."
"Why aren't there any clean dishes?"
"What's for dinner? Am I supposed to order a pizza?"
"Oh, crap, I don't have anymore shirts."
"God, this bathroom is GROSS."
And the comment that made me realize I probably shouldn't be married to him much longer:
"John and Sue have such a great place. We live in such a dump."
Now, see, I'm not a violent woman, but at that moment, I had a vision of kicking him so hard his doodads would shoot out his mouth. Instead, I took a deep breath and very calmly and politely suggested that he engage in an anatomical impossibility with himself.
But I do agree there can be conflict about perceptions and women can be very ----I'll say anal about it. Some of my personal issues were cooking. When I cooked it was a nice meal with a meat and veggies, somtimes bread and desert. His contribution of providing a meal was ALWAYS "do you want me to order a pizza". Dishes. His contribution was washing HIS plate. Big whoop. On the extreme end, making the bed. The bedspread has cording that fits the shape of the bed. Throwing it on sideways and cockeyed is not making the bed. Im by no means Smartha S, but come on.
Now I could swear I was my husbands first wife...but it sounds like he was married to you as well!
My husband will help out, so I can't complain, but if it involves water or scrubbing he taps out. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid
It depends on the size of the house.
Cannot see how doing chores is a full time job, without kids, unless you live in a house that's falling apart and needs a total renovation.
We ALWAYS have some kind of renovation/updating going on in our house...but it is FAR from falling apart.
However, I do agree with you. I maintain the house and even with a few kids and pets it only takes me about 3-4 hours through the day to complete everything (1-2 rooms a day plus laundry and daily tasks).
It clearly means that women want a masculine man, and not a doormat of a husband who does the dusting and washes her socks. Gender equality and feminist movement, are often the culprits for misunderstanding the fact that men and women are very different, and find different traits attractive. Let the man take care of manly duties like, construction, fixing things, garbage removal or anything physical and let the wife perform her duties as well. Gender equality was fought for by many and for very good reasons, but it wasnt meant to make you think that men and women are the same and want the same things in their partner.
You're right. Now excuse me while I get back to my woman-bashin' beer-guzzlin' lady-cannoodlin' maritime-piano-playin' qu**r-punchin' boulder-pushin' wood-choppin' heavy-object-liftin' ways so that women will like me.
Every single article based on a "study" that shows up in the mainstream media needs to be examined according to this doctrine. Wild assumptions are almost always made not only by the reporter, but by the "study's" conclusion so as to prove the point that they are looking for. Particularly when it comes to relationships, there are SO SO SO SO many variables interacting that anyone that says "sharing chores causes 50% more divorces" should be slapped.
I agree. These "Studies' do not account for variables either. If one person is a neat freak and overly obsessive about housework then it can be a source of stress. I am a male, Unmarried and have been on my own a long time. I plan on still doing the housework and keeping things clean if I settle down without being overboard about it. Nothing wrong with both partners maintaining the household. And no tit for tat either. One spouse/partner may have a stressful month, sick etc and there should not be a scorecard.
People who live in a small living space are much better off.
I
REALLLY
Cannot see how doing chores is a full time job, without kids, unless you live in a house that's falling apart and needs a total renovation.
Exactly. Still, women make it seem it is a living hell to do chores and punish their man with no sex because they are too tired and got a headache after doing a house chore here and there while their man was working 8 hours a day to bring the bacon. We’re talking specifically about a house with NO KIDS.
I agree. These "Studies' do not account for variables either. If one person is a neat freak and overly obsessive about housework then it can be a source of stress. I am a male, Unmarried and have been on my own a long time. I plan on still doing the housework and keeping things clean if I settle down without being overboard about it. Nothing wrong with both partners maintaining the household. And no tit for tat either. One spouse/partner may have a stressful month, sick etc and there should not be a scorecard.
Just my 0.2
This bolded part is very true. If you're keeping score, it's never going to be dead even every single day, and expecting that is harmful to a relationship. It should balance, should all even out in the end. If it's truly lopsided, you have bigger issues than who's taking out the trash.
Exactly. Still, women make it seem it is a living hell to do chores and punish their man with no sex because they are too tired and got a headache after doing a house chore here and there while their man was working 8 hours a day to bring the bacon. We’re talking specifically about a house with NO KIDS.
Apart from being purposely inflammatory, you might be talking about a house and no kids, but the rest of us aren't.
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