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I will be brutally honest and will probably alienate myself here a bit. You have to understand my background. I come from a very old school Italian family and my mothers side is from far north New England where there were no ethnicities besides different types of caucasians. Ex irish, french, dutch, et.
Years back there were two african american women who were very sexy and I could tell there was a mutual attraction. One I was working with at a marketing firm. I could tell she was getting very frustrated that I wouldn't ask her out. We were constantly making eye contact. I'm not a fan of large arses, and she was slender with a cute perky butt and a beautiful face. She could have been a model. The other one was very good looking as well, but that's kind of besides my point. I know in both cases that the feelings were mutual, (you'll just have to take my word) because it would take too long to explain. At that point in my life I was past the "player stage", so I wasn't willing to sleep with them and then discard them. I began to grow up and I cared too much about other peoples feelings. Plus, I believe in karma. What goes around comes around.
Anyhow, I ultimately decided not to date either girl (both within a six month span of themselves) because of what my family would think, and what we might have to deal with. My mother told me a long time ago and I never forgot this. She told me when you date a girl (any girl) you also date their family. I understand that there are a lot of black guys who don't like their women dating white men. Not that they seem to have a problem with dating white women, but that's another subject altogether. I just thought in the end, the desire to date them wasn't as strong as the potential crap we very well could have had to go through because of it. At the time I lived in a fairly large city where you didn't see alot of that. I know this is an extreme example. But I had a friend (who's also white) date a black girl in Rochester N.Y in the early nineties. He left her house one night only to be jumped by about ten black guys who stabbed him over forty times in the back for this. One of them was her neighbor. He develeoped a hatred for that white guy for dating one of the good looking black girls. Let's face it racism exists and probably always will. After that incident he hated all black people. It probably wasn't the best way to go about it, but I didn't go through what he did, so I am not going to judge him.
I personally don't hate anyone, but I could imagine that that road could potentially be too troublesome. I am not implying every black family would make a fuss, I am simply implying both families mine and theirs would most likely take issue. My grandparents were very old school and were racists. Same with many of my uncles including my father until my sister and I changed his views back in the early nineties. I can honestly say that my father is no longer racist. My mothers side forget it. People fear/ sometimes hate what they don't know. She never really knew any of them.
Put it this way, we had my grandmother who is from NH come to stay with my mother several years ago and we explained to her that we live in a city with alot of minorities. We were driving through what many might call a ghetto, and she says one time while driving through there with the windows rolled down, look at all these (the n word). We quickly explained to her that we don't call black/ african american people that) I hate saying african american because it sounds too politically correct. I don't call my self Italian/french american. We-basically all of us who live in the US are Americans period. We all came from different ethnicities and we all migrated to the US. We are Americans in my mind. Anyhow, sorry but I got side tracked a bit. My point was that on my mothers side of the family they lived in a really small city that had one black family. Who everyone treated well mind you, but they eventually moved probably because they were the only black family there.
So that's honestly my stance on it. I used to think having kids with a black women would be difficult for the kids, but the way the world is blending I don't think it has the same impact. Although, I wouldn't really know because I am not everyone else. I am only one person with one opinion. But my reasons were mainly family. That's my two cents, take from it what you like, leave the rest.
Sorry so long, and if you read all that let me know I will rep you for your patience..lol
Keep feeling sorry, I know a lot of people that also say the same thing.
Not to make any sort of general statement or stereotype, but a lot of Asians I encounter seem to suffer from race obsession (which isn't the same thing as being racist, but both are negative things imo), wonder why is that?
Like I have met a guy who's interested in me and I've thought, not into his features, his height, his manner of dress and his attitude towards women but I've never thought, ewwww, I don't date _____.
I will be brutally honest and will probably alienate myself here a bit. You have to understand my background. I come from a very old school Italian family and my mothers side is from far north New England where there were no ethnicities besides different types of caucasians. Ex irish, french, dutch, et.
Years back there were two african american women who were very sexy and I could tell there was a mutual attraction. One I was working with at a marketing firm. I could tell she was getting very frustrated that I wouldn't ask her out. We were constantly making eye contact. I'm not a fan of large arses, and she was slender with a cute perky butt and a beautiful face. She could have been a model. The other one was very good looking as well, but that's kind of besides my point. I know in both cases that the feelings were mutual, (you'll just have to take my word) because it would take too long to explain. At that point in my life I was past the "player stage", so I wasn't willing to sleep with them and then discard them. I began to grow up and I cared too much about other peoples feelings. Plus, I believe in karma. What goes around comes around.
Anyhow, I ultimately decided not to date either girl (both within a six month span of themselves) because of what my family would think, and what we might have to deal with. My mother told me a long time ago and I never forgot this. She told me when you date a girl (any girl) you also date their family. I understand that there are a lot of black guys who don't like their women dating white men. Not that they seem to have a problem with dating white women, but that's another subject altogether. I just thought in the end, the desire to date them wasn't as strong as the potential crap we very well could have had to go through because of it. At the time I lived in a fairly large city where you didn't see alot of that. I know this is an extreme example. But I had a friend (who's also white) date a black girl in Rochester N.Y in the early nineties. He left her house one night only to be jumped by about ten black guys who stabbed him over forty times in the back for this. One of them was her neighbor. He develeoped a hatred for that white guy for dating one of the good looking black girls. Let's face it racism exists and probably always will. After that incident he hated all black people. It probably wasn't the best way to go about it, but I didn't go through what he did, so I am not going to judge him.
I personally don't hate anyone, but I could imagine that that road could potentially be too troublesome. I am not implying every black family would make a fuss, I am simply implying both families mine and theirs would most likely take issue. My grandparents were very old school and were racists. Same with many of my uncles including my father until my sister and I changed his views back in the early nineties. I can honestly say that my father is no longer racist. My mothers side forget it. People fear/ sometimes hate what they don't know. She never really knew any of them.
Put it this way, we had my grandmother who is from NH come to stay with my mother several years ago and we explained to her that we live in a city with alot of minorities. We were driving through what many might call a ghetto, and she says one time while driving through there with the windows rolled down, look at all these (the n word). We quickly explained to her that we don't call black/ african american people that) I hate saying african american because it sounds too politically correct. I don't call my self Italian/french american. We-basically all of us who live in the US are Americans period. We all came from different ethnicities and we all migrated to the US. We are Americans in my mind. Anyhow, sorry but I got side tracked a bit. My point was that on my mothers side of the family they lived in a really small city that had one black family. Who everyone treated well mind you, but they eventually moved probably because they were the only black family there.
So that's honestly my stance on it. I used to think having kids with a black women would be difficult for the kids, but the way the world is blending I don't think it has the same impact. Although, I wouldn't really know because I am not everyone else. I am only one person with one opinion. But my reasons were mainly family. That's my two cents, take from it what you like, leave the rest.
Sorry so long, and if you read all that let me know I will rep you for your patience..lol
Your biracial children would have it much easier than full black children for sure. The lightskin skin, and soft textured hair would make it easier for them to fit in with mainstream society.
Not to make any sort of general statement or stereotype, but a lot of Asians I encounter seem to suffer from race obsession (which isn't the same thing as being racist, but both are negative things imo), wonder why is that?
Like I have met a guy who's interested in me and I've thought, not into his features, his height, his manner of dress and his attitude towards women but I've never thought, ewwww, I don't date _____.
Too many of them to generalize, but I've noticed this in my own people as well. I spoke to a cousin about it and she mentioned that it's different for us since most Asians in Western nations are first or second generations, whereas some whites have been here for as long as nine. There were some who migrated in the early 1800s, and they're already really Westernized.
However, I do not think that is a valid assertion because many Hispanics are also first and second generation. Also, a new crop of whites immigrated directly from Europe after WWII so they'd only be second or third generation today. It's true they do seem to assimilate faster, though, but they usually settled in more rural areas or had parents and grandparents who let go of the past and married another ethnicity (usually still white).
I'm pretty sure it's an Asian thing. In Asia, it's quite rare to see ethnicities intermarry even if you're in a nation with a lot of minorities. They all hated on minorities, closing minority schools, throwing rocks at them, and opposing intermarrying. Back there, they still received the same level of hate for it. All in all, I think my English professor's comparison to most whites being religious is accurate, "You Asians have the same issue with racism."
I remember asking my dad when I was younger, "But they're still Asian! Wouldn't that be good enough? Jeez!"
He said, "Yeah, but their attitudes are different. We're just not open like whites. Whites accept everybody regardless." Not surprisingly, whites are "ghosts" in Chinese.
Your biracial children would have it much easier than full black children for sure. The lightskin skin, and soft textured hair would make it easier for them to fit in with mainstream society.
There are no written guarantees that all biracial children end up with light skin and soft textured hair.
One of my best friends and her brothers are all mulatto. Between her and all of her brothers, one looks completely black, one looks hispanic, and her and another brother are lighter skinned but have thick kinky hair and black features.
It's a luck of the draw, and nothing with children is ever guaranteed on how they will turn out looks wise. One of my brothers looks like my grandfather. My niece came out looking more like me than anyone else in the family.
There are no written guarantees that all biracial children end up with light skin and soft textured hair.
One of my best friends and her brothers are all mulatto. Between her and all of her brothers, one looks completely black, one looks hispanic, and her and another brother are lighter skinned but have thick kinky hair and black features.
It's a luck of the draw, and nothing with children is ever guaranteed on how they will turn out looks wise. One of my brothers looks like my grandfather. My niece came out looking more like me than anyone else in the family.
The mixed children I see usually have lightskin and soft textured hair. I've never seen any that look fully black.
Too many of them to generalize, but I've noticed this in my own people as well. I spoke to a cousin about it and she mentioned that it's different for us since most Asians in Western nations are first or second generations, whereas some whites have been here for as long as nine. There were some who migrated in the early 1800s, and they're already really Westernized.
However, I do not think that is a valid assertion because many Hispanics are also first and second generation. Also, a new crop of whites immigrated directly from Europe after WWII so they'd only be second or third generation today. It's true they do seem to assimilate faster, though, but they usually settled in more rural areas or had parents and grandparents who let go of the past and married another ethnicity (usually still white).
I'm pretty sure it's an Asian thing. In Asia, it's quite rare to see ethnicities intermarry even if you're in a nation with a lot of minorities. They all hated on minorities, closing minority schools, throwing rocks at them, and opposing intermarrying. Back there, they still received the same level of hate for it. All in all, I think my English professor's comparison to most whites being religious is accurate, "You Asians have the same issue with racism."
I remember asking my dad when I was younger, "But they're still Asian! Wouldn't that be good enough? Jeez!"
He said, "Yeah, but their attitudes are different. We're just not open like whites. Whites accept everybody regardless." Not surprisingly, whites are "ghosts" in Chinese.
A very good post. I lived in Malaysia so we are a little more open than Korea, Japan or China, but yes in general traditional Chinese can be very, very xenophobic. Thankfully that didn't stop my parents, else I wouldn't be here hehe. My parents would not care if I married a lamppost or a Martian if it meant I was happy.
The mixed children I see usually have lightskin and soft textured hair. I've never seen any that look fully black.
Are we talking about half black kids? If so, most of the ones I've seen look fully black. Even though one parent was a non-black, I always noticed they mostly look black except maybe a couple of features (ex. they don't have the signature thick hair) or their eyes are a bit different.
A very good post. I lived in Malaysia so we are a little more open than Korea, Japan or China, but yes in general traditional Chinese can be very, very xenophobic. Thankfully that didn't stop my parents, else I wouldn't be here hehe. My parents would not care if I married a lamppost or a Martian if it meant I was happy.
Yeah, and then some experienced conversions when they moved. I remember when I was younger all my aunts were still really racist and hated it when an older cousin married an Arab. Only one uncle was fine with it, said it didn't bother him as long as they could get along. My parents told me they'd prefer a Chinese over other kinds of Asians.
My mom was actually partially raised in Malaysia with her siblings and she told me that their Indians and Chinese have intermarried over there, yet no Malaysians and Chinese for some reason unlike the other nations where Chinese have settled.
Are we talking about half black kids? If so, most of the ones I've seen look fully black. Even though one parent was a non-black, I always noticed they mostly look black except maybe a couple of features (ex. they don't have the signature thick hair) or their eyes are a bit different.
Yes, I am talking about half-black kids. I have never seen any that look fully Black to me. I can spot them from a mile away. I think people have forgotten what fully black people really look like. There are folks who think Obama looks 100% Black, when in fact, he clearly looks mixed.
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