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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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If anything I think this is a sign that you should work on finishing any emotional business you have with your bf. Does he still have ANY stuff in your apartment? I went through this with my roommate who was getting over breaking up with his ex-fiance. One critical part of his moving on was finishing his emotional business and getting her stuff out of the apt so he could have her out his life for good.
I'm not the most spiritual guy, even though I consider myself a Christian, but I do believe in signs on a limited basis.
Good lord. I'm never going to LA. I effin' HATE lizards.
You're having second thoughts about a big decision. That's normal. But you thought this through, I'm assuming. Don't turn back because of that first wave of regret - that wave of regret hits EVERYONE unless the relationship was a complete disaster. Move past it.
It's just a *shudder* lizard, for cryin' out loud.
It's been a week since I saw that dang lizard. I didn't talk to the ex for an entire week, but then I realized I wanted him in my life.
A part of me couldn't let go. I felt like our souls were intertwined. I guess I was truly in love with him, although while he was still here my feelings were overridden by resentment and annoyance. All I ever wanted was for him to love me. A part of the reason why we broke up is because I felt like he didn't love me enough. If he doesn't love me as much as I love him, he isn't worth my time. Anyway, I refrained from contacting the ex for a week, hoping he would contact me, but he did not. Then last night, I finally gave in and texted him to ask how he was doing. A casual text conversation led to my eventually disclosing my feelings of still loving him and not being able to fully move on (unless he didn't love me anymore and was certain he wanted to move on). He said he was busy and couldn't respond then. 24 hours later, he still hasn't respond to my heartfelt text.
This morning, while taking the trash out, I found a DEAD lizard in my patio. It was caught in a spiderweb and coiled up. I'm not sure if it's the same lizard. It's the same type of lizard but who knows whether it's the same one. This is the second lizard I've ever seen in my home, and it was the morning after I contacted the ex for the first time in a week, poured my feelings out and he was unresponsive.
The timing is just so weird. What a sign!
I guess if I were to take this sign, it means he's out of my house and dead to me now. I buried the lizard.
I've always been a non-religious, logical person who believes that everything can be explained by science. I have never believed in signs or anything supernatural. I know that our minds tend to pick up on coincidences and ignore the times when no coincidence has occurred. If I broke up with my boyfriend and heard his favorite song on the radio the next day, I wouldn't think of it as a "sign." There were many other song I heard that day that weren't his favorite, and I only noticed when they did happen to play his favorite song.
However, what happened to me yesterday was not really like this.
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He moved out yesterday. We broke up because we have been having a lot of conflict - constant fighting and lack of respect - for a long time. My boyfriend said he was willing to change and try to work things out, but it is contingent that I am also willing to change. When he asked me whether I was willing, I said I don't know. I have too much resentment built up. So he packed his things and left. I am not ready to let him go, but I didn't feel a desire in my heart to work things out because I have so much doubt about him so I couldn't say yes.
This morning, I literally woke up to find a lizard in my bathroom. And it was somewhere I was sure to see it - by the wall in front of the toilet, so when I took my morning **** I couldn't miss it. I was really shocked. I live in an apartment in the suburbs of Los Angeles and I have never seen a lizard in my home before.
What made it a totally WTF moment is that my boyfriend is absolutely obsessed with lizards. It's not some random thing he likes among many others. He grew up with pet lizards, lizard t-shirts, stuffed animals, and we used to look for lizards when we go hiking. It's his favorite animal.
I really don't know what to make of this. I have considered the possibility that he put it there recently as we were reaching out breaking so I'd find it and think of him if he left? However, I think the chance of that is very slim. He's just not a romantic guy like that (which is part of the reason why I didn't want to be with him anymore). Also, it wasn't a fancy lizard you get a pet store... it was a common juvenile alligator lizard that you'd find in the wild.
I also considered that the heat wave forced the lizard indoors. It's been 100 degrees for the past couple of months in my area whereas it's normally in the 80's. I've had other hot summers before though, and no lizard entered my home.
I have never believed in signs, but things like this is converting me into a believer... I mean what are the chances? Seeing a lizard for the first time ever in my apartment in Los Angeles, on the morning after my boyfriend packed his things and left after being together for 3 years?
What should I do... ignore this "sign?"
Since you say you are a logical person I would say the logical answer to this question is: Has the boyfriend changed long term? Talk is cheap and actions speak volumes. If you broke up because you cannot get along there is a reason you could not get along. If he says he wants to change, great, can't he change living in his own place? Logically if you think the lizard is a sign then contact him and see how he has changed BUT limit your contact to public places, dates, movies, etc. DO NOT let him move back in to see if he has changed, DO NOT let him spend the night, DO NOT spend the night with him. Logically and realistically IF he has changed those changes will shine through no matter where you are together and what you are doing. Then after a long period of time if the changes are permanent THINK about planning for your future together.
I've always been a non-religious, logical person who believes that everything can be explained by science. I have never believed in signs or anything supernatural. I know that our minds tend to pick up on coincidences and ignore the times when no coincidence has occurred. If I broke up with my boyfriend and heard his favorite song on the radio the next day, I wouldn't think of it as a "sign." There were many other song I heard that day that weren't his favorite, and I only noticed when they did happen to play his favorite song.However, what happened to me yesterday was not really like this.I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He moved out yesterday. We broke up because we have been having a lot of conflict - constant fighting and lack of respect - for a long time. My boyfriend said he was willing to change and try to work things out, but it is contingent that I am also willing to change. When he asked me whether I was willing, I said I don't know. I have too much resentment built up. So he packed his things and left. I am not ready to let him go, but I didn't feel a desire in my heart to work things out because I have so much doubt about him so I couldn't say yes.
his morning, I literally woke up to find a lizard in my bathroom. And it was somewhere I was sure to see it - by the wall in front of the toilet, so when I took my morning **** I couldn't miss it. I was really shocked. I live in an apartment in the suburbs of Los Angeles and I have never seen a lizard in my home before. What made it a totally WTF moment is that my boyfriend is absolutely obsessed with lizards. It's not some random thing he likes among many others. He grew up with pet lizards, lizard t-shirts, stuffed animals, and we used to look for lizards when we go hiking. It's his favorite animal.I really don't know what to make of this. I have considered the possibility that he put it there recently as we were reaching out breaking so I'd find it and think of him if he left? However, I think the chance of that is very slim. He's just not a romantic guy like that (which is part of the reason why I didn't want to be with him anymore). Also, it wasn't a fancy lizard you get a pet store... it was a common juvenile alligator lizard that you'd find in the wild.I also considered that the heat wave forced the lizard indoors. It's been 100 degrees for the past couple of months in my area whereas it's normally in the 80's. I've had other hot summers before though, and no lizard entered my home.I have never believed in signs, but things like this is converting me into a believer... I mean what are the chances? Seeing a lizard for the first time ever in my apartment in Los Angeles, on the morning after my boyfriend packed his things and left after being together for 3 years?What should I do... ignore this "sign?"
Ignore this. My sister lives in LA and she told me that the heat has been driving all kinds of critters towards her house including snakes. I think it is just a coincidence and chances are this lizard was quite happy he found a cool bathroom floor to lay on..the toilet is also cool to the touch as it is more than likely porcelain.
I think when we all break up with someone or lose someone we look for signs that they are around us or still care about us. Has happened to me on several occasions. When my husband died, I use to watch for purple shaded clouds..he loved purple. Although I did see some on occasion, it was me reaching for being close to him. I know that now.
Move on and put Mr. Lizard back outside...I hear the weather has cooled down some!
^I honestly wasn't actively looking for signs. That lizard just showed up in front of my eyes while I was on the toilet. I couldn't miss it!
It's good to hear that there is some explanation for its appearance. Well actually it's a bit disconcerting. It would be nice to have some faith. I would be a happier person.
OP, you're obviously quite a spiritual person, if you believe that the lizard was a sign, then burying it is surely symbolic of burying the past.
Time to move on with the future.....
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